On potentially being apped to cape_kore next month.

[superskelton]

All right, mate. It's been a while, eh? Was starting to think I'd never see the light of day. Suppose it'd be nice to get out somewhere again. Dunno about going where you're thinking, though. Seems like there might be a few nicer places somewhere. You definitely need to start rethinking when you want to take me from. I know you think it'd make it easier on me, but how's me being miserable going to help me fit in?

You don't know I'd be there on me own. You might find Ray around somewhere. The Guv. Drake. Shaz. You know how this place is. Might even find Tyler if you're lucky. Or Cartwright. That'd be a blast from the past. Even if you couldn't... I could cope with that. Even if you made me so I was from a little bit sooner. Really.

Anyway, look. I don't mind you finding a game for me. Just maybe one with a few more basics in it. I can't go off the fags again. You know how that was last time. Well. You don't. But trust me, it's like torture. If you ever start smoking, don't quit.

Comments

[genegenie]

Going where now, Christopher?

[superskelton]

Cape Kore, Guv. I think it's just some abandoned town. Bit rubbish, really.

[...]

Well. A lot rubbish. Dunno how he thinks he's going to get any fun out of this.

[genegenie]

Some blokes get their jollies off on cattle prods and bollocks -- no accounting for taste. [Pause.] Or that hair. Did a bleach salesman take a piss and shake off the rest at you?

[superskelton]

[And cue the paranoid hair touching. As though he'll be able to see what's wrong with it like that.]

I just had these redone. I thought it looked quite good.

[genegenie]

What, you've a bird to impress? She fancy Liberace?

...Hold up, re-done?

[superskelton]

Yeah. They're highlights, Guv. Same as last time.

They aren't really to impress her anyway. I mean, I know I got them for Shaz to start with, but now it's mostly because I like them.

[genegenie]

What are you on about, "last time"? This Shaz been feeding you whatever you poured on your mop?

[superskelton]

Guv? [He almost feels like he should be asking the Guv the same question. This entire conversation is impossible to make sense of. Luckily, Chris is only completely stupid 98% of the time, and all this exposure to the fourth wall is finally paying off. At least after about ten seconds of staring and trying to puzzle it out.]

What year do you think this is supposed to be?

[genegenie]

[Unfortunately, Gene has no experience with this fourth wall bollocks -- just his annoyingly impressionable DC.]

Oi, what have we got here -- bloody Prince Tyler the second? [Pause. Aghast gesture.] It's 1973, you great div!

[superskelton]

Ah. But is it? [Said annoyingly impressionable DC is looking about as proud of himself as he did the day he was successfully introduced to the concept of multitasking. Perhaps fortunately for both him and Gene he hasn't quite mastered the art of suspense yet.]

Things work slightly different here, see. For you it's 1973, but for me it's 1982. Most of the folk here aren't even from our century. They're all these future sorts. From 2001. Sometimes even further. Our muns are from 2013 or something like that.

[genegenie]

[Gene stares back at him. For a few bloody seconds.]

Come again, Chris? In my good ear this time, since it sounded rather like you said, "Bought a one-way ticket to Loonyville, Guv -- not sure when I'll return!"

[superskelton]

Look, I know it sounds a bit weird, but hear me out here, Guv. If I'm not from the future, why am I dressing like this? I wouldn't have been caught dead like this before we moved to London.

[genegenie]

[He gives Chris a once-over. Raises his brow, like it's a bloody magnificent point.]

[After a moment, he leans against the wall. Pulls out a fag, lights it. Takes a drag, like he's mulling over the notion.]

[He breathes out.] All right, then. The "future." [Pause. Now, the more ridiculous bit--] Did you say London?

[superskelton]

Well. Yeah.

[Chris looks distinctly uncomfortable. He's taking this better than he thought he would. There's a lot less yelling for starters. Trouble is Chris suspects this isn't quite the miracle it seems it is. There's no way the Guv's going to take this so easily. ]

[intelligently]

There's always a nicer place. [ And guess what, she's getting lumped in there too and also isn't happy about it. If a little less vocally complain-y... right now ]

[superskelton]

Yeah, but those are too boring according to this one. You getting dragged off there too?

[intelligently]

Boring isn't something to complain about. [ She wants it back ] And dragged is probably the best way to put it. I mean, it is kidnapping.

[superskelton]

I wouldn't complain about it. Not when it's our muns deciding what's boring, definitely.

The kidnapping's not the worst of it. It's what they want to do with you after you've got to look out for.

[intelligently]

Clearly they need to find something else to lighten their day.

Then I guess you're lucky that you've still got time.

[superskelton]

Not enough time unless he changes his mind about where he's sending me. You don't know that it'll work out for you yet, anyway. Maybe you won't get in. Or your mun won't like it after all.

[intelligently]

Oh, I'd get in. [ Why wouldn't anyone want her? Though that doesn't say anything about her mun's skill, just about her ] But that doesn't make it better. She's still trying, if he doesn't then you're saved. I'd work on that one instead.

[superskelton]

Yeah, I suppose. I could always stop talking to you. Then it might be neither of them have a big enough conversation to get in on. That'd do both of us a favour, really.

[intelligently]

If you want to be rude to someone who's trying to help. [ Even if he did have a point ]

[superskelton]

Right. No. Yeah. Sorry, love. I don't want to be rude to you.

[intelligently]

Good. [ Win one for Lydia Martin ] Now. Do you have a plan?

[superskelton]

Not really. Suppose I was just planning on waiting and hoping it turns out for the best.

[intelligently]

Well that's not going to get you out of it. [ Really? That was like doomed to fail ]

[superskelton]

It might. There's still about half a month before even reserves open.

[intelligently]

Well good luck with that.

[superskelton]

Well, what did you do? That obviously didn't work.

[intelligently]

I didn't have over a month to prepare. I was surprised with it.

[superskelton]

Then what would you have done? They're not so good at listening these muns. I already tried reasoning.

[intelligently]

Make it so they won't want to do anything with you.

[superskelton]

Well, that won't work. Not on him. The worse you are the more he wants to keep you around.

[intelligently]

Then be better. Be boring. No one likes a boring person.

[superskelton]

Be boring. Right. So I basically just do nothing?

[intelligently]

Nothing isn't always uninteresting. Talk about things that no one cares about, bore him.

[superskelton]

So football. And paperwork. Maybe mostly the football 'cause I don't want to talk about paperwork either.

[His face lights up.] Hey, you know this might actually work.