( thor 2 crap )

[odinsons]

[ there are so many, many things to say. countless things, meaningful things, heartfelt things, gut-wrenching things. but above all, clearly the most important thing to glean from this delightful sneak peek that has been so tenderly provided for us: ]

Well [ ... ] at the very least, my coiffure is far better than my brother's, yes.

[ whatever.

you're all thinking it. someone had to say it. ]

Comments

[liugan]

[ shut up. shut up shut up shut up. ]

I sincerely hope something dreadful happens to you and your woman.

[lunging]

[Wow rude.]

And here I thought I would be the one focusing on the lack of haircare the most.

[Come on Thor talk about your girlfriend or plague-faced bad guy or something, you're stepping on his toes here!]

[odinsons]

[ NO. THOR WILL NOT BE SILENCED. it is bad enough loki has brought shame upon the house of odin but he doesn't need to be bringing his metal hair band lifestyle along for the ride!!!!!! ]

I would say you do not mean that, but I suppose I have learned far better to know that you do.

[odinsons]

[ deal w/ it ]

Perhaps [ i.e.: it is ] it is simply meant as a distraction from the unrest, my friend.

[ nah. everyone else is going to. he needs to act out right now and be as free as loki's hair. ]

[baddriver]

I know he's been locked up for awhile, but your brother is in serious need of a haircut.

[And some L'Oreal]

[liftme]

[He looked good, didn't he? And they referenced him, Thor! Hammer-wielding! He's in there, looking so awesome and mighty and fierce and making you looking awesome and mighty and fierce!

Who cares about hair when you have a hammer as majestic as this guy, right? C: It'll be okay, buddy!]

[liugan]

[ just watch you let loose those braids and you're going to look even stupider. ]

You suppose?

Come now, Thor, this has been a long enough ride as it is. Surely you cannot be so uncertain.

[odinsons]

[ babe, it's gonna take more than l'oreal to treat that hot mess ]

Among other things, to say the very least.

[odinsons]

[ perfect weapon. you are the one and only true love of his heart.

thor ♥'s you man

big time. ]

[lunging]

[This is why you get in trouble! No one listens to Fandral! "Jotunheim isn't a good idea, Thor!" he says. "But I helped you get so much pussy over the years, dude, come on!" he gets in return. So, okay, they go to Jotunheim, and look how that turned out! Bad! Awful! Cold and Midgard and no pussy for Fandral!

Thor: the worst bro.]

At least my new face didn't make an appearance. Make the audience wait for the best part, right?

[liftme]

[OMGASKJDFHAS THOR!!!! You're bad enough to make a hammer blush!

Not, you know, that he can blush. But he's magical! He can kind of blush, show off that hot sexy knot tattoo (no alpha/omega shit now) and get all warm and feel all good and wonderful because Thor is the best!!!!

But maybe he should turn into a fork or something because holy asscrackers, Loki needs more than a sandwich. He needs like an entire Subway.

Feed your brother!]

[baddriver]

[Like an attitude adjustment and something to fix his daddy issues?]

Do you really trust him not to stab you in the back again or escape once he's out?

[Not to mention kill her?]

[odinsons]

[ impossible! from the looks of it, someone has better control over thor's hair this time around than vidal sassoon hot oil treatment that was left on too long ]

It is not uncertainty that plagues me, brother. [ not really. he'd like to think not anymore, but that is unlikely ] Dry sarcasm is not my forté.

[debts]

Because you're worth it.

[ Hey, spies watch TV too. ]

[liugan]

[ will too!! you'll look ugly and stupid and like a buttface just you wait ]

Ah. [ better leave the sarcasm to the silver tongued, bro not bro. ] One day, we'll make a clever thinker of you yet.

[odinsons]

[ look. fandral striking out is not thor's fault. maybe he shouldn't be such a slutty mcnopants and he'd get some better quality poon. jotunheim may not have been the best idea, but it was fun. IT WAS FUN AND YOU KNOW IT. even if, y'know, fandral did get stabbed in the chest.

be a fucking man about it, bro.

at least fandral got to meet darcy while on midgard. that is likely quality. ]

Yes. I am sure that is exactly the reason. Not everything can be given away all at once! What allure would there be to see it after that?

[odinsons]

[ omg. moéjolnir.

only a true worthy weapon forged from the stars could emote in such a special way (????????????) though this is new. thor will give it a mighty rub down later to keep it clean.

and he needs more than a sandwich. probably an entire outback steakhouse as well. ]

[lunging]

[Oh yes! An uproarious good time! He got icicle'd and got to be dragged away while one of his best friends got to kicked out of Asgard—all without being able to say a word of goodbye (or words other than noises of pain and being worried about his face, but shh)—and watched as said friend's brother (also a friend) went from jealous to totally deluded!

YES THOR JOTUNHEIM WAS THE BEST IDEA IN THE WORLD

But, blah blah, pussy and bad ideas and Loki aside they are talking about his beautiful face and yes, good, that's better. That's much better. Soothes the savage beast, Fandral's ego.

And his face.]

Maybe they'll keep him out entirely. People will actually have to pay to see the new me. Definitely a good deal of allure in that, I'd say.

[odinsons]

[ something along those lines. but, not too much as he still needs to be loki. just less on the killing bits. that'd be awesome. ]

...

[ he means to answer, and yet nothing comes. see, this is one of those meaningful and gut-wrenching things that could have been said that he didn't want to think about or face or anything of the above. he knows, at least, he can keep jane safe—she shouldn't ever worry about death's cold hand seeking her.

and if that means fighting his brother, he will have to do just that. ]

I do not trust Loki at all—not anymore.

[ but. there is a reason loki won't escape. what that is, of course, WHO FREAKING KNOWS. or maybe he does and that is the ending of the movie. loki riding away on a go-kart. ]

[odinsons]

[ natasha you beautiful mortal queen... if only he got that reference. ]

Aye. Worthy of many things.

[ that works... ]

[liftme]

[Oh Thor!!!! THOR~! How could he be anything but moe for you, big buddy!? He can't possibly attempt to be tsun or yand or chan or sushi or anything else! Loki's heart only shadow, Mjolnir's body only Thor's! It's the way of things. Anyone who can't see that is blind and it's not their job to educate them. The truest love is between a man and his weapon!

Thor though for real is this Mjolnir's fault? Did he sit on Loki's chest too heavy before he went into the abyss? DID HE DENT LOKI'S CHEST!?! Because it looks pretty concave at this point and Mjolnir never meant to hurt him like that! Never!

He's gonna need a whole hour of rub downs and handle polishing and girls playing the lyre and singing because this is just really distressing!]

[odinsons]

[ wow. HOW CHILDISH! it is impossible for thor to look ugly when he is clearly a super beefcake. his face is also not a butt. COME ON. better insults! ]

My mind is far sharper than you give credit for, Loki.

[ it would do you well to remember that. ]

[baddriver]

But you need him to fight this war.

[Obviously Thor needed Loki to perform some specific task he couldn't complete on his own. He wouldn't have released his brother otherwise]

And you need me. Why else would you whisk me off to another realm entirely with no warning?

[Really Thor, you need to work on your timing]

[odinsons]

[ yes??? and????? there is hardly much to complain about. fandral still had his life. that is important. or else who would bang those sweet asgardian ladies??? hogun?????????????????? i think not.

it was a sad turn of events, but had they not happened like that, they would have in a different way. perhaps an even more destructive sort of way.

anyway. who knew thor had some mad tactical skills to avert a fandral meltdown? who's the boss? (this guy) ]

I would wholeheartedly agree. There should be some amount of physical surprise, after all. Who better than you?

[ omg someone get this guy an award pls ]

[odinsons]

[ hopefully not sushi. thor might accidentally eat him with his god-sized appetite. anyway. truer words have never been spoken. no one can come between thor and mjolnir. well, they can, but it won't end very well for them???

it's okay, bro. thor's got your back... er... whatever. this is mostly loki's fault, don't be fooled. bro doesn't know how to properly keep shit suppressed and went all crazy go nuts for... various reasons.

okay. sounds like a right deal. in fact, maybe two hours and some new polish. and a flute along with the lyre. maybe a poem written so all the realms may know that no finer a weapon has ever graced the whole entire universe. ]