dear_mun | (no subject)

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A doll has no need for these things. So long as father wants me to carry out his will, I must. Even if he makes me hurt them.

Even if he breaks his promise.

If I could choose something else don't you think I would have?

[There is a soft clicking sound as the boy lowers his head, though his expression does not change. The make-up on his face is meticulous, his hair without a strand out of place as he moves with careful grace to fold his hands in front of himself.]

My only purpose is to bring pleasure to others. Even if I was something else once... You know I don't remember. Julian is here, right? Take me to him, please.

[A pause as he appears to be listening to something inside of his own head.]

Yes, sir. I will go wherever you want me to.

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He really is all you think about, isn't he?

Leo--what else is there? Isn't he all you think about, as well?

Yeah but it's almost like you like it or something. [A beat.]

I guess you can't do anything about it. Part of your orders are to protect him and keep him safe, right?

[The doll makes a tiny, shuddering movement as he inclines his head again.]

Yes. I love Julian and I love our home. So I protect it no matter what.

Miseratii...What if one day, protecting our home and protecting Julian became two opposite things? What would happen then?

[He sounds about as miserable as he possibly can when he answers.]

It is likely that I would malfunction or break my Pact.

But could you survive it? You're supposed to be the strongest and best homunculus ever created.

[There's a strange hint of desperation in Leo's tone.]

I...I don't know. Why are you asking me things like this, Leo?

[He lowers his strange, preternatural eyes.]

Why are you being so kind to me? Normally you don't want to even look at me.

Because I have to know, and because there's no one tugging on my strings when I'm here. You too, even though you don't notice it. You're free, Miseratti.

Free? I don't know how to be free, Leo.

[Miseratti would probably be sniffling and wringing his hands if he were human. Instead, he raises his hands to touch his face, miserable with the idea of not knowing what to do with himself.]

You can't hide from it. You just are.

[Leo reaches out to gently take Miseratti's hands away from his pretty face. He marvels at their warmth; the fact that they've been given some form of life close to the real thing ever since his once-human-heart had suddenly begun to beat.]

You have to think. Do you know anything about where Mr. Sanarkant is keeping his treasures? Keepsakes? Anything at all?

The emerald. There's that but...But I don't know where it is.

[Miseratti clings to Leo's hands, finding comfort in the contact.]

You have to destroy me Leo. If you don't, he's going to use me to hurt you, and hurt him. I just know it.

I could no sooner destroy you than put a knife in Julian's heart.

[Leo says, his voice unusually gentle as he lets Miseratti come a bit closer if he likes. He lets go of one hand and puts his on the homunculus' slender shoulder, offering an embrace to him if he wants it.]

Julian believes in you with all of his heart. I have to believe too; that you can beat it. That you can choose.

[For a moment, he indulges in the embrace before moving sharply to stand up straight again. Miseratti is insistent when he speaks again.]

I can't choose, Leo! Don't you understand? There is no choosing. No matter what I think, if he says "Kill them!" My body will do it even if I scream and scream and scream.

[Leo stamps his foot, his characteristic temper flaring up.]

I will not kill you, you stupid homunculus! I will not lose you too, knowing what I am bound to lose!

[Miseratti's lip trembles and he lets out a miserable whimper.]

Leo, I'm going to hurt you. I'm going to kill anyone and everyone in his way and I can't stop it.

[He grabs Miseratti by the shoulders, holding him tightly.]

We will find a way. We will free you from this, and you will. Remember. What you are.

Leo...If you're wrong, it will be the end of us. Of everything.

[He leans forward, resting his head on the taller man's shoulder.]

I am willing to take that risk because I believe, Miseratti.

...Athen?

Jules?

[His eyes light up, and he smiles even though it doesn't sit right on his face.]

Athen? That's a weird name. It's me, Miseratti. Did you forget me again?

Again...? [ Something doesn't fit right, doesn't make the right connections in his head. ] I've...never forgotten you to begin with.

Never-ever? [Miseratti asks sweetly, his tone childish as he takes Julian's hand in his.]

It's okay. I don't really get it but you're here now and I feel so much better. Jules-- when I see you now, it feels like there are warm waves washing over my heart.

[A heart that he is ever-so-proud of, but only in front of Julian. His beating heart is their secret.]

That's just because it's so hot in here... [ He sighs, squeezing Miseratti's fingers lightly. ] But I'll keep you safe. Promise.

I'm always cooler than you! You can hug me and maybe it'll help you cool off.

[Even though he can't feel very well, Miseratti lays his hand on Julian's forehead delicately.]

[ He leans into Miseratti's cool fingers gratefully, his own skin hot to the touch. ] Thank you.

Don't thank me, [The homunculus speaks softly and then leans in to press a gentle kiss to the tip of Julian's nose.]

Just love me, okay?

I do love you.

[ It's barely a breath on his lips, and he laces his fingers with Miseratti's wearily. ]

I know you do. [He says fondly and pulls Julian closer to him. He leans up and nuzzles his shoulder.]

I'll protect you okay?

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