dear_mun | Homeless; voice-testing

Honestly, Giles. If you don't do something exciting soon, they'll never do anything with you.

I assure you, the person pulling the strings behind the scenes has her plans for me. I wish she would wait, that is all.

[More accurately: he wishes she would do nothing.]

They seem to be very impatient. It's the influence of the internet age.

Ah, yes, the internet. It has its uses, I suppose, although if you asked me to expand upon them, I would have to direct you to someone else.

[Said as he tugs at the edge of his shirt.] You know, I actually have a little rash if you don't mind lo... Oh. Oooooh. Rash. I get it. Not like... right.

[Ahem.] So, what's the deal? This a case of Watcher versus Watcher or what? You know you're not getting anywhere unless you're the one pulling the strings. Just how it is around here.

[Oh, Xander. It's hard to tell if Giles is trying to hold back a smile or if that's just a trick of the light.]

Perhaps I should have used different words, although you caught on quickly enough.

I suppose that is accurate enough, but if you prefer it, it is a battle of wills. I think that cooler heads will prevail in the end, and I won't be going anywhere.

[Which is by far the better option in his mind.]

[Xander will assume it's a trick of the light, mostly because it usually is when Giles is "smiling" in his direction. No matter — he lives to torture the Watcher.]

But your cooler head is kind of... in her head, cool or not, so... [2+2 is adding up to 3 here.] You think your reasoning can out-will her personal mission to make you happen somewhere other than here?

[So does nearly everyone in his life, but for some bizarre reason, he finds himself still feeling almost fond of them, even so.]

I think so, and so does she, because if she did bring me to that, ah, place known as Wonderland, she would soon find her balance disrupted, and I could be wrong, but she doesn't seem to handle disruption well at all.

I believe she intends to make me happen, as you put it, in private storylines and other similar settings.

[Because "meme" is probably not a word that is in Giles' vocabulary.]

[Here's a sudden change in Xander. He grins. If he had popcorn, he'd be eating it as if suddenly watching the most interesting movie in the world.]

Oh yeah? Bet they'll love you. All those underage Asian badasses and those gray-skilled candy corn horned troll-things. Better start reading up, Giles, old buddy, old pal. Because there's a lot more than just demons and vampires out there.

[That sudden change just has Giles eying Xander with what is clearly a suspicious stare.]

I hope you realize that I am quite capable of handling myself, bizarre creatures and unusual people notwithstanding.

[But of course, he'll be turning to his books at the first chance that he gets.]

Right. I forgot. Big, tough Watcher man. [Xander will hold up his hands in a placating manner.] I think my point is that you're going to be one of those people that... attracts a certain type. It's not a bad thing.

Yes, and that certain type is hardly ever pleasant. I think you'd best reconsider your definition of a bad thing.

It does tend to narrow with use, doesn't it?

Quite a bit, yes.

You are keeping yourself out of trouble, aren't you?

Are you kidding? I've been hiding in my room — my parents' basement, as if I'm not tortured enough. And there's no cranky librarian to tell me what's up, so I'd say I'm probably more accurately oblivious to trouble instead of keeping myself out of it.

Oh yes, that is the exact word I would choose to describe the quality of your life.

[He sighs.]

I suppose that all of your hiding is keeping you safe, at least. I think Buffy and Willow would be very upset if you were in danger.

Hey, I can take care of myself. [...] Okay, so I can almost take care of myself, but you get my point. Buffy and Willow don't have to worry about anything... except getting me the hell out of here and returning me to the hell out of there!

[She sat down on the tabletop, looking intently down at the snagged cuticle on her left ring finger.]

Maybe I don't have a long run.

[Her tone was just a wee bit whiny, but damn it! She was tired of stopping and waiting.

Plus, she already had an outfit planned.]

[That just earned her a look that was mostly inscrutable and perhaps a little exasperated.]

Of course you do. You have a lot of things, and I'm certain that a long run is one of them.

[Perhaps it was the whining, but Giles sounded the slightest bit tetchy.]

[She looked at Giles, surprised. How could he be so mean all the time?

She huffed petulantly.]

So what? We wait around for the dead bodies to start surfacing? Why can't I just get out there, fight this thing, then be back in time for...

[She trailed off, deliberately blanking her expression. Even the slightest possibility of running into Mystery Man was leaving her giddy. But Buffy needed to appear tough, determined, and decidedly un-squishy.]

...for meditation.

[Nice save.]

[Don't tell this to Giles, but it comes with the territory.

Anyway, he just leveled her with a look that was equal parts long-suffering and again, exasperation.]

I don't believe there's anything to fight, Buffy. After all, don't we exist in our writers' heads? I believe some of them have nothing but cobwebs up there, but I highly doubt that any of us would find dead bodies in there, if we chose to look.

Or perhaps Xander is mistaken about our respective places of residence.

[Have another knowing stare, Buffy.]

The day that you choose to meditate of your own volition will be quite a special day indeed.

[Buffy tipped her head to one side.]

You're changing the subject. [Blink, blink.] Aren't you?

[She scootched down from the tabletop and made a show of gathering things into her bag.]

Anyway, what am I supposed to be doing? [Shove, shove - oh! There's that lost lipgloss! - shove.] What's the Council's proscribed method?

[Or was it prescribed? Damn, but she couldn't remember.]

Am I? I believe you were the one who mentioned dead bodies. I was merely following along.

At the moment, I think what you are supposed to be doing is complicated by the existence of these writers. If not for them, you would still be attending school and still fighting vampires when they appear.

[Leave it to Giles to correct her.]

The word you are searching for is "prescribed". The word that you used actually means to denounce or forbid, although perhaps the Council should do more of that. [Yes, he is being a bit mean now, or pedantic, however you are inclined to look at it.]

Edited 2013-05-09 07:01 (UTC)

[Buffy shouldered her bag and leveled a pointed glare at her Watcher.]

Has anyone ever told you how annoying that is?

[So, okay, now she'd simply devolved into general brattiness, and she knew it. Buffy winced and backed off.]

Sorry, that was mean.

At least five times a day.

[He's accustomed to her general brattiness, and so he merely smiles at her and waves off her apology.]

Reasoning with them never works.

It's hard to know the outcome of something if you never make an attempt to try.

That's true of most things.

But when you deal with them long enough, you'll realize they're worse than most anything you'd ever face in your own world.

Especially when it comes to 'shipping'.

That is a rather fatalistic viewpoint, don't you think? I'm not certain everything could be called worse than anything I've ever faced, and I have faced quite a bit.

I would rather not learn more about shipping, however.

Trust me, Giles, they never listen.

[Pout, sigh.] At least your mun didn't finish your re-app to a hellboat and get you all worked up and prepared, only for you to find out that the place is all warden-ed out for the month.

Homeless; voice-testing

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