はたけ・カカシ 「HATAKE KAKASHI」 (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
ura_no_ura) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
dear_mun2013-05-08 04:59 am
ura_no_ura) wrote in dear_mun2013-05-08 04:59 am
Entry tags:
on chapter 629
Obito...
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
You keep saying it, but saying it will never fix it.
So you can stop, because everything will be resolved soon enough. I don't care for your apologies, and your guilt is pointless.
You don't have to be like this, Obito. It's not too late...
Kakashi, you still don't get it do you? I don't have to, but I made this choice. This world has to go, and any arguments you have to the contrary are futile and ill informed, don't you think?
Maybe that is the case... Maybe I don't get it. But destroying this world and creating another is only an illusion.
Edited 2013-05-08 20:13 (UTC)
What makes you so sure that any of what you've been living is any more real than what I intend to do Kakashi? Maybe this whole time you've been sleeping, waiting for my plan to finish so you could wake up.
[ Obito is broken.
And Kakashi knows this, but he can't help but try to fix it, to fix what he did, even if Obito says there's no reason for him to feel guilty. Because just hearing this insanity, how much Obito's lost his grip on reality, Kakashi knows. It's out of desperation that Obito has become this way. Out of grief.
Obito can't accept a world where Rin does not exist.
Can't accept the system that made it so.
But this is reality in all of its ugly glory. ]
How would your reality be any different, when what you're living is a lie?
[ The words come out too softly. ]
And Kakashi knows this, but he can't help but try to fix it, to fix what he did, even if Obito says there's no reason for him to feel guilty. Because just hearing this insanity, how much Obito's lost his grip on reality, Kakashi knows. It's out of desperation that Obito has become this way. Out of grief.
Obito can't accept a world where Rin does not exist.
Can't accept the system that made it so.
But this is reality in all of its ugly glory. ]
How would your reality be any different, when what you're living is a lie?
[ The words come out too softly. ]
[His head cocked, because he knew what Kakashi was trying to do there, and his smile was filled with dark humor as he padded closer, truly lacking fear that Kakashi would do anything to him in any way. After all, if he hadn't by now, why would he?
What would make him stop hesitating when clearly, even in this false, horrible place, he couldn't accept that they were not on the same side?]
My reality... Mmm that would be telling. Are you too impatient to wait and see?
What would make him stop hesitating when clearly, even in this false, horrible place, he couldn't accept that they were not on the same side?]
My reality... Mmm that would be telling. Are you too impatient to wait and see?
But it's not real, Obito! Why can't you see that?
[ Something like desperation underscores Kakashi's words. ]
[ Something like desperation underscores Kakashi's words. ]
You're making me wonder who you are to talk about reality. You haven't faced it for a very very long time.
[He tisked, shaking his head as he came to a halt within arm's distance, one hand reaching to skim along the edges of his mask. He didn't pull it down though, instead just giving him a smirk.]
You've been denying reality every day for years.
[He tisked, shaking his head as he came to a halt within arm's distance, one hand reaching to skim along the edges of his mask. He didn't pull it down though, instead just giving him a smirk.]
You've been denying reality every day for years.
[ Obito's touch sends a tremor through Kakashi's frame as his fingers tighten into fists, leather creaking in the process.
Obito talks about reality, talks about Kakashi denying it, but that can't be further from the truth.
But even still, Kakashi wants so badly to reach him. ]
If that's the case... then tell me what this "reality" is I've been denying.
[ Because Kakashi doesn't understand. ]
Obito talks about reality, talks about Kakashi denying it, but that can't be further from the truth.
But even still, Kakashi wants so badly to reach him. ]
If that's the case... then tell me what this "reality" is I've been denying.
[ Because Kakashi doesn't understand. ]
[He heaved a sigh, leaning in close enough his breath could be felt as he pulled his hand back, resting his fingers lightly on his shoulder as he stared into eyes just as mismatched as his. No, of course Kakashi didn't understand.
Kakashi never understood anything.]
Why am I alive Kakashi?
Kakashi never understood anything.]
Why am I alive Kakashi?
[ Kakashi fights the urge to step back, to put space between them, when every shred of his body tells him that this is dangerous, that Obito could reach into his body and pull his heart out if he likes, or kill him in any other number of ways. But he stands his ground instead and doesn't move a step, gaze flickering away from Obito's because this close, it's hard to meet his eyes. ]
You wanted to survive.
[ That could be the only answer, right? ]
You wanted to survive.
[ That could be the only answer, right? ]
Is that really what you believe? It might even be true... but you've had more than enough chances to end me Kakashi.
[ Lighting sparks between Kakashi's fingertips at the words, before it sizzles out, ozone filling the air, and Kakashi staggers a step back then, fingers trembling. ]
Obito, please...
[ Stop this already.
The truth: Kakashi couldn't kill Obito. He doesn't have it in him. ]
Obito, please...
[ Stop this already.
The truth: Kakashi couldn't kill Obito. He doesn't have it in him. ]
Please? What do I have that you could possibly want Kakashi? [He didn't want to give him room to breathe, room to think, and he followed him, staying too close, tilting his head so there was no way to look away from him without closing his eyes.]
At least I don't expect you to be happy to see me.
At least I don't expect you to be happy to see me.
[ And see that's the thing.
There was a moment, a brief heartbeat, that Kakashi was so indescribably happy to know that Obito was alive. That Obito had survived. That Obito was still here and had gone on to see the future with his own eye. But that moment was a flicker, a glimmer of something deep inside Kakashi that was wiped out with the truth of Obito's crushing killing intent.
He shakes his head, and takes another slow step back. ]
You can stop this. You don't have to do this.
[ He knows he's starting to sound like a broken record.
But he doesn't care. ]
There was a moment, a brief heartbeat, that Kakashi was so indescribably happy to know that Obito was alive. That Obito had survived. That Obito was still here and had gone on to see the future with his own eye. But that moment was a flicker, a glimmer of something deep inside Kakashi that was wiped out with the truth of Obito's crushing killing intent.
He shakes his head, and takes another slow step back. ]
You can stop this. You don't have to do this.
[ He knows he's starting to sound like a broken record.
But he doesn't care. ]
Oh Kakashi. You're so smart... but you really don't understand anything sometimes, do you?
[His fingers tightened, halting him as he took another step, leaning in that additional bit so that there was contact between their bodies as well as their gazes.
Kakashi seemed to be under the impression that if he kept talking, he might get somewhere. Maybe if presented with evidence to the contrary, he'd finally learn to be quiet.]
And what other alternative is there Kakashi? Mm? A world where no one is happy, everyone that matters is dead, and you get to be the martyr once again because you are always the one left behind by the ones with the bad reputation, right?
Because you know I'd be killed, if I gave up, if I decided suddenly that I would walk back to that idealistic idiot's path that doesn't see that the flowers I'm smelling are grown in blood.
Not everyone will stay their hand like you Kakashi. In fact, I doubt anyone else would hesitate at all.
[His fingers tightened, halting him as he took another step, leaning in that additional bit so that there was contact between their bodies as well as their gazes.
Kakashi seemed to be under the impression that if he kept talking, he might get somewhere. Maybe if presented with evidence to the contrary, he'd finally learn to be quiet.]
And what other alternative is there Kakashi? Mm? A world where no one is happy, everyone that matters is dead, and you get to be the martyr once again because you are always the one left behind by the ones with the bad reputation, right?
Because you know I'd be killed, if I gave up, if I decided suddenly that I would walk back to that idealistic idiot's path that doesn't see that the flowers I'm smelling are grown in blood.
Not everyone will stay their hand like you Kakashi. In fact, I doubt anyone else would hesitate at all.
[ This close, Kakashi can't hide the tremor in his breath or down his spine, the way gooseflesh rises all over his skin when Obito presses himself like this so close, as though daring Kakashi to do something, anything, to push him away or hurt him.
Maybe that is what Obito wants. For Kakashi to lash out.
To try and hurt him.
To show that he can.
To show that Kakashi isn't any different from anyone else who would want to hurt Obito, too.
But Kakashi won't raise a hand against Obito. Not like this. Not here. Not now. Not when Obito is talking about if he gave up. The fact that he could even consider it, that it would be a thought that could enter his mind is proof enough to Kakashi that something of the Obito he once knew, the Obito who would have died for him, the one lying crushed under that rock all those years ago, still exists. Because Kakashi refuses to believe otherwise. ]
I would never let them hurt you.
[ He finally says, a hand rising slowly, tentatively, to curl over Obito's shoulder. Wanting to hold onto him. ]
I won't let you die.
[ He finally says, voice steady now as his fingers tighten. ]
You once believed in the same dream Naruto believes. And I know what you want is a world without a system as broken as ours. But you can change that system in a way that doesn't have to be an illusion... You can change it without destroying this world, Obito.
You're right that we have not really been so lucky... and that so many people we love are gone. But it isn't true that everyone who matters is dead...
[ His eyes flicker up to meet Obito's now, searching them imploringly. ]
You're alive, aren't you? It isn't too late to change...
Maybe that is what Obito wants. For Kakashi to lash out.
To try and hurt him.
To show that he can.
To show that Kakashi isn't any different from anyone else who would want to hurt Obito, too.
But Kakashi won't raise a hand against Obito. Not like this. Not here. Not now. Not when Obito is talking about if he gave up. The fact that he could even consider it, that it would be a thought that could enter his mind is proof enough to Kakashi that something of the Obito he once knew, the Obito who would have died for him, the one lying crushed under that rock all those years ago, still exists. Because Kakashi refuses to believe otherwise. ]
I would never let them hurt you.
[ He finally says, a hand rising slowly, tentatively, to curl over Obito's shoulder. Wanting to hold onto him. ]
I won't let you die.
[ He finally says, voice steady now as his fingers tighten. ]
You once believed in the same dream Naruto believes. And I know what you want is a world without a system as broken as ours. But you can change that system in a way that doesn't have to be an illusion... You can change it without destroying this world, Obito.
You're right that we have not really been so lucky... and that so many people we love are gone. But it isn't true that everyone who matters is dead...
[ His eyes flicker up to meet Obito's now, searching them imploringly. ]
You're alive, aren't you? It isn't too late to change...
Oh Kakashi. [His voice is soft, and he turned his head slightly, leaning in further still, so his lips were just shy of brushing his ear. Kakashi, who always seemed to think his way was right, Kakashi, who only learned at the expense of others, Kakashi, who always made him so angry.
His voice stayed just as soft, almost a caress of deceptive gentleness.]
I'm not alive, I'm just surviving, remember? And you... You should know perfectly well that you hurt me more than anyone else ever has, so why would I believe a single word out of your lying mouth?
His voice stayed just as soft, almost a caress of deceptive gentleness.]
I'm not alive, I'm just surviving, remember? And you... You should know perfectly well that you hurt me more than anyone else ever has, so why would I believe a single word out of your lying mouth?
[ Yes, Obito has every reason to be angry with him, to want to destroy him, to hate him, to not trust him. Kakashi deserves this. And should Obito want to strike Kakashi down but relinquish the world from his anger -- then that would be a just punishment. One Kakashi wouldn't fight.
He closes his eye, letting out a soft, broken breath. ]
You're right. You have no reason to trust me, after I hurt you the way I did... after I broke our promise. You have every reason to hate me and want to kill me... I accept that.
But Obito... [ His voice is soft now. Pleading. ] I would never break a promise to you again... I'd rather die than do that.
[ He pauses now, hand slowly dropping from Obito's shoulder, sliding down the curve of Obito's bicep and falling to his side. ]
...so tell me... Tell me what I can do to show you that you can trust me now.
He closes his eye, letting out a soft, broken breath. ]
You're right. You have no reason to trust me, after I hurt you the way I did... after I broke our promise. You have every reason to hate me and want to kill me... I accept that.
But Obito... [ His voice is soft now. Pleading. ] I would never break a promise to you again... I'd rather die than do that.
[ He pauses now, hand slowly dropping from Obito's shoulder, sliding down the curve of Obito's bicep and falling to his side. ]
...so tell me... Tell me what I can do to show you that you can trust me now.
[ But see, that's the thing.
In the end, it comes down to a stupid, foolish decision Kakashi made when he was thirteen. When he would rather sacrifice his teammate for some stupid rules and regulations than save the girl who bandaged his wounds and healed him with soft, gentle hands. And it was that decision that cost him everything.
That decision he made was the first domino to fall. The first of many. ]
I am responsible for this...
[ Because not only did he make that terrible decision that day, but he also couldn't keep the only promise Obito ever asked him to make. ]
In the end, it comes down to a stupid, foolish decision Kakashi made when he was thirteen. When he would rather sacrifice his teammate for some stupid rules and regulations than save the girl who bandaged his wounds and healed him with soft, gentle hands. And it was that decision that cost him everything.
That decision he made was the first domino to fall. The first of many. ]
I am responsible for this...
[ Because not only did he make that terrible decision that day, but he also couldn't keep the only promise Obito ever asked him to make. ]
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