On Grab Bag Canon Plot

[oneslickedison]

Mun Darling,

... what do you mean you don't have a flipping clue on what to do with me?!

Please stop imagining me with cat ears. You know they're of no practical use, and it's just frivilous thought-wasting exercises.

C'mon. You're more creative than this. I'm more creative than this.

You'll think of something. You always do.

Sincerely,

Howard, who is not going to become a feline-person. It's stale as five day old bread.

Comments

[notanambassador]

You shouldn't let me learn about any more of your weaknesses or you'll be too easy to manage.

[oneslickedison]

Beautiful, I am never going to be easy to manage, and we both know it. But if you want to even the score ... you could tell me a few weaknesses that I might need.

[notanambassador]

You want me to just tell you? Where is the fun in that?

[oneslickedison]

Oh? Are you going to let me tempt it out of you? Fun.

[notanambassador]

You're a smart man, I'm certain you can manage with no help from me.

[oneslickedison]

I am reputed to be clever ... and I do know that you don't have much head for strong liquors, even if you enjoy them, you also like dancing, fine dresses, and kissing.

[notanambassador]

I can manage strong liquor as well as . . . other women my size.

[Okay, not well at all.]

But the dancing and kissing are both relative. Both can be done well or poorly and it makes quite a difference in my susceptibility.

[oneslickedison]

Hmm. Yes. I can see that.

[A slow lip quirk, but he keeps it under control. Mostly.]

I see ... so ...I should just try both of them again. To see how susceptible you are to my charms.

[notanambassador]

[Getting the genteel glare treatment.]

That sounds self serving to me. A line of research that requires you to kiss me repeatedly to test the results?

[oneslickedison]

[He grins cheekily, stuffing his hands in his pockets.]

I always like to test my data, Inara. Make sure I've come to the appropriate conclusion. Namely, you like me to kiss you. How will I know if I don't try again?

[notanambassador]

I'm considerably more complicated than one of your machines. You may never achieve reliable results.

[oneslickedison]

And this is why I must constantly crunch the numbers. But don't worry, I'll add other factors to it. Can't just go around kissing you. No ... there will be dinners, and picnics, and music - lots of music - and near kisses and cheek-kisses, and no kisses at all.

[notanambassador]

You're not going to get any kind of reliable data with that much variation.

Which is your goal, I suspect. No risk of a conclusion ending your fun.

[oneslickedison]

You might be absolutely correct.

Again, correct. [Looks at her, arching an eyebrow.] Still want to let me experiment?

[notanambassador]

I have nothing overly pressing on my schedule right now, I can spare you a bit of time. For now.

[oneslickedison]

Hm. Well. Glad you're just so ... excited. [faint snort]

[notanambassador]

Just do me one favor?

[oneslickedison]

[Tips his head to her.] Ask and you shall receive.

[notanambassador]

Make sure I'm somewhere soft before kissing me so senseless I can't stand again. Because I know you will.

[oneslickedison]

[Oh, and that's a sucker-punch where he didn't expect it. In a good way.]... I think I can manage that.

[notanambassador]

[She likes to keep him on his toes.]

I appreciate it. I'd rather not have one of your experiments end with my hitting my head or something like that.

[oneslickedison]

[Oh, and she does at that.]

I am not ever going to let you hurt yourself when you're kissing me. Cross my heart. [Which he does.]

[notanambassador]

If that's the case, then I'll do my best to keep time on my schedule for your experiments.

[oneslickedison]

Very good, and since we've worked out the framework for the experiment.

[And so, he stepped forward, cupped her face and kissed her. Firmly. Because you can only drive Howard so crazy before there is a physical reaction.]

[notanambassador]

Is there anything else that we need to --

[Okay, evidently they've reached Howard's limit and there will now be kissing. Not that she minds in the slightest. Her hands rest on his arms as he proceeds to make her very distracted.]