because the entire cast aches for how much of a trainwreck it'd be

[nailknots]

Hold on, Merle?

Amy, I understand. You know what I'd give to see her again. Hell, even Lori couldn't mess things up too much this time around. But you want to hunt down a Merle?

You realize this is going to be a disaster, right? I don't think you get it. Merle sets foot in that city, and Daryl and Shane are going to tear out one another's throats. Is that really what you want!?

...

...

[ Tense but resigned exhale through her nose. Dryly: ] Of course it is. Why would you ever want to make things easy?

Comments

drags self up from the depths of hiatus

[survivinghell]

[Just give him a minute, okay? Because he usually gets you. He gets you, Andrea. But this? Nah, he don't get this. So, y'all got a little talkin' to do 'bout good ol' Merle Dixon, alright?]

The hell she want that douchebag in Somarium for? You tell that woman of yours that she ain't right for thinkin' that.

[nailknots]

[ DON'T LOOK AT HER, SHANE. She isn't liking it any more than you are. ]

You think I haven't been? [ But no use snapping at Shane, he's on her side here. Here, have the most sarcastic head-tilt ever to express how she feels about the fact that: ] She thinks it'll be 'fun'.

[survivinghell]

Ain't nothin' fun about bringin' that man to Somarium. Why don't she get that? One Dixon's bad enough, but two? Yeah, shit'll hit the fan real fast.

[Because, really, think back to how bad they were together at the Atlanta camp. Just think about it. Nobody liked the Dixons but the Dixons and Shane is 100% convinced that won't ever change, no matter how much everybody says Daryl's changed.]

[nailknots]

[ Hey, hold on now--] One's not so bad. [ She's actually pretty fond of Daryl, in a weird battle-buddies sort of way. Merle, though.... Merle's a whole bag of something else. ]

[survivinghell]

Nah, one's bad. Two's worse. [An eye roll along with an exasperated sigh] You know me and them don't get along.

[A pause]

What else she want, Rick to come back? Dale to come so he can be mister morality? Somethin' to make things even more uncomfortable than they already were?

[andnowistandalone]

Might I suggest finding a suitable distraction from the possible hunt? You would know your mun better than I, but my own has been raving about it almost being "Thursday" again. I've never understood the fascination with black and white versions of what one could see in colour.

[nailknots]

I guess that's where ours differ, then. Mine likes her guts and gore in all of their red-and-brown glory. [ There's a definite dry note to that. She, personally, wishes her mun weren't a fan of guts and gore in the first place. ]

[andnowistandalone]

[Noted, dully agreed with considering the elation of a marathon he'll have to endure within the week.]
These other two you've mentioned, why not have the authorities present, to keep throats intact?

[unhinging]

Nobody in their right mind would want Merle Dixon around.

[nailknots]

Rick. [ It sounds pleasantly relieved. She hasn't seen him in quite a while now.

And then she dryly relays: ] She says to look who's talking. [ Sorry, bud. Those are the mun's words, not hers. ]

[unhinging]

[ a faint smile creeps onto his lips when she says his name. ] Hey.

[ shrugging a shoulder, he fixes his gaze on the uninteresting ground beneath his feet.

merle definitely isn't somebody he wants around. the elder dixon is unpredictable, ill-tempered, volatile, and he put glenn and maggie through hell, but he's daryl's brother, and he's also kinda sorta useful.

...it's complicated, okay? ]

Well, I ain't exactly been in my right mind since -- [ Lori died. ] Uh, never mind.

[nailknots]

[ A little quieter, more genuine: ] I know. [ 'Never mind' or no, she gets it. Losing someone like that really gets to you. Crawls under your skin. You're talking to one of the people who knows that better than anyone, Rick.

It really was just her mun talking. Equal parts dry and apologetic, Andrea explains: ] She thinks she's funny. [ Spoilers: As far as Andrea's concerned, mun's not funny at all. ]

[unhinging]

[ pinching the bridge of his nose, he sighs wearily before lowering his hand. ]

So, what do you plan on doing if Merle Dixon does happen to show up?

[nailknots]

[ A chuckle of an exhale as she shakes her head, clearly a helpless gesture. ] There's really not much I can do, besides keep him from killing Shane in his sleep. [ Not that he wouldn't damn near deserve it by then--she can just about imagine how bad he'll run his mouth, if Merle shows up.

A second later, she adds: ] It'd be a hell of a lot easier with you around. [ She's just putting that out there, she knows it's not fair in the slightest to ask him to deal with anything else on top of the shit he's going through already. ]

[unhinging]

"Shane"?

[ the color completely drains from his face when he hears his best friend's name pass through andrea's lips. shane can't be alive. he stabbed him, and then his son shot his reanimated corpse.

taking a small step backwards, he blinks and rubs his tired eyes. surely he can't be cracking up again, can he? ]

Did you just say "Shane"? No. You couldn't have because...Shane's dead, so why would you...?

[nailknots]

[ ...Oh. Well, this is suddenly a lot more serious. There's a pause as she figures out how to approach it, then: ] Things... work different, here. Life and death are a little more negotiable than we're used to.

[ Andrea almost wonders if she shouldn't mention Shane again, but at this point she kind of has to. ]

My writer sent me into a city, a few months back. Carol, Daryl, Glenn... They're all there. Shane, too, but the last he remembers is letting the walkers out of that barn. [ He's a little behind, to say the least. Not that he hasn't been told how things go. ]

[unhinging]

[ her words shouldn't be difficult for him to digest, but she's talking about shane, the man he loved like a brother, the man he killed.

shaking his head from side to side, he combs his fingers through his dark, lank, unruly hair and tries to process the fact that shane walsh is apparently alive and kicking, but unfortunately he finds it hard to focus, and suddenly he's not even thinking about shane anymore. ]

Lori. [ a thin, sad smile slowly begins to form on his lips. ] Could she-- I mean, is it possible? Could she show up there? And what about Amy and Jim and Jacqui and Hershel's family?

[nailknots]

[ Amy. Of course he was going to mention Amy, but all of a sudden, this is a little bit personal for her, too.

But Lori, oh god, that opens up a whole can of mess, because: ] Lori's come and gone. [ Before he can say anything though, she continues: ] She could come back. [ As much as that'd complicate things, it's possible. ] They all could.

[unhinging]

[ the smile disappears from his lips, and a bit of color returns to his cheeks.

this is way too much for him to handle. he's been through so much and the thought of having hope only to have it ripped away from him is unbearable, so he's just going to push everything to the back of his mind, and ignore everything that he's just learned.

his life is simpler when he feels numb. ]

Right. Forget I asked.

[nailknots]

[ And she can tell it's too much, and she almost wishes she hadn't said anything to start with. This is her fault, the way he's feeling right now. So she takes a few steps forward, setting a hand on his shoulder. ]

For what it's worth, I'm sorry. For all of it. [ Even the parts that aren't hers to apologize for. ]

[unhinging]

You don't have to be.

[ the weight of the world is something he's been carrying for a long time now. it's one of the downsides to being the leader.

taking a deep breath, he glances down at her hand. surprisingly, her gentle touch is extremely comforting, and after a few seconds have passed he raises an arm and mirrors the gesture by lightly resting his hand on her shoulder. ]

I wish you'd never left the prison. [ it isn't something he planned on admitting, but the words have passed through his lips and now there's no taking them back. ] You belong with us.

[nailknots]

I had to go back. [ A realization she came to after she'd told Daryl and Hershel she couldn't go back. ] I needed to kill him myself.

[ She shakes her head a little. ] If you took him to war, innocent people were going to die. [ But even more than that, she'd trusted that son of a bitch, and he used that to use her. Every part of her wants to be the one to kill him, herself. ]

[unhinging]

I wouldn't've gunned down innocent people.

[ he may be a hell of a lot darker than he used to be, but he would never kill the living unless he absolutely had to. ]

You know I have to kill him, right? The Governor's a threat and as long as he's breathing...good people are going to die and I absolutely will not allow that to happen.

[nailknots]

Do it. I doubt I'll get another shot.

[ After a second, though, she's shaking her head. ]

You couldn't have told the difference, though, between innocents and soldiers. Not when they're all shooting at you and yours.

[unhinging]

Oh, I will. The Governor's a dead man walking.

[ truthfully, he's been beating himself up about not gunning the governor down during the meeting that she set up, but then again, if he did had a bullet in the governor's skull then he could've lost hershel, daryl and andrea as a result, and that just wasn't an option. ]

I-- [ sighs. ] You're right. I could've wound up killing a helluva lot of innocent people and that-- That's not who I am. [ wetting his lips, his eyes travel downwards and fix on his pistol which is currently sitting safely in the gun holster attached to his waist. more than anything he'd like to stop fighting and start living, but right now that just isn't an option. ]

I'm gonna make things right.