Canon is Demonophobia, voicetesting rusty muse from my LJ days

[demonophobic]

G-g-game? For r-real this time?

A-as long as i-it isn't, isn't anything scary, I c-can do it. I just d-don't want to live t-through any m-more demons. But... but I w-won't just l-let what happened b-be all there is to me. I, I can do this. I c-can.

Comments

[gentleman_thief]

That is a good way of looking at it. Your pain can't define you.

[demonophobic]

I-it took a, a long t-time to see that. B-but I'm out n-now. W-we have a, a saying in J-Japan, that my grandpa t-taught me: yesterday ended last night.

[She straightens up, managing to keep a level of calm that, while still anxious by the standards of others, is leaps and bounds forward from how broken she once was.]

[gentleman_thief]

I was the same way.

[He still couldn't go near manor houses himself.]

That is a good saying though it is easier said than done.

[existastherealm]

We're always living through demons.

All the fucking time.

[demonophobic]

I-it is, b-but... with t-time, and a g-game, somewhere n-new where I, I wouldn't be alone, I th-think I can d-do it.

[Sakuri stands tall, looking him in the eyes with her baby blue ones. Though still afraid of people and things, there's something there instilled by the second version of her canon, by the hope of a better future.] If I d-don't try, to get b-better, then t-the p-people who hurt me w-win. I'm not g-going to lose w-without a fight.

[demonophobic]

N-no, I, I mean... um, i-it might sound c-crazy but I was t-tortured by a d-demon, a-and I - I'm t-trying to put i-it behind me s-since I got a-away.

[existastherealm]

Oh.

Did you go to hell? I went to hell once. It was awful. Like New Jersey, but somehow cleaner.

[The abject horror of a fourteen year old being in hell isn't registering with him because 1) Nny is a horrific sociopath and 2) it'd be nice to talk to someone about hell. For some reason. If just to compare notes since he still isn't sure if he was really in hell or not or yet again hallucinating in some insane haze.]

[demonophobic]

Y-y-yes. I sang a, a song, and a d-demon named Ritz pulled m-me down. He did th-that for o-other kids, an eight y-year old named Ren a-and a s-six year old n-named Akemi a-a-and another kid I d-didn't get the name of... t-the whole th-thing was just t-torture an-and gore.

B-but, but I'm o-out now.

[gentleman_thief]

[Despite her timidness he could tell she had determination and hope.]

As long as you keep up that fight I'm sure you will win.

[demonophobic]

Th-things are, are f-finally getting better. For e-everyone in, in my canon. We c-can't just i-ignore that. This is, this is... r-really happening. S-so even if it's s-scary and I d-don't know where I'm g-going, it'll be b-better than where I've been.

[strawberryredgrave]

Yeah, demons are a real bitch to deal with. Making it through them alive shows you're made of pretty stern stuff, at least.

[demonophobic]

O-oh, ah, th-thank you, sir. I, I'm not r-really that special, I just... g-got out. And I'd l-like to put it b-behind me.

[strawberryredgrave]

Sometimes being able to get out is something special in itself. Not everyone can keep moving when everything's falling down around them.

The best way to put that all behind you, though? Do exactly that: keep on moving. Even if whatever the hell they put you gives you nightmares for the rest of your life, you can wake up saying "You know what? I got out of that. The most they can do to me now is keep me from sleeping every so often."

[demonophobic]

...th-thanks. You're right. My, my m-mun is looking at games s-so I can go somewhere b-better. B-bad, awful, t-t-terrible things happened, but th-that was before. It's o-over now.

M-my name is Sakuri. It's n-nice to meet you. Sorry I, I keep stammering so much, um... i-it's just a h-habit after what h-happened.

[strawberryredgrave]

Dante. And try not to worry about the stutter much. Trust me: there are worse ones out there.

(Like Agnus. That guy got it real bad whenever he got spooked or excited.)

Could always try one of those really cute places or one of those really chill ones; they're more manageable than the shitfest that others are. Fair warning about the cute ones, though: muns like opposites, so they might try and mess that up. How they can mess up colorful horses is beyond me.

[demonophobic]

It's g-getting better than, than it used to b-be. I'm trying, Dante.

My m-mun was looking at t-the game with, with the p-ponies. And o-one where, um, e-everybody goes and l-lives in this r-really nice place and h-has farms, and stuff like that. But... if s-s-someone tries to mess up those p-places, I w-won't let them. I d-didn't get out o-of H-hell to sit there a-and do nothing wh-when people are doing things l-like that.

[strawberryredgrave]

All anyone can ask you is to keep trying, right? Just give it time and you'll be alright.

I'll say this, though; you probably won't be the only one trying to set things right. Anyone else who ends up in those places will want to keep it stable, so if you play nice with the other kids, you won't have to do much on your own.

Oh, and that pony place? Looks like a lot of them are getting pulled in after going through some other kinds of Hell, mostly some shitty 50's American town that tried to kill everyone. Point is: you might find someone to relate to.

[demonophobic]

I know. I, I'm not doing everything a-all alone a-anymore. But no m-matter where I g-go, I'm n-not going to be u-useless there. N-never again. I make my o-own endings now.

[strawberryredgrave]

(There's a slight nod of approval at that.)

Sounds like you've got it all figured out now. Good. All you have to do is keep that in mind as you keep going. It's not always easy, but hey: if you did it once, then you can do it again, right?

[demonophobic]

It's never b-been easy, b-but it's getting easier. I, I can do t-this whole g-game thing, now. I'm sure of it, Dante-san.

[strawberryredgrave]

Good.

(Just wait for the non-sequitur. Wait for it...)

Because those two games you might be going to? Couple things to consider:

I dunno about you, but I can't grow a plant for shit. You know in school when they make you grow lima beans and show it to the class a week later? Mine didn't even move. Pretty sure I broke it the instant I touched it.

And horses? (He scoffs.) If you get an itch on your back, good luck.

[demonophobic]

I can g-grow plants. D-don't worry, Dante-san. I-It'l be alright.

[strawberryredgrave]

Then that's something you have on me. I can kill demons, but I have the exact opposite of a green thumb.

[demonophobic]

M-maybe you, you just h-haven't found the right k-kind of plant. O-or good instructions. I, I think you could do it, i-if you tried.