[No one holds him like Soubi and Seimei holds him. His mother was too sick to hold him for long before she started attacking. His father just... never touched Ritsuka. Natsuo and Youji were his friends, but they had each other. Only Seimei and Soubi held him like he was something they loved with whole hearts. Not only did they love him, but they would protect him and could make him feel safe in the circumference of their arms. Their arms were strong and didn't judge. He was Ritsuka to them and that was the end.
So it was sickeningly cruel to know that when Soubi stopped hugging him, when this was all over, Soubi wouldn't consider him more than just "the Loveless sacrifice." Soubi would... possibly... no... WOULD see him as Seimei's brother. But Soubi himself would not risk such a hug again when this was all over. No one but Seimei would hold him again and Seimei wasn't even here. Seimei had taken Soubi and left.
What was Ritsuka supposed to do now? No Soubi, no Seimei, no fighter.
He was never going to get this again. Such a realization sat like a heavy weight in the pit of his stomach. He felt ill all over again and closed his eyes tight and bowed his head. He didn't want to cry again. He didn't want Soubi to see the tears as they steadily fell.]
But it wasn't enough.
[Ritsuka wasn't enough. He was a fraud of the old Ritsuka to his mother and now, he simply wasn't enough of a Sacrifice to Soubi. The bond they had, the earrings, the link, everything.... it simply wasn't enough compared to his brother. Who was he enough for?]
Sorry for taking so long
So it was sickeningly cruel to know that when Soubi stopped hugging him, when this was all over, Soubi wouldn't consider him more than just "the Loveless sacrifice." Soubi would... possibly... no... WOULD see him as Seimei's brother. But Soubi himself would not risk such a hug again when this was all over. No one but Seimei would hold him again and Seimei wasn't even here. Seimei had taken Soubi and left.
What was Ritsuka supposed to do now? No Soubi, no Seimei, no fighter.
He was never going to get this again. Such a realization sat like a heavy weight in the pit of his stomach. He felt ill all over again and closed his eyes tight and bowed his head. He didn't want to cry again. He didn't want Soubi to see the tears as they steadily fell.]
But it wasn't enough.
[Ritsuka wasn't enough. He was a fraud of the old Ritsuka to his mother and now, he simply wasn't enough of a Sacrifice to Soubi. The bond they had, the earrings, the link, everything.... it simply wasn't enough compared to his brother. Who was he enough for?]