dear_mun | latest episode reaction

[She blinks a few times. What is she expected to say? She's admitted it once, and she knows how she'll be received. She's admitted it, so she can't go back. But it doesn't make her want to talk about it. There's still a part of her that feels like it's being torn a part. And while she's holding it together is seems that everyone can see her secret, that they're all right about her.

But she doesn't want to be treated like the monster she feels like she's become. Victim or not, she still sees them. So she exhales.]

I don't feel free. It wasn't some relief getting it off my chest. It just feels like the wound has been reopened. [And she's afraid of what it would take to close it. Nicholas Boyle only deepened it.]

I thought I could control it. Better to know it's coming than have it surprise you. All of it. Not just Nicholas Boyle. If I could control it, maybe I'll stop feeling like this. [Stop the dreams. As much as it seems she needs Hannibal and Will's protection, she wants to think she could do this all herself.]