dear_mun | (no subject)

(no subject)

This isn't a problem you can fix with surgery. I don't think you can cut away anything that's happened and make it better. [his tone turns scornful] After everything that's happened you should know that.

There's no flesh to make clean, no tumor to excise (and you'd know all about tumors being removed.) ...GeneCo doesn't have a really positive mental health department.

So I can't offer you anything in particular except what you seem to have figured out. Or what you seem to be close to working out. It's clear you need more control if you still respond that way.

That's not to say you can't learn it.

And what better time to learn it then now?

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[Oh. A lecture. A propaganda lecture? That's what she's bracing for. That's what you get out of GeneCo employees. If you get anything out of them, at all. She folds her arms, almost like a huffy teenager...but she lets him finish.]

I know. [About all of that? ...Well, sort of.] I mean, I know about NOS, I had history lessons, too. But you can't put this all on scared people, when GeneCo became...you know, what it is.

My dad was afraid. Probably for his whole life, but mostly after my mom died.

...I'm sorry about your dad.

[Beat] Mostly your mom. Dads are shit. Ridiculous fucking shit.

Thanks. I guess I'm not that sorry, so I feel less...sick, less bad if someone else is.

I'm sorrier for my mom, too. Everything would have been different, with her.

That's usually how it goes.

[And then he tries to be encouraging.] Hey, you're-what- [he glances] ...seventeen? eighteen?

Time to leave. Just head on out of there, join up with friends, go to school, or join the military. That's what I did to get away from my dad.

[Actually his dad raised a hand to him that last time and he...nearly killed him and ran off. Don't do that Shilo.]

Seventeen. I don't...really have anywhere to go, yet. [Or any way of getting there...or any practical knowledge of...anything to use, once out of familiar territory.]

[Little snort.] I don't...think I'm really cut out for the military.

. . . You got somebody with you? I joined up with a guy. I watched his back and he watched mine. It makes it easier when you're out there and you don't know anybody.

Yeah, I guess I...sorta joined up with a guy, too. He's sort of the only person I have left.

[His brow furrows but he nods. Slowly.]

...Even if it's just one person that person can make the world shine for you. [beat] I mean making it on your own is tough but as long as you have one individual other people will follow. Blind faith from one single person attracts attention.

...Did that first line sound like something out of an opera to you? I've been working downtown and I think I might have had it stuck in my head.

I wouldn't call what I get...blind faith, exactly. But...it's probably the right kind of support I need, right now.

[And a little smile.] I guess everything sort of sounds like an opera, on the Island.

[That makes him laugh.] ...You're probably too young to remember movies. [wistful] ...I miss movies. I mean the dramatic nature of life that can't...I dunno, I've dated a couple of opera extras. All that singing. Movies had their own charm and quality. everything wasn't "life or death"

I know what movies are, I have video tapes. I mean, not many, but some.

But...I like operas. I like the singing. Or. I used to. When it was Mag doing the singing...

[He looks down]

...I have to admit I liked her in Aida. I only caught half of her last performance.

Well, she was good in everything.

Until she had to kill herself to get away from GeneCo and my dad. ...But I guess she was even good at that.

[He saw that performance (who didn't?) he saw that performance and...]

Your father was the repo man.

[The Repo man? The ONLY repo man. His colleagues looked up to him. he was...]

Yeah. I guess a lot of people knew him that way.

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