dear_mun | Voicetest | Canon is Guidestuck!

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Voicetest | Canon is Guidestuck!

[Poor Cal is just a bundle of excitement and nerves, here.]

OH MY GOSH MUN!!! THIS IS REALLY IT??? YOU'RE FINALLY LETTING ME COME HERE???

THIS IS GONNA BE GREAT, MUN!!! IS BEC GONNA BE HERE TOO??? WHAT ABOUT JASPERS AND QUINN??? AND THE BIG BRO AND LIL BRO FROM THE UNIVERSE WHERE THEY AREN'T PUPPETS??? THIS IS SO EXCITING!!!

ACTUALLY I'M A LITTLE NERVOUS... WHAT IF NOBODY LIKES ME??? WHAT IF THEY THINK I'M WEIRD??? I'M STILL WEARING MY MAKE-UP AND EVERYTHING!!!

[Breathe, Cal. Breathe.]

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[That looks an awful lot like...]

Aren't you enthusiastic? That's a good way to be, if you want to be around this place.

[Was that a- Yes, that sounded like a compliment. Cal grins widely.]

YOU REALLY THINK SO??? THAT'S GOOD!!! I'M GLAD!!!

I MEAN... HI!!!

I'm sure people will like you Cal.

People here seem pretty alright, I even got to talk to Big Bro and he's just as excited to meet you as you are to meet him.

[Tori can't help but laugh. This kid is cute.]

Hello to you too. [Another laugh, shorter.] The name's Tori.

CUZ!!!

[At least there's already one familiar face around here. Hang on while Cal switches from typing quirk to a normal indoor voice through the power of mildly fourth wall influences.]

That Big Bro's played by my mun too, so I can't meet him here... But I hear there's more of him around!

IT'S NICE TO MEET YOU, TORI!!! I'M CAL!!!

[And instead of holding his hand out for a shake, Cal's holding his fist out for a fistbump. Fistbumps are the best greeting for Striders in any universe.]

Huh I guess my mun convinced them to take a look at our world or something.

Yeah from what my mun said Big Bro and Little Bro are pretty popular here as humans.

Of course they are! I mean, Big Bro is the coolest one, of course- [Duh.] but you can't have Big Bro without Lil Bro! They come as a radical package.

whoa

[Oh gosh it's Lil Bro! ... Err. Oh. Cal's not sure if he's supposed to get excited over this or not. Is human Dave just as big of a douche as puppet Dave? Only one way to find out.

That look of excitement Cal just had for a split second is replaced by a look of semi-nonchalant exasperation.]

We meet again, Lil Bro.

no no no hold up

wait a minute

_{[Let Dave get his head wrapped around the fact that his puppet brother is not a puppet for half a minute here.]}

where the hell is the blue damn fairy

because this is some pinocchio shit right here

_{[He's actually pretty damn glad to see the little guy after so long, actually. He just doesn't know where to begin with expressing it.]}

Hee hee haa haa! [Cal just kind of throws his head back, both hands on his hips as he laughs in that eerie manner of his.]

Still a wise guy, I see! Don't tell me your mun didn't explain other universes to you!

oh no i get the alternate realities thing just fine

i just

fuck dude you are one goofy little bastard even when youre people

[Well. Well. That settles that. Definitely still a douche even when not a puppet.]

Who're you calling a goofy little bastard, pal?! You're just jealous Big Bro likes me best!

psh yeah okay dude

_{[Cue the international gesture for blowjob!

This is how Striders communicate, clearly.]}

[DAVE YOU ARE DRUNK AND OUT OF CONTROL!

Two can play at this game. Cal promptly flips him the bird, eyes narrowed into a dangerous glare.]

_{[Oh, that look is plenty reciprocated, pal. Except you can't tell because FUCKAWESOME SHADES.]}

_{[But he can't hold it for long. Incoming manly bro hug because holy shit dude he really fucking missed you. You little shit.]}

[Whoah. What is going on Cal doesn't even. For the first few seconds, he just kind of freezes because he despises surprise hugs. Granted, they usually come from the creepy kid next door. Cal cuddles with his puppets all the time, so maybe this is sort of like hugging Lil Bro? Not that he gave Lil Bro many hugs to begin with. It was usually Big Bro. ...Okay, now he's putting too much thought into this.

He'll just... awkwardly pat Dave's shoulder. Yes, this is good. He's got this.]

_{[Sure, Dave could easily admit that he had a pretty strained relationship with Cal... if someone were to put merit in a relationship with a puppet as a thing that people could have. He usually didn't try to think about it too hard, himself. But he grew up with this guy. This guy was a rock of stability for him. Even if he was from a different reality where suddenly puppets were people and shit like that.

He slipped away after a moment and stood back.]}

hey sorry i got all that emotion all over you dude

nothing personal but i havent seen my cal in a long damn time and it sucks some serious taint you know

god i really hope you arent in the game

youre not in the game are you

The game? What game? [There's so much talk of 'games' in this place, he's not making the connection to the game he's going to play with Bec and the others.]

Did I just lose it? I swear, if you made me lose the fucking game...!

heh i did but that is completely beside the point

no man theres a game in my reality okay and it is crazy whack fucking

i dont even have the words

it destroys the world okay and i mean fucking meteors bomb the city and if you dont do it right you fucking die

and thats the easy shit before all the death and mayhem

it isnt even a fucking joke dude i am not even playing around with this armageddon fucking shit twisting asspounding fuckoff game

if its in your reality

and im telling you this as your brother

the only way to survive is to play right and to not fuck around

[Cal frowns, tilting his head slightly. Armageddon meteor game? If Lil Bro's warning him about it, it must be bad.]

That does sound crazy whack! Almost like you're making it up. Bit late for April Fools, so I'm gonna take the bait. What's this game called?

sburb

but the foreign kids have a different name for it so i dont know dude

it looks like a house sim at first and needs someone to be the player and someone else to be the server host

_{[Sigh, he can't believe it himself, Cal. It's so fucking outlandish that he can't even figure out a reasonable explanation without it sounding fucking crazy.

He pops some juice out of his sylladex and takes a seat against a wall.]}

i wouldnt fuck with you about this cal

i know ive made up some crazy shit in the past and i know i lie to you like

eighty five

eighty six percent of the time

but im not pulling your leg

_{[This kind of hunched over, defeated look he's got going? Not an act. He's kind of thinking back to the beginning, to Bro going after Bec Noir.]}

bro died dude

at least on our reality he did

[Cal's brain already began to crash at the word "Sburb", but it's only further downhill from there. There's no way Dave is lying about this, but that just makes it so much worse.]

Big Bro's dead? Because of Sburb? But... It's just a fucking video game!

_{[He shook his head.]}

its more than that dude its

its really fucking complicated but it serves as a catalyst to create a new universe

_{[Hey, who's got two thumbs, apple juice, and is still hung up on thinking about Bro? THIS Dave.]}

but like i said man if you dont play it youll die

and if you do play it and you fuck around cal

youll still die

and if you do everything perfect

...

look cal im sorry

But... But we haven't really started playing it yet! I haven't installed the files yet or anything, so I can just tell Bec and the others not to play either, right?

[Because as much as Cal was looking forward to playing this game with his friends, it clearly isn't worth it. Nobody should have to die over this.]

that wont stop others from playing it and bombing the world with meteors

if the game exists in your version of reality the only real way someone can survive through it is to play a successful session of it

if youre in a doomed session of it though oh my fucking god cal

no seriously this is just the worst goddamn game

okay you know what i think im fucking done even paying attention to this utter bullshit right now

its been four fucking years since we started dealing with this bullshit

longer for me because i can fucking manipulate time like a pro

but right now i think i deserve a fucking break from flipping out about it

_{[Dave defiantly sips his juice and looks at Cal.]}

so what the fuck dude are we puppets in your world or whats the deal here

you said bec is your friend that means jade is real there too

[Wow Dave, dropping a bomb like that on Cal and then refusing to talk about it further? Well fine, then. Maybe Cal didn't want to talk about it anymore either! He'll just find his own way of coping with Sburb.]

Jade? You mean Bec's dog? [He frowns. That's a pretty weird thing to ask about.]

nah man bec is jades dog in my reality

kinda like how you are bro and mine little puppet brother you know

man okay so if were puppets and jade is a dog

that makes rose a cat

aaaaaand im lost with egbert

[Huh. Rose is a cat, so that means Jaspers is a cat in Dave's universe? That's so weird. Jaspers is way too neat and dapper to be a cat. He'd be the snootiest cat ever.]

You mean Quinn? She doesn't have any pets, just a lot of dolls. Her favorite's named John! [Cal and Quinn can have endless discussions about dolls, plushies and puppets. It's another one of their mutual interests, alongside roleplaying.]

hahaha wow

john is going to flip all of his shit when he finds out in some permutation of reality hes a doll

i dont know any quinn though dude i mean at least he never said anything about a quinn to me

maybe that was the name he gave his stupid pogo ride

_{[He grabs another juice box out of his sylladex and tosses it to Cal.]}

so listen when you get into the game just try to keep your shit together

and this is going to sound weird as shit right now but if you have recurring dreams about a place with a checkerboard field and castles and shit you need to make sure to stay awake there because thatll come in handy in the future

if you arent awake in derse or prospit when you die you die altogether

goodnight sweet puppet prince

[By now, Cal's getting a little sick of all the male nouns like dude, man and prince. He knows he can't really blame Dave for it- he's just another one of those people who doesn't get it, but... Hngh, why can't these sort of things just be universally understood without Cal having to say something about it? That'd make his life so much easier.

He catches the juice box with one hand and gives it an idle stare, but doesn't open it just yet.]

Lil Bro, sounds to me like you got in way over your head. And I mean way way. When my friends and me play this game, we're gonna team up like pieces of a radical jigsaw puzzle and beat the shit out of it.

[This coming from the kid who's actually going to play a failed session of Sburb and is still worried sick about his friends.]

_{[It's unfortunate that Cal was letting Dave continue riling him up, though. He'd be the last person to continue fucking with someone's gendered nouns if asked, but nobody considers asking him. He'd get it, but nobody really gives Dave that kind of benefit of the doubt. Assumptions all around yay!

He doesn't even notice what he's doing wrong.]}

im not out of my depth

but ill hope you and your pals get through it all right dude

im rooting for you

look at me all fucking cheerleading and shit for cal

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Voicetest | Canon is Guidestuck!

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The quirk is a-okay /o/

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Whoop!

Oh hey xD

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