The gentlest of British gents.

[misterknife]

Let me begin by saying that I look forward to working with you, dear girl. I'm sure it'll be a delight and a pleasure. [He doffs his hat.]

I must add now I've had a look about the place that I think you and I will get on famously. Wouldn't want you to think me a boor, but I do like my privacy and free time, you see. And I'm given to understand I'll have ample of both in your company. Splendid, really, a touch on the flattering side. Couldn't have asked for better.

Now, to be serious for a moment… I've also heard tell you find my proclivities a bit– what was the word. Ah. Yes, a shade, well, unsettling. Frightful shame; I do detest finding a lady's ill favour. But you've chosen to soldier on all the same. Marks to you, my girl. You shan't be disappointed. After all… I see my jobs through to the end. Unlike some less reputable riff-raff I needn't mention by name.

So! First on the agenda: dinner, some fine drink, and a few girls to keep me warm.

Obviously not you, milady. I've some shred of propriety left.

Comments

[gallant_guardian]

You wish to court multiple women?

Or are your tastes more... baser than that.

[Answer carefully, Jack. This is a woman that will more than readily make your life hell.]

[misterknife]

Base? My dear woman, I am but a man with simple… ample… desires. If you'll pardon my being crude.

[gallant_guardian]

You are a vulgar whoresired pervert.

[misterknife]

And more besides. All in service, milady.

[gallant_guardian]

Of yourself. Of this I have no doubt.

I swear, craven degenerates like you are worse than brigands.

[misterknife]

Perhaps. [He makes no bones that he's a terrible person, after all.] But it's all in service to the Crown, my dear. My interests are… momentary distractions.

[gallant_guardian]

Oh?

[You have her attention, at least. For King and Country is practically her mantra.]

[misterknife]

Scoundrel, murderer, fiend… I assure you, I've heard them all. And I assure you, they're all quite true. There's a seat by the fire in Hell waiting for me. [He opens his flask and takes a swig.] But, well. I've done my duty by the Queen, now, haven't I.

[gallant_guardian]

Explain yourself.

[misterknife]

My dear, what more is there to explain? I serve the Crown, protect Her Majesty's interests… [He pauses to rub the large scar beside his left eye.] …Pay my dues. You see, girl, there are tasks to be done that leave an ill taste on the tongue. They must nevertheless be done. Bitter work.

[A shrug, a second drink before he caps the flask and tucks it away again. He's just fortunate he enjoys his work so much.]

And there is so much of it to do.

[gallant_guardian]

You would debase even that of your own kingdom?

[That, ser, is LOW.]

[misterknife]

Oh, the Empire is well above a fellow such as myself. As you've noticed, even my darling mundane finds me questionable. [As well anyone of a right mind should.]

[He feels no shame whatsoever for his job. Can't be made to, either. Small wonder he's perfect for the work.]

[gallant_guardian]

I should cut you down and spare your land the indignity of your continued existence.

[And she means it, too. The last person that did what Jack claimed to do betrayed and almost killed her... three times.]

[misterknife]

My time will come, my dear, but it isn't now. Not by your hand… pity as that may be. I should like to meet my end by a beautiful woman. [Wistful sigh. Madam Blossom; such a tragic loss.] I daresay those who charge me my duties would be right put out by my premature demise.

[gallant_guardian]

You know the guilt you have taken part of, and that you should be brought low and yet you persist.

I don't understand.

[misterknife]

Duty, my girl. Duty. You understand. [He assumes she does, at least. That's been the trend of the conversation.]

[gallant_guardian]

For a kingdom to need such men... is it truly a kingdom worthy of persisting?

[Well, you have her number at least. :D]

[misterknife]

Ah, but the righteous can't keep their hands clean without men like me. [Job security. Wonderful thing.]

[gallant_guardian]

I hate men like you.

[And hate that she knows you aren't completely incorrect here.]

[misterknife]

An all too common refrain.

[gallant_guardian]

Then if you have heard this song before, I have naught another canto to regale you with.

[misterknife]

To happier business, then, if not a longer serenade. Have you any advice I might pass on to my mundane… should she seek a base of operations for me?

[gallant_guardian]

The pit always has reservations.

[misterknife]

Yes, I believe I mentioned, but my… friend, Poison Dagger, was good enough to get me one.

[gallant_guardian]

Though I am loath to say so, my player suggests to consider soul_campaign. It is where my player has in mind for myself, when the opportunity becomes available.

[misterknife]

My thanks, though perhaps it's best I not offend your sensibilities. You've been so kind.

[gallant_guardian]

Think naught of it. [Seriously.]

I am obligated to serve as the voice of my player.

[misterknife]

Duty is a harsh mistress. From my mundane as well as this humble servant, the utmost of heartfelt gratitude. [He doffs his cap and accords her the deep, from the hips bow of a good British gentleman.]

[gallant_guardian]

Nnm.

[And the bow is returned. For her honor, and for the sake of her rank as a knight.]

[aimsforthecrotch]

Well, it's always good to see someone who's up-front about what they want.

[misterknife]

Never pretend to something you're not, I say. Saves a great deal of trouble.

[aimsforthecrotch]

Pretty good way of doing stuff, I figure. Anything that makes there be a little less bullshit in the world is always useful.

[misterknife]

Well. Never would've thought I'd meet a Colonial with such a reasonable point of view.

[She is a Colonial, isn't she? Sounds like one.]

[aimsforthecrotch]

Dunno what the hell a Colonial is, but I'd like to think I've got reasonable ways of doing things. Can't say I got any idea where the hell you come from talkin' like that, though.

[misterknife]

[Oh. Well.] It's a sad state of affairs when one doesn't understand the mother tongue.

[aimsforthecrotch]

You one of those folks that spend their time pining for the Old World or something, guy?

[misterknife]

Pining? No need to long for what I already have.