this isn't related to anything, really, I'm just bored and discussing this on plurk

[zeubermensch]

Well, that is, ah... quite the collection you've gathered here, Fräulein.

[he shuffles through a stack of pictures, the contents of which are stained very noticeably and suspiciously crimson. he seems both interested and a bit alarmed.

the alarm is overcome by something a lot scarier when he flips over a certain image, however.]

-- oooh! That's creative... I wonder what re-assembling someone after something like this would look like. You self-proclaimed "perverts" have quite the imagination!

[he seems far to pleased by that, and flips through the others with a grin.

he's found his mun's guro collection.]

... hmm. I wonder where one would find a device like this...

Comments

[hasstandards]

[There is nothing about this that he likes.]

... Doc.

[zeubermensch]

Hmm? Ah, can I help you, Sniper?

[he seems very chipper about it, and does not put down the questionable, violent pornography in his hands.]

[hasstandards]

[He does not want to know what it is Medic is looking at, but he has a feeling it's not good.]

You're awful happy about something, aren't you?

[zeubermensch]

[it's not. well, not for the participants pictured, at any rate.]

Oh, yes, yes, the pictures! It seems the Fräulein Mundane has quite an interest in this "ero-guro" artwork, and it's really very fascinating. I would be very interested in seeing the effects of some of these acts on a real, living body--

[... uh]

... not... yours, of course!

[hasstandards]

[Just going to take a step back. You know, to respect Medic's personal space and whatnot.]

Arrow what? Wait, this ain't like those pictures those mundanes go on and on about that've got us all in unprofessional, compromising, and bloody ridiculous situations, is it?

[zeubermensch]

Well... not exactly, no, although sometimes those types of acts can be involved, yes. The common definition seems to be combining what some find to be "appealing" with the grotesque. The Fräulein seems to have a particular affinity for violence.

[I'M NOT GOING TO LINK IT BECAUSE IT'S OBVIOUSLY VERY GRAPHIC, BUT I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT RIGHT AFTER I POSTED THIS I CAME ACROSS A GURO IMAGE FEATURING THE RED SNIPER AND RED MEDIC. OH GOD.]

[hasstandards]

[PERFECT TIMING IS PERFECT. I love it when little coincidences like that happen.]

I'd say she's not the only one.

[Seriously, how thrilled Medic is over this stuff is unsettling.]

[zeubermensch]

I find it interesting purely from a medical professional's standpoint, I assure you.

[yes

professional

because that is what he totally is]

[hasstandards]

... Right.

[This is the face of a complete and utter non-believer, Medic.]

[zeubermensch]

My mundane's perversion and my own professional interest are two very different concepts. And they are entirely separate.

... ooh! [looks like he found something he likes. he brings it a little closer to his face, adjusting his glasses slightly to get a better look.] Oh... I somehow don't believe that's going to fit back in there.

[he laughs.

I'm so sorry.]

[hasstandards]

[The only disgust that shows on his face is a slight curl in his upper lip and a wrinkle in his nose. His mind is putting together as bad an image as it can possibly come up with.]

You sure about that?

creeping myself out right now yep

[zeubermensch]

Yes, yes, what-- are you insinuating? [FROWN. this is the second time you've implied he's some kind of sicko, sniper, and, frankly, he doesn't appreciate that sentiment.

accurate though it may be.]

[hasstandards]

[This is how Sniper makes friends, apparently. It's probably not the best way.]

That maybe you and your mundane have somethin' in common. Maybe that's why you're stuck with her and not someone else.

[zeubermensch]

Even if it were possible to change mundanes-- which, I'm fairly certain, it is not-- the Fräulein here has shown nothing but somewhat embarrassing affection towards me. Why would I ever want to leave her, hm?

[not gonna dignify that other implication with a response.]

[hasstandards]

[He noticed.]

Right. You go on and stay with her. Let 'er fantasize about usin' your innards for drapes, or whatever bloody awful thing it is that's goin' on in those pictures.

[zeubermensch]

[I'm laughing so hard

thank you sniper]

Fine, then. I will.

[this is his nose going in the air. HUMPH. GOOD DAY TO YOU, SIR.]

I find it quite amusing, however, that a proud professional killer of men is judging a young woman's interest in violence so harshly.

[hasstandards]

S'not her peculiar interests that concern me, Doc.

[zeubermensch]

Oh, really?

[hasstandards]

Really. She's not the one whose job it is to patch us back up at the end of the day.

[zeubermensch]

Oh, you're being ridiculous. My perceived interest in this type of thing will do nothing to affect how I go about my work. Even if it were the type of interest that you seem to believe it is.

[hasstandards]

You're ogling those pictures like Scout does a dirty magazine.

[zeubermensch]

I most certainly am not!

[he quite suddenly shoves them back together in the stack, straightening it with a stiff motion.]

[hasstandards]

[That actually garners a laugh from Sniper.]

I suppose it's a good thing that lab of yours gives you some privacy, since you apparently need it.

[zeubermensch]

You know, I wasn't intending to attempt any of these ideas that she has given me, but... well. Just how fond of your entrails would you say you are?

[he flips through a couple of pictures pointedly, and then stares hard at Sniper over the edge.]

[hasstandards]

[Laughing time over.]

Oh, come on. I was only teasing.

[zeubermensch]

You would be wise not to tease the man who, as you so eloquently described it, "patches you up" at the end of the day.

[he grins, but it's more of a manic baring of teeth than anything.]

[hasstandards]

Hn. Right.

[He hates it when Medic has a point.]

[zeubermensch]

[he has several points.

they're attached to syringes in his bag.

BADUM-PSHHHHHH]

I am curious, however. Would you say this is better or worse than the other content that you were so concerned about?

[hasstandards]

Better, marginally. At least whatever you're lookin' at isn't about me.

[A pause as he has a second thought.]

... It isn't about me, is it?

[zeubermensch]

All of her favorites are, as a matter of fact.

[hasstandards]

Worse, then.

[zeubermensch]

[I'm sorry Sniper]

She likes you quite a lot, you know.

[hasstandards]

Guess I can count myself lucky I'm stuck with my mundane and not yours, then.

[That would be a first.]

[zeubermensch]

Aha, ah, that's kind of funny, really, considering that she's very seriously considered playing you herself in the past.

[hasstandards]

You know, the more I talk to you, the more I'm reminded that I don't like this place.

pardon the delay, I'm doing my nails :')

[zeubermensch]

You seem to be far from alone in that, my friend.

No worries! I'm sometimes here and there at the computer, so it's all good. :D

[hasstandards]

And you seem to be one of the few who is fine with their situation.

[zeubermensch]

[shrug!]

Really, I've no reason not to be.

[hasstandards]

Right. Not yet, anyway.

[zeubermensch]

What's the worst that she could do? Torture me?

[he laughs.

a lot.

his voice cracks a little.

it's actually pretty fucking deranged.]

[hasstandards]

[He just stares, unsure about this. Torture ranks pretty high on his list of things he's not happy his mundane has had happen to him, but Medic's reaction makes him think that his fellow RED doesn't think the same.

And honestly, that's more than a bit unnerving.]

[zeubermensch]

[he sobers after a bit.]

... ah, but, in all seriousness, there's a very high likelihood of this actually happening.

It's, uh. Actually not very good at all.

[hasstandards]

You're just now comin' to that conclusion?

[Still creeped out by the maniacal laughter- it shows even through that stoic facade he's putting on.]

[zeubermensch]

[I'm laughing so hard why do you continue to allow me to play this asshole

SHRUG.]

I wasn't aware of just how serious she was about it until she actually pondered the idea just a moment ago.

[mundane no]

[notintehkitchen]

Well, I suppose anything is better then listening to Scout talk about his imaginary girlfriend.

Sensei, what are you doing?

[hasstandards]

[Because it's fantastic, okay.]

Well, aren't you lucky.

[The way he says that distinctly says he thinks otherwise.]