In which the mun apologizes profusely for opening the OC box

[misandrist4lyfe]

Nice drawings, Picasso. I've been up here what, ten years now? You still haven't memorized what my face looks like? I'll haunt your dreams if I have to, I don't care. Get it right.

Miss Fancy pants "I got an Art Degree but don't ask me to draw faces or hands or anything".

Stop looking at me like I'm the bad guy here, I'm not the hack with a ball point pen and a sheet of copy paper now am I? This is as good a pep talk as you're gonna get. Yeah you go back to watching your crappy monster TV shows. I'll still be here when you get back. Fuckin' waiting.

Comments

[thneed_ler]

Do you think all mundanes are like that about art? 'Cause I haven't met one yet who thinks they're anything but talentless.

'Course, they're all wrong, but hey. Modesty's supposed to be a virtue...

[misandrist4lyfe]

They do it to fish for compliments.

[LIES]

It's true. They'll bitch and moan about how they can't draw so that everyone can tell them it's not true. It's totally an ego thing.

[thneed_ler]

You're probably right.

I mean, that's never worked for me, but I'm guessing these people have better luck than I do. Most everyone does! Ha ha.

[misandrist4lyfe]

I know I'm right. One of the benefits of being me.

I take it then you're not much of a poker player, with that kind of attitude.

[thneed_ler]

Well, I wouldn't say that, I've dabbled in poker...

[And lost. Every time. To a fish.]

But yeah, I guess I'm not incredibly lucky. Go figure.

[misandrist4lyfe]

Yeah I guess it sucks to be you.

[Look at the outpouring of care. There is just so much care here]

Well I got nothin' t'do, never knew a man to be much at poker but if you're willing to give it a shot...

[thneed_ler]

Hey, I don't... [Defensive hand movements ahoy] I don't have any money. Right now.

So if we're playin', we're playin' for free.

[misandrist4lyfe]

Don't have cash huh.

[And you aren't near attractive enough for strip poker. Also too many Y chromosomes]

Anything you can bet with?

[thneed_ler]

...No. Well-

[One moment while he hurriedly pulls out a furry pink atrocity from... presumably a back pocket. We don't question beanpole hammerspace.]

-would you play for a thneed? It can do everything you need it to do and... probably more, I dunno, no one's found a limit to its uses yet. It's really in.

[misandrist4lyfe]

.... What the hell is that thing? It looks like a dead sea animal.

[thneed_ler]

Uhh, it looks like innovation.

And it's worth $3.98. Take it or leave it.

[misandrist4lyfe]

It looks like it escaped it's observation tank.

[She reaches out to try and touch it, tugging off a glove to prod at the material]

.... S'soft though, I'll give you that.

[thneed_ler]

[He'll be banking on that being the first thing you're interested in, and now he's going to play it up. Salesman's instinct.]

It's hand-sewn, it can be used as a pillow, hammock or blanket, and it also smells a little like butterfly milk. [He weighs it up and down slightly in his hand and flashes a persuasive grin.] You in?

[misandrist4lyfe]

[She's never even seen a butterfly, Oncler. Just a blank stare.]

... I'll bet what it's worth.

[thneed_ler]

Right. Three ninety-eight. [He repeats that just in case you forgot. Because it is worth that much. And is not garbage.]

You want me to go grab some cards, or...?

Who should win this nonsense?

[misandrist4lyfe]

I always have cards.

[ She slaps down three ninety eight exactly, before gesturing sharply with one hand]

Siddown. I'll deal.

my headcanon is this guy is terrible at poker so... have at it

[thneed_ler]

[He eyes the floor, then shrugs complacently and somehow manages to sit cross-legged there despite his ridiculously long legs. How he controls those things is anyone's guess.]

Alright, let's get this show on the road.

[misandrist4lyfe]

And if you cheat, I'll bite your goddamn hands off.

[And that's a promise. Without further ado, she cuts the deck and deals out each hand]

[thneed_ler]

[Nervous grin.] Cheat? As if I'd cheat, come on, man.

[There goes that not-so-subtle plan out the window.]

[misandrist4lyfe]

Yeah, nothing quite keeps folks honest like three hundred and twenty pounds of bite pressure.

[The smile vanishes as she looks at her cards, quietly going through them. Since bets were already placed, she just waits. Maybe he'll fold early]

[thneed_ler]

[He takes a second to look down at his hand and briefly flicks through what's there, then studies it closely. Oddly, he seems not to be so bad at keeping a straight face.]

[...But, boy, is he taking a long time.]

...

[A really long time.]

.......

[okay seriously]

[misandrist4lyfe]

[She waits.

And she waits.

And she waits a little more.

... Okay bro seriously now]

Shit or get off the pot.

waugh sorry i fell asleep there

[thneed_ler]

[He gives you a blank look. If he'd said that in front of a stranger, he's pretty sure his mom would magically appear just to give him an earful.]

...Al...right. Uh, call. [He's just gonna toss that pink thneed between them.]

/pats s'okay

[misandrist4lyfe]

[Better get used to it, Onceler.

She glances to the thneed, makes a face, and then tosses a quarter out onto her bet]

Raise.

[lesstalkingmorehitting]

I don't know, sounds like a pretty average pep talk to me.

[misandrist4lyfe]

No, she's bitching about how it's demoralizing. She's sensitive, you see.

[lesstalkingmorehitting]

That's what the pep talks are for, to help with the sensitivity!

[misandrist4lyfe]

Again, that's what I told her. Thick as a goddamn brick. This is why I don't bother talking to her anymore. Just one little word and suddenly it's just whining and complaining about what a dick I am.

[lesstalkingmorehitting]

...You could always give her examples of how much worse she could have it.

Boosts morale like nothing else~