juncture

[gramarye]

We're doing this again? Really? Must we.

Well... okay. Then I'm making this a formal petition to open up a cat cafe or something. You know, one of those places people can just come and pet cats for an hour. And that's just what my job can be, cat facilitator. Please no eldritch horrors or terrible conspiraces or military coups or riots. Look, I know it's not called World of Snuggles for a reason, but... just. Can I please not get shot or blown up or tortured or trapped in another dimension full of spirit beings intending to suck my soul out through my eyeballs. Definitely none of that.

You're not listening, are you. Okay. Glad we had this talk.

Comments

[hearmerory]

Sorry to say, friend, but I don't think we're going to summer camp.

Unless it's summer camp like the ones in every terrible horror movie we've ever seen in our lives ever. You know the ones. That's the kind of summer camp this is going to be like.

Sorry.

[gramarye]

That's okay, really. The last summer camp I went to turned out to be one of those terrible conspiracies. Then things blew up.

I would just be content with a normal city.

[hearmerory]

That. blows.

I don't think there's such a thing as a normal city. There's always an evil lurking beneath the surface. Some of us are just a little too naturally attuned to these things.

[gramarye]

At least a more mundane evil, then? Not that I'm not enamoured with the supernatural, but if something is going to kill me, I would at least like for it to be over in a timely fashion and not... I don't know, carried on for all eternity.

[hearmerory]

Tell me about it.

Being able to actually die would be a nice perk, even. Instead of having my soul forcibly ripped from my body and then shoved back in like that's all supposed to be normal or something. Mundane evil would be a nice change. Elder gods are just such divas.

[gramarye]

... yes, that um, would. I think "hands off the souls" is a pretty reasonable request...

[hearmerory]

Right? The Filth don't listen too well. Neither does Gaia, for that matter...

[seidhr]

You do realise you're only providing ammunition in the form of a convenient list—or is this a new style of résumé?

[gramarye]

That's my CV, yes. Shot, blown up, tortured, may or may not have left a man to have his soul ripped apart into tiny pieces that were then devoured by spacehellbeasts until he was a broken shell of madness and rage, um. The usual for this kind of thing.

[seidhr]

Hm.

This lot becomes you, then. Why worry?

have the most random icons because DW LEFT ME WITH THE LEAST USEFUL ONES

[gramarye]

I was sort of hoping for a happy ending.

meanwhile i am stuck in slow motion

[seidhr]

There seems to me some folly in begging of a wasteland that which not even your own fairy-tale will provide.

wamp wamp waaamp

[gramarye]

They've been found in less likely places.

[factotum]

I'm sorry to say that there is definitely at least one of those things. But it need not be attached to you, so there's always hope.

[gramarye]

I don't know. You notice how whenever someone's like, "Who wants something terrible to happen?" they all rush to volunteer at once?

[factotum]

The gravity of it can't be resisted, but think of it this way, you're all going down together. You might be the one who lands on the pile of other people's soft bodies.

[gramarye]

That's... that's not comforting.

[factotum]

Better than being on the bottom of that pile, if not ideal. It's not a nice thing to think about, I know, but would it be the worst thing you've been through?

[gramarye]

I honestly wouldn't even know where to begin there. I have a hard time evaluating it objectively.

Um, and I think "well, it's not the worst thing" is just inviting them to take it as a challenge. Piles of bodies are one thing, but I'd rather not invite, um... cordyceps and chairs made out of still-living people.

[ OH, YOU WOULD, WOULD YOU? ]

[propulsion]

Cool. Where do I sign?

[gramarye]

Bullets or eyeballs?

[propulsion]

You lost me around military coup, I'm still back on cats for an hour.

[gramarye]

... Oh.

Uh, well I can't promise anything, but an attempt will be made?

[propulsion]

What a lousy petition. Whatever. I'll pet cats the whole time if I want to.

[gramarye]

I hope you have better luck with it.

And that the cats aren't some kind of nightmare beings full of teeth.