Work with me, Lucy..

[highnessheinous]

Ohh, it's you again.. I thought you died!

Well, whatever it is you want from me, the answer is no! Absolutely not! I'm done with cities and card games and being dragged around like some helpless play-thing! All this running around distracts me from what's most important- being absolute ruler of everything! And that's precisely why this whole... being-your-muse-thing just won't work out!

It's all or nothin', bub! Miseryville or bust! Either I'm running my own planet, or-

[Or?]

..O-or... I could consider your arrangement. After a thoughtful weighing of the pros and cons. ...Don't give me that look! This is entirely by my own choice.

Comments

[miserygenius]

... Since when have your feet looked like that?

[highnessheinous]

I don't know, but I'm not complaining!

Though, since we're on the subject, how long have yours looked like this?

1/2

[miserygenius]

[well shit.]

--!!
How did you--!?

2/2

[miserygenius]

[She attempts to grab him by the collar.]

You can't tell ANYONE about this.
ESPECIALLY Jimmy!

Got that?!

[highnessheinous]

[He just accepts being grabbed, smirking.]

Oh, relax, I'm not going to tattle..

I mean, as long as you don't give me a reason to!

[miserygenius]

[She scowls in return with a bit of a low growl, dropping him.
He's such a pain.]

Just remember you're not the only one who can dig up dirt on people.

[highnessheinous]

[Oh yeah. Whoops.]

I'm pretty sure you've dug up my dirt at some point or another. Either you or Jimmy. Or Beezy! It happens often.

[But there's still plenty more embarrassing dirt to be found. At least it's nothing like Heloise's.]

[miserygenius]

[She grins.]

Exactly.
So I'd be keeping that in mind.

[True, he has no secrets like Heloise's.
But what he does have...
Well, it may or may not be just as important.]

Especially since I know a name.
A certain name... that starts with "M".

[highnessheinous]

[Oh no you DIDN'T-]

I thought we agreed to drop that subject AGES ago!

[miserygenius]

[Oh yes she did.]

We did~
You know, just so long as you don't give me reason to bring it up again.

[Yep, that grin just gets wider.]

[highnessheinous]

[RGFKFFFFHHHRRGH]

Point taken.

Sheesh. Way to take the fun out of everything, Heloise.

[miserygenius]

Isn't that what you pay me for?

[highnessheinous]

I pay you to make everyone else miserable. Not me!

[miserygenius]

Don't be a spoilsport~

[highnessheinous]

But that's my job!

[miserygenius]

[She rolls her eyes. This is going nowhere.]

Let's just both agree to keep this... hush-hush, alright?

[dualsneakers]

I knew it!

Uh. I mean.

What a surprise?

aaaaa<3 love your username!

[highnessheinous]

[WHERE DID YOU COME FROM]

Ok, Heloise? I didn't mean for him to see that. Honest!

[But really, Jimmy is good about taking these things in stride. It's not such a big deal! ..Heloise won't kill him for this, right?]

thanks!

[dualsneakers]

[he is everywhere at once, lucy. one day you will realize]

Dooooon't worry. If it's a secret, it'll be safe with me.

And Beezy.

And maaaaaybe Cerbee.

And Dr. Scientist.

And--

[highnessheinous]

NO! Don't- tell- anyone! Why is that so hard to understand?

[dualsneakers]

Because it's awesome! Everyone has to know how awesome it is.

LET ME LOVE YOU.gif

[miserygenius]

[WELL DOUBLE SHIT.]

--!! AH!
J-Jimmy, look, I... I can explain!

[She smiles nervously while rubbing her arm.]

You, uh, remember the time... I made you and Beezy think I had chicken feet?

[dualsneakers]

Noooo need to explain, Heloise. [After all! Something slimy? That time that they tried to see her feet but were shooed away? It was so obvious!]

You're able to change your legs, aren't you?

[miserygenius]

Well... yeah.

[She holds out her hand, and suddenly, it morphs into demon claws, like in the picture.]

Not just my legs too.

[Her hand changes again, to a tiger's paw. Then to a scaly reptilian claw. And then back to her normal human hand.]

Cool, right?

[Oh dear misery PLEASE let him think it's cool not incredibly freakish or horrifying or something.]

[dualsneakers]

That's awesmazing! [not horrifying today]

Heloise! You have to make me able to do that too!

[miserygenius]

[She smiles, with a small laugh. What a relief.]

Isn't it?

[But, quickly looks unsure.]

Um...
I'm not... actually sure if I can...

[That, and she's not sure that even if she could, if she wants to.
She'd rather just have you stay looking like Jimmy.]

[dualsneakers]

Pleaaaase? Do you know how cool it'd be? [Jimmy's thinking in terms of looking like something really cool than looking like the normal ol' Jimmy. Kinda.]

[miserygenius]

Well...

[Dammit. She just can't say no to him.]

I'll look into it.

[She can at least do some research.
No harm in that, right?]

[big_laundry]

...if you're ruling the planet, can you at least give me the Tri State area?

Cause that'd be great.

[highnessheinous]

Listen, I'm not really big on the whole "trade your soul in exchange for wishes" thing. I'm not a genie!

And besides, what does that mean? Do you want to be KING of the Tri State Area? Or do you physically want me to give you the place? Places?

[big_laundry]

Can't we just go into business? I'm not really big on the soul-selling thing.

[He hadn't really thought of that. He just WANTED it.]

Which one is better?

[highnessheinous]

Sorry, I've got my own business. Spreading misery! It's a full-time job.

Being a king, of course! Then you can boss everyone around! Who wouldn't want that?

[big_laundry]

...so is there anyway you can give me the Tri-State?

Yeah, yeah! And then I'll show that ROGER, thinking he can be the mayor of Danville. Sure, he got voted for it, but I deserved to be mayor!

[highnessheinous]

'Fraid not. Giving you what you want is the opposite of what I do, so..

But I'll tell ya what: You should freeze that Roger guy in a block of ice! That'll get him out of the way!

[big_laundry]

Actually I already tried the freeze-inator. Perry the platypus broke that. Besides, it wouldn't give me the Tri State area! Just Danville and that's less than Tri.

[avoidingwork]

Didn't you die?

[Not that he really... remembers you much. Course that could just be his forgetfulness.]

[highnessheinous]

I don't know, didn't you? I'm losing track.

[Naw Lucy just had a lot of trouble being social. He's pretty sure they played cards a few times, though.]

[avoidingwork]

... I died awesomely, that's all that matters!

[highnessheinous]

Oohoho! I wish I could've been there to see it!

[avoidingwork]

You should have been! There were explosions and I even saved some chicks and I got a huge reward for my awesomeness!

[highnessheinous]

Oh, it must have been spectacular. I would have brought popcorn!

But tell me, how did you get a reward for your "awesome death"? Did they throw flowers and money on your corpse?

[avoidingwork]

I came back! How else do you think I'm talking to ya?

[You think he'd learn how to fib better.]

[highnessheinous]

I assumed it was because we were in some sort of limbo beyond reality. But hey, coming back from the dead works too!

[No way, this is way more entertaining.]

[avoidingwork]

That's dumb though. I don't even like limbo that much!

[highnessheinous]

Really? You seem like you'd have no trouble with it.

[Wait- LUCY YOU HAVE NO RIGHT MAKING HEIGHT JOKES.]

[dualsneakers]

Nice picture, Lucy! But where do you find shoes for feet like that?

[highnessheinous]

You're not supposed to wear shoes if you have hooves!

...Unless they're horse shoes.

[dualsneakers]

Cool! You know they're lucky, right? Maybe if you wear them all the time, your luck will turn around.

[highnessheinous]

My luck is just fine! It's YOU that causes most of my problems!