old muse is antsy and bored. needs a home.

[supbitch]

Okay.

Alright.

Look, bitch. I am up to my dick in boredom here, and like, I "appreciate" where you wanna get me all occupied for like a week or some shit? But I want something to do. And I don't mean, like, get laid, I mean I want to fuck some shit up! Playin' hide n' seek with Titzilla ain't any fun anymore. She knows I'm in here, I know she's in here, and this shit is just gettin' old! Ask her.

No-- fuckin'-- shit, seriously, ask her. She's bored'a my ass bein' in "her space" and I'm bored'a getting my teeth kicked in every time I open my mouth!

So fuckin' put me somewhere that ain't that "love hotel" you're so fuckin' keen on settin' my ass free in.

Not very often you see a guy turn down free pussy-- and I'm not turning down free pussy, I'll have me some free pussy, trust me,-- but I wanna fuckin' wreck some shit, ya get me?

I know you get me.

You're just as fuckin' dead-ass tired as I am with me all locked up in this joint, so why don't you just let up on the reigns and shit, and I'll be on my way! Take me somewhere fun and I'll shut the fuck up!

 

Maybe.

 

Comments

[singinghuntress]

Az foul mouthed az ever I zee. Too bad your mun cannot muzzle zhat part of you~.

[supbitch]

Well, well, well! If it isn't Bitch Van Freckles herself! Where you been, sweetheart?

[furrowedofbrow]

... Charming.

[supbitch]

I fuckin' know right? I'm like the textbook goddamn definition of "classy."

[furrowedofbrow]

Quite. [Urge to raise objection rising.] What does your mundane do with you?

[Edgeworth, you really don't want to know. TRUST ME ON THIS ONE BRO.]

[singinghuntress]

Better before you opened zhat mouth of yourz. Of courze, I can zhink of vays for you to uze it zhat don't involve you speaking.

THIS COULD HAVE BEEN SO MUCH WORSE

[supbitch]

[No really, you don't want to know, Edgeworth. But guess what? YOU GET TO KNOW ANYWAY.]

I dunno, dude. I think it's because she's off her goddamn rocker and likes having like some like, violent outlet or some shit. Cos I mean, shit, do you know what I do for fun?

Do you wanna know what I do for fun? [DOESN'T EVEN PAUSE TO LET HIM ANSWER THAT QUESTION] I. Fuck. Shit. Up.

And I mean, really fuck shit up. None of this anarchy in the UK bullshit! I mean, technically, yeah, it's anarchy, and it's in the UK, but that shit is too goddamn literal. I mean I ruin people. Rapin' and pillagin' the whole way.

[supbitch]

Ohhhhhohohoho, babe, you know just what to say.

[If it weren't for his stupid beanie, you could see the eyebrow-waggling going on here.]

Talk German to me. [Gonna just stretch out all over your lap here in the least sexy way possible because he's a shit.]

[singinghuntress]

[She rolls her eyes and pushes him off her lap.]

Get off me arschloch. If you are going to lay in my lap at leazt haf zhe decency to not lay like a demented cat in heat.

[supbitch]

[But Rip, don't you understand? That's exactly what he is!

He just rolls right off her lap and backflips back into a standing position. Shame he lost his beanie in the debacle and now his hair's a fluffy mess and he doesn't give enough of a shit to do anything about it.]

Aww, c'mon, don't be like that. [He plops right back down next to her and drapes one of those long arms over her shoulders.] You know you love it.

[singinghuntress]

[She just rolls her eyes at his antics and leans against him once he's sitting back down. Admittedly, he looks a lot better with out that stupid beanie of his.]

Vhether I like it or not does not mean a zhing und you know it.

[supbitch]

[Snrk.]

Still playin' hard to get? Thought you got over that shit like twenty years ago. [Grinning like a beartrap, he tilts his head to nip at her ear all playful-like.]

[singinghuntress]

Of courze. It's vhat keeps you coming back for more~.

[Now it's her turn to smirk as he nips at her ear. Two can play at this game~. Her hand slides over his thigh before she digs her fingers into his flesh a little.]

[supbitch]

[He pauses for a second, thinking about that. Goddamnit she's totally fucking righ--]

H--Ow! [He bats at her hand, looking disgruntled.] Don't be a shit. Fuckin' cat claws. [Mumblemumblegrowl, rubbing his leg where she got him.]

[singinghuntress]

[Snickers.]

Und here I zhought you liked it rough.

[Crosses her arms and pulls away a bit. Sorry, but that smirk isn't leaving her face.]

[supbitch]

[Huff. Shut up, he totally likes it rough. BUT NOT WHEN IT SURPRISES HIM.]

Not when you shank me with your goddamn knife hands.

[Begrudgingly pulling her back against him. Nope, you're not going anywhere.]

Anyway, where you been, huh?

[singinghuntress]

[But that's the best time to be rough~. When he's least expecting it. ]

Just be glad I did not aim higher~.

[Lets him pull her back and settles against his side.]

Oh were und zhere. You should know by now I come und go az I please~.

[supbitch]

[He shrugs a shoulder.]

Yeah, yeah, you'd go straight for the gold and then I'd have to bite your face off, and fuck knows we don't want that happenin'.

[Turns a bit to face her and takes her chin between his thumb and forefinger.] Too damn pretty for that, aintcha.

[singinghuntress]

[She arches a delicate eyebrow and just smirks as he takes a hold of her.]

Of courze not~. Zhough, it vould be an interesting lead into foreplay knowing you.

[And of course she has to flash a little fang. Dangerous? Her? Of course. But that's what makes their time together so much fun.]

Pretty und dangerous~. I zuppose I haf all zhe best traits for a voman zhat can keep up vith you.

[supbitch]

[Eyebrow. She's got a good point.]

Oh yeah, add a ball-gag and hot wax and we've got ourselves a regular S&M novel, huh.

[An easy grin, and he moves in to steal a (rather rough) kiss.]

[divine_punishment]

[He's looming over you, Jan. That can't be good.]

Well, if yer lookin' for something to do I can gladly oblige.

Of course, it'll end with you carved up like a Thanksgiving turkey, but I'm certainly not complaining. It'd be an improvement really.

allow me to take this time to apologize for him

[supbitch]

[SNORT.]

Dude, don't get me wrong, I'd love to take you up on that offer? But I'd really hate to cut into your kiddy-diddlin' time! I know that shit's like, first-fuckin'-priority.

Never apologize

[divine_punishment]

[Have a bayonet thrown in your direction, Jan. It'll probably miss, since it's just a warning shot.]

Mind yer tongue, ye filthy heathen, lest I stop being so generous and decide to cut it off.

Along with your damn head.

IF YOU INSIST;;;

[supbitch]

[He stands perfectly still, but the surprise is evident in his eyes when it shoots right past his head.

Well shit, that was close.

He returns right back to grinning like a deviant.]

Heh-- wow, like I haven't heard that bullshit threat before. [Puts his hands on his face, Home Alone style.] I'm practically pissin' my pants, here!

[singinghuntress]

Only if you are zhe one vearing zhe ball-gag.

[She'll let him steal that kiss and just work to make it a battle of wills to see who can dominate who~.]

[supbitch]

[The kiss lingers for several more seconds before he realizes what exactly she just said.]

Wait-- whoa. Hold the fuck up.

Why do I have to wear the gag?

[singinghuntress]

[She was wondering if you would question that.]

Because you are zhe one of uz zhat cannot keep zheir mouth shut.

[supbitch]

[He would have said so sooner, but he was busy diggin' this babe here. But now he just looks annoyed.]

I dunno 'the fuck you're talkin' about. I'm quiet as a motherfuckin' churchmouse. You're the one that's always moanin' an' cryin' about shit.

[singinghuntress]

Bullshit. Bezides, if I am zhe one vith zhe ball gag, how iz your cock going to fit in my mouth.

[Annoyed or not, she has a point.]