Spoilers~ The Miller's Daughter/Welcome to Storybrooke.

[enchantedsnow]

This is all wrong.. I never dreamed of stooping so low...- of sinking to her level.

[She's just sitting there numbly... head in her hands- desperately clinging to what little sanity she can scrape up. Coming to terms with her recent irreversible decision won't be easy. Perhaps it's won't even be possible.]

What would my mother think of me now...

[Tears flow silently. Tears of regret- remorse... But it would be a lost cause to wipe them away. Nothing can reverse what she's done..a deed so out of character. Despite the torture that Cora and Regina have ultimately caused her to endure, Snow knows in her heart that what she has done simply can not be justified.]

This is not who I am...or who I ever wished to be... What if Mother was wrong about me? Where is my "strength" now?

Comments

So sorry. /)(\

[herzlos]

Have you finally acknowledged what kind of monster you are?

[If she ever needed more conviction that she ought to have done away with Snow years ago, she definitely has it now.]

Just the woman she wanted to see...

[enchantedsnow]

[She has a strange and disturbed air about her...not even comprehending her words before they spill out. She's not the cold blooded killer that her conscience is magnifying before her, but Regina is, as always, making matters worse. Snow is in no state of mind, at the moment, for sarcasm.]

[A light shrug and a hopeless nod..]
Perhaps I have... and perhaps you've been right all of this time to resent me. So why don't you just end the torment for the both of us?

[jolting]

[she may have her Snow White memories back, but he remembers when she was just Mary Margaret. And that is what moves him to offer a handkerchief for her tears]

We are all flawed. People make mistakes, they do the wrong thing, but those things don't make you weak. It only makes you human.

[enchantedsnow]

[Doctor Whale? Yep, this makes things better. Well, right now, anything would be better than wallowing in regret...but wallow she will. Might as well take the handkerchief..]

[She shakes her head.]
Flawed, indeed. But what I've done..- this mistake.. It could never possibly be passed off as a result of my flaws. Most of those such mistakes and their consequences are forgivable.

[jolting]

[he knows about wallowing in regret. At least this way she won't have to wallow alone]

Oh, I know about doing something unforgiveable. If you wish to talk about it, I'll be here all night.

[enchantedsnow]

[That statement gets him a woeful, albeit slightly inquisitive look.]

You couldn't have possibly done something of this magnitude..

[A slight pause..]
I took part- in the murder of Regina's mother. [The words hardly got out, nor did she even hear herself speak them. The mention of the incident only cut her fragile sanity deeper.]

[jolting]

I'm sure you had your reasons. Murder is a heavy thing for anyone to carry. It places a mark on you that can never disappear. And yes, I know that from personal experience.

If you're a monster, then you're in good company. I'm just as monstrous. As is your friend Ruby, if you remember.

Why, you're fantastic. :D

[enchantedsnow]

[She never really imagined that she would share any common ground with Whale, let alone common ground of this sort.. Who would have thought?]

[She nods, hardly reassured... but she's actually sort of glad of his company.]
I would hardly call Ruby a monster. She was just..misunderstood. She never killed on purpose. It was the wolf...before she learned to control it.
I, on the other hand, have no excuse. I was thinking of the immediate danger that she posed to my family- but murder... Something else surely could have been done.

Share your story if you would like. I won't impose... I'm sure it's painful to relive.

thank you :) clearly the show needs more Whale

[jolting]

Something like what? Cora had powerful magic and she was going to kill Gold, taking all his powers as her own. I think we can all agree that Gold is the lesser of two evils. You did what had to be done to protect your family.

[he reaches to take her hand in his. What happened between them was in another life, but he still cares about her]

I defied the laws of life and death, and I couldn't control the thing I created. It killed my father right before my eyes. You may think it's not my fault, but that creature was my responsibility. I could have stopped it, and I didn't. I let my father be killed.

You're welcome~ I completely agree!

[enchantedsnow]

[She takes an inward step back, pondering this for a moment. He has a point. Maybe there wouldn't have been any other possible solution... Cora would have eventually destroyed her family ..Regina right by her side. The duo brutally murdered her childhood friend- Johanna. Maybe it was for the best..

No.

Without noticing, she reaches a hand up to her chest- over her heart. She wouldn't even try to justify the act. But nonetheless...it was done. She would have to live with it.]

Indeed...and my family is what matters the most to me- but to resort to not only taking part in Cora's murder..but tricking Regina.. I just wish...
[She glances down, managing a small smile at the gesture, squeezing his hand lightly back in acknowledgement.]

[A bit taken aback by this statement, she hardly knows what to say.]
I guess there's no changing the past.. [A pained sigh.] As much as we may wish there was.. I know you well enough to know that you're no monster. Like Ruby...you're just- misunderstood. [She offers the most encouraging smile that she can muster.]

[jolting]

[in his mind, she did what was necessary. It was the sort of choice one would make in a time of war, the sort of choices his brother probably made before his death. True the consequences will stay with her, but what she did isn't completely wrong. At least to him]

You're kind to say that, Mary Margaret. That's why you're in so much pain now: because you are kind. We can't change the past, but we can take lessons from it and move forward.

It will be difficult, and it will hurt, but if anyone can do it, it's you.

[enchantedsnow]

[Despite all of his much appreciated encouragement, the dark abyss that she now knows is slowly forming in her heart causes her silent worry...inner torment. Torment that is visibly tearing at her from the inside out.]

[Moving forward. A task so much easier said than done. Nonetheless, her hint of a smile grows slightly as she nods.]
Thank you, Doctor Whale.

Going through this, I know one thing for certain. I will not allow myself to become like them.. I want to be a person that my mother would be proud to claim as her daughter.

[jolting]

[a nod of encouragement]

It sounds to me like you're going in the right direction.

[lostswan]

Mary Margaret--

[Slight pause. She didn't exactly have anything to follow that. She's not great with the uplifting pep talks, but she's sure as hell not gonna let her sit here and stew about it forever.]

What's done is done. We'll figure it out. Okay?

T_T

[enchantedsnow]

[Oh, no need to worry, Emma. A pep talk wouldn't likely have done much good anyway.]

[She slowly lifts her head from her hands.]
What is there to figure out? I took part in the murder of Cora. Yes, maybe she did need to disappear from our lives, but not like this. I'm no better than Regina...than Cora.. [Murder. The word stung as it slipped out- Tore a hole in her heart..]

[lostswan]

We'll figure out how to deal with it.

[She knows nothing she says will help. But she has to try. She hates what Cora and Regina have done to her. What they've done to their family. And Emma can't help but think that if anyone had it coming, it was them.]

Comparing yourself to Regina and Cora isn't going to help. You're not like them. It took Cora about half a second to get past us to Gold. If you hadn't stopped her, we'd all be dead right now.

[lifes_short_pop]

I...probably would have done the same thing to someone threatening my family. No...scratch that. I have done things like that to protect my dad.

It's not the killing part. I've seen people like her before, people so twisted up by greed and power that other people's lives are just toys to them...and those are the deaths I regret the least. Neither of them were going to stop. They showed that with your friend Johanna. They showed that with the vault of hearts.

Where I do think you screwed up is in tricking one into killing the other. If you have to kill someone, you face 'em. Now, you've still got someone that still uses other people like toys and isn't going to stop short of being dead.

I'd offer my disc...or the LOL...or even a Prankster bit, but they're not going to work on your side of the screen.

Yay for long tags. :D

[enchantedsnow]

[She nods, looking up at the man with tired eyes.]
In some ways, I can almost agree. She needed to be stopped somehow, there's no denying that... But to die because of me- because of my willful use of dark magic. [Your mun has been wanting her dead for a long time, but go ahead and kick yourself over it.] What do I have to show for myself now other than a tainted heart? The "strength" in me that my mother was so proud of has faded away.

[His words stung like poison, but he spoke the truth. And like it or not, it was a truth that she would have to face.]

The sad thing is, you're right.
That's the worst part- it was the darkest thing I could have possibly done..and I managed to accomplish it.. [A deep sigh as she lets her head fall back into her hands.]

It's just the sort of twisted thing that she herself would have done...

[She nods.]
Thank you anyway. And thanks for listening..

Re: Yay for long tags. :D

[lifes_short_pop]

[He reaches out and touches her shoulder. So what if Charming kicks his ass for it? Self-preservation is not one of his long suits]

I don't know a thing about "magic." I know it works wherever you are, and seems pretty effective.

What you have to show for it is one enemy that can't hurt anyone else, and another that's howling for blood and looking for you to keep sinking. You aren't out of danger yet. The focus has to be on finding a way to nullify Her Majesty without slipping further. Guilt...isn't something you can afford until the crisis is over. Not that it's not needed, but...

You have allies. If you can't trust yourself, then trust them. Good luck.