dear_mun | (no subject)

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What, you wanna know the secret? Alright, here's the secret. Half the time, it felt like I had no idea what I was doing either.

Guess we'll see if it works out in your favor, huh?

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Wh— [ hold up ] You mean the whole "I have a plan— not" shtick isn't a given? I was led to believe it's a bit of a commonality up here. Case in point: my upstairs management.

Digging the RoboCop digs, by the way. Could use a little color, but substance over style, I guess.

[ . . . ]

Are you commenting on my wardrobe choices?

[ To the tune of is this happening? ]

[ Blithely: ] Uh— yes? Why? Is that considered below the belt in space?

[ You save the world not once but roughly three times. You win a galactic war against sentient Lovecraftian alien spaceship creatures. You are the ultimate space badass.

Tony Stark still comments on your lack of panache. ]

There's better things to do. [ LIKE SAVING THE WORLD. ]

[ WHAT ABOUT SAVING THE WORLD IN STYLE, JANE??? ]

Better than— what, like, better than this conversation — which I will take as an insult — or better than doing five seconds of maintenance?

[ Some things are more important than making your armor gaudy colors. Like, you know, stealth? Tne element of surprise? ]

Five seconds can mean a lot in a war.

[ Yeah, she can be kind of dramatic, but look, the world is at stake okay? ]

[ Um, gaudy is a matter of taste. Also, 1) who needs surprise if you are the toughest fucker on the block, and 2) come on, this stuff is gonna be important when they finally make your biopic. ]

I can sense you being resistant to the idea of fashion as a whole— well, possibly me as a whole— and for your information, I have a perfectly functional grasp on the principles of time and getting crap done right under the wire.

[ Space Captain America is really done with your shit, motherfucker. ]

Look, in the grand scope of things, there are bigger fish to fry. [ She sounds kind of defensive, because, you know, not the most in-tune with her femininity blah blah military she gets it. And also, she obsessively collects models of ships, so maybe lecturing somebody on bigger fish to fry is kind of pointless. ]

[ God, please never tell him about the model ships. ]

Yeah, and you could technically live without teeth but I don't see you making a big fuss about letting go of dental hygiene.

In your defense, you still looked good doing it. Not as stylish as some, but pretty damn close.

Oh, is that right? You really going to go there, Vakarian?

Who, me? Go there?

Yes. Yes I am. And you can't say you didn't see it coming.

That's because you're as obvious as a hunk of rocks.

[ Why does she like you so much, again? ]

Like anyone aboard the Normandy is subtle. Let's face it. You'd be bored with that.

[Because he's Vakarian.]

The Normandy's a stealth ship, but we don't really do sneaking. We go in, shoot up the place, and then sometimes blow it up for good measure. And you like it.

I like it more when we don't have thresher maws running after us.

And I like it more when you're not the one driving the Mako. All due respect, of course, Commander.

[The expression on his face is as close to a smug grin as a turian can get.]

[ She'd punch you in the face if your face weren't already so broken. :I ]

Hey, I object to that. We always got out in one piece. You need more trust in the first human Spectre, Garrus.

I have plenty of trust in your biotics, shooting, and commands. But everyone has their... idiosyncrasies.

[Sometimes he wonders how far he can tease you and get away with it.]

Nobody's perfect, Shepard. Not even me.

So what's your big idiosyncrasy, huh? Remember, too handsome doesn't count.

Damn, you caught me on that one. [There's a huff that's almost laughter.] But are you saying the great Commander Shepard doesn't know her own crew? Or are you saying I'm just that good? Because I'd prefer the latter.

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