Just a bit of voicetesting and pestering this muse

[uhitwasntme]

You're not funny in the least.

This is a very serious matter, so I don't like being called out of Darktown just to... Entertain you or.. something.

... Anyways, I'm not going to some bubble or tower or... Wherever else you said.

No questions, I'm just not going.

Comments

[questionablewit]

A king of cats? All cats and cat-spirits must obey his every whim, especially the ones involving mice?

[Meowwwwwwwwwww. Emphasis on the owwwwwwwwww.]

[uhitwasntme]

I'm sure he'd enjoy being pampered.

[Justice, however, is displeased with this cat lord idea.]

[questionablewit]

All cats do. [Grin] Tell me he has a crown.

[Hawke thinks Justice can bite her pretty little ass that they aren't talking about.]

[uhitwasntme]

Made of catnip and yarn.

[and Anders' hopes and dreams.

Justice can't be distracted from... Justice...!

Even if it is Hawke's booty and no one is talking about at all ever. Or thinkin about.]

[questionablewit]

[Hawke has now quietly decided to make Anders a crown out of catnip and yarn. Next Feastday, watch out.]

Do I want to know how you came to merge with a spirit of cats? Was milk involved?

[ooc: I owe you threading! I finally started it! Here y'go! Sorry it took so long, new game's been eating my attention.]

[uhitwasntme]

[Oh, Maker.]

I was drinking a flagon of milk and a possessed cat leapt on my head, and thus I lost my wits to a cat lord.

[ooc: No worries! I know how that is |D;;]

[questionablewit]

[She'll make a scepter to match. One that doubles as a cat toy. A stick with some yarn that have feathers attached at the end, perhaps.]

And you try to tell me that cats aren't dangerous.

[uhitwasntme]

[Anders can't be convinced to sacrifice his dignity for such a thing. At least, probably not.]

Are you afraid of cats, Hawke?

[questionablewit]

[Dignity, schmignity. Hawke has no use for such things.]

Not afraid, no. But I deal with enough sharp pointy things out for my blood as it is without adding cat claws to the list.

[uhitwasntme]

[Anders would like to think he has some left to his name.]

I'm sure they're nothing in comparison to battling anything we've come against~

[questionablewit]

[He can think that if he likes. But with those feathery pauldrons? It's all in his head.]

It's not a matter of comparisons so much as yet another thing. You already fix up my injuries from swords and arrows and Maker knows what. If I show up asking you to heal cat scratches too, I'm sure you'll just look at me funny.

[...all right, maybe she has some dignity.]

[uhitwasntme]

[There's a lot of things in his head. Dignity included.]

Well, don't harass cats, then~

[There's cats all around the clinic anyways.]

And I assure you, Hawke, I'd never look at you in any funny way.

[Maybe lewd, but not funny, unless you dressed up like a nug for some reason. Then you'd get strange looks from him.]

[questionablewit]

That's my point! They claw you even when you've being nice. Trying to feed them. Offering tummy rubs.

[Trying to bribe them to come home with you so you can give them to the nice apostate who lives in Darktown and has a thing for cats, because you want to make him smile. Darned uncooperative cats.]

Does that mean I can ask you to heal this splinter?

[She's never seen a nug. They sound tasty.]

[uhitwasntme]

You must unnerve them, then. If i ask how you approach them, part of me expects you to say you run full tilt and try to chase them down.

[That would more explain just why there are more cats than expected. Not that Anders minds. He adores the fluffy company. She could always visit him on personal business too. That would make him smile.

At the mention of her splinter, there's a sigh and he holds out his hand so she can let him examine it.]

Let me see it.

[questionablewit]

Do not. I lure them in. With milk. And string. And then when I approach them they claw me and run away. It's downright depressing.

[Of course, she does smell like dog. That might be part of it.

She holds out her hand. There's not a splinter. She just wants him to hold her hand. And he fell for it. Gotcha.]

Actually, you have a lot in common with those cats.

[uhitwasntme]

You must be cursed, then.

[said more jokingly than not. It is quite depressing that someone as beautiful as Hawke is rejected by his favorite animal.

And how could you trick a healer like that? Naughty.

But Anders is still looking for this splinter, folding her hand over then back again.]

If anything, it took a long while for me to get Kirkwall cats to like me.

[questionablewit]

Mm, maybe. [Her fingers close around his.] But I meant more the way you push me away if I get too close, no matter how nice I am to you.

[Yep, whole conversation revealed as Giant Metaphor For Their Non-Relationship. Hawke's not good with cats, but she's good with traps.]

[uhitwasntme]

[trap triggered!

Anders is staring and looking rather lost? Though he did make a somewhat rude habit of rebuffing her attempts to get closer, he did that to most other people as a general rule. He was an ex-Grey Warden Apostate Healer, not exactly the best person to be seen with.]

I simply don't want you to get hurt, or lose what you've gained because of me.

[He certainly doesn't remove his hands, no, because this feels nice.]

[questionablewit]

[Catching Anders' hand in a trap is much better than catching bandits. She rubs her thumb along his fingers.]

You don't trust me to take care of myself? I think I'm insulted.

[She's clearly teasing. Or reassuring. Or both.]

[uhitwasntme]

I'm certain you are, though you get yourself banged up enough to convince me otherwise.

[questionablewit]

Well then. If you do hurt me, you can heal me afterwards.

[She brings their joined hands to her mouth and kisses his fingers, holding his gaze all the while]

[uhitwasntme]

[His face goes a bit red and he tries to think of what to say.]

I'll heal all that I can, then.