Voicetesting, oh so nervous.

[coconut_and_metal]

So you finally decided to do this, huh? Well, I'm only a slight AU, and I'm me, so I'm sure you'll have a ton of places on you to app me, but just in case your stunning foresight and planning fail you, how about you take some time to research games? You know, so I don't end up running into the me that still drinks. We'd just be terrible influences on each other - the science would be fucking amazing, I'm pretty sure two of me could make world peace a reality with enough time and scrap metal, but I'm also pretty sure Pepper would smother one of us in our sleep. Even she can only take so many three am wake up calls via explosion. (Although, if I do say so myself, my music goes pretty well with explosions. It's like serendipity or something.)

I have no idea why totally-canon-me wasn't good enough for you. Just remember: when your inner Tony Stark tells you something is a bad idea and you do it anyway, you're not allowed to whine when the inevitable internet backdraft hits. Now where's Steve? I made a new Starkphone with an AI in it, should help him adjust a bit. And I miss Pepper. Yeah, I said it. When I'm marathoning sci-fi movies and have to actually pause to get my own coffee, it feels like something's wrong with the world.

Comments

[nstark]

So you're Tony Stark. Without the drinking, though?

-That throws Natasha off and she walks around him, eyeing him up and down-

Not bad. Drinking definitely helped with the whole dying thing, though. Well. Not helped, it did the other thing and the house was a mess but you know what I mean.

-there's a glow in her own chest settled right above her breasts-

Could've been worse.

[coconut_and_metal]

Actually I did fall off the wagon for that. In my defense, I was dying. [He tugs down the edges of his sleeves as she eyes him, quirking an eyebrow at her.] I'm going to try hard not to stare at your chest, but if I do, for once I'm honestly not doing it to check you out. I'm just trying really hard not to picture Yinsen seeing my - well, your, boobs.

[nstark]

Stare all you want. It's nothing the internet hasn't seen before. Or Playboy. Maxim. Penthouse.

-At the mention of Yinsen, she's closed off and backs a little to stand in front of him-

What can I say? Yinsen's got gentle hands. And the shrapnel didn't hit deep in the boob region, but a little higher on the chest, so don't you worry about the good doctor playing with my more fun assets.

-There's a wry smile-

[coconut_and_metal]

You know, I kind of make it a point to keep the reactor covered up. Glowing isn't really sexy outside of certain websites and Japan.

...you miss him too, don't you? [Tony has Yinsen feels. He doesn't particularly like it, but it's just sort of a fact.] My mun was going to play him, then she decided she was tired of working hard at characters she loved and not getting tags. And voila, here I am. Bandwagon jumping is go.

[therealgenius]

I'm sure Potts would be extremely pleased to hear you say that the reason you want her is to play gopher when you watch crappy movies.

You must be paying her out the ass to take that kind of degradation.

[coconut_and_metal]

Oh, yay. It's my least favorite person. And I happen to work best with background noise. Pepper gets that. Unlike you, she's pretty quick on the uptake.

[therealgenius]

Just because someone's paid to put up with your shit and has been doing it for years doesn't mean they're quick on the uptake. It means they've learned your habits and adjust accordingly to keep their income steady.

Unless that's how you think friendship works, but not even you could be that oblivious.

[coconut_and_metal]

Actually, she figured it out in three days. Not years. She's a lot better than you give her credit for.

[matryoshkas]

[ staring.

you think pepper is the only one who would smother you in your sleep, stark? ]

[coconut_and_metal]

Don't give me that look. For once, I haven't done anything to actually deserve it yet.

[like_a_gerbil]

[Well, Tony did ask...]

There's nothing wrong with getting your own coffee, Tony.

[And Steve is going to ignore what makes this Stark different than the ones he normally talks with. For now.]

[coconut_and_metal]

If I could make it without things blowing up, yes, in theory I agree with you. But have you ever seen me in anything resembling a kitchen? It's not pretty, Cap. I don't have granite countertops because they're expensive, I have them because scorch marks come off them easily.

[Other than the nervous habit of adjusting his sleeves, Tony isn't discernibly different from any other Tony. Or so he hopes. His universe's Cap never picked up anything was wrong, or at least if he did couldn't pinpoint the topic, so Tony smiles at Steve cheekily.]

Thought you'd be happy to know there's something you can do fifty times better than me any day of the week.

[like_a_gerbil]

I figured you would've programed JARVIS to make coffee. [There's a hint of amusement and admiration in his tone. The AI and Tony's bots were some of the most amazing things he'd seen since he'd been revived, reminding him of the future he'd been thinking of when Bucky had dragged him to the fair.] Or some kind of robot that brought coffee to you.

[Steve's noticed that there's subtle differences between the Tonys he's met, but he figures different realities... different responses to the events that happened to each of them. With his Tony, he'd notice the nervous tick, but with another it'll just cause faint curiosity.]

We each have our strengths, Tony. Being able to make coffee isn't something I'm gonna gloat over.

[coconut_and_metal]

Pepper makes it better. I don't know how. It's a Pepper thing. [He shrugs.] Sure, I could have JARVIS do it, but I'm trying to learn how to actually do it myself. So far I've only broken three coffee makers. I'd say I'm shaping up quite nicely.

[Tony looks Steve over. There's no differences from his world's Steve that he can see, but then again, why would there be? Steve was, as far as Tony could tel, the same person even pre-serum. It makes sense that the man would be consistant throughout the multiverse.]

You can enter a kitchen and leave with something edible. I generally can't unless that something edible is toast. Or cereal. I make a damn good bowl of cereal, Cap.

[efficacy]

You say the nicest things, Mr. Stark.

[ Pepper Potts brand of sarcasm: often disguised as innocuous pleasantries. ]

Really, I'm glad that out of the host of innumerable things I manage and take care of for you, fetching coffee is the one that stands out the most.

[ ...Unless you're Tony Stark. Because any version of him will always get flak from any version of her, that's just how it goes. ]

[coconut_and_metal]

Coffee and sandwiches. They just taste better when you get them. It's like you have everything I like memorized. I can't even make anything that compares.

[Tony's highest compliment: comparing you to technology. Sincerely.]

[efficacy]

That could be because I do have everything you like memorized, Tony. Part and parcel of being your PA for several years.

[ That actually is a rare compliment, which is recognized and rewarded with a smile - even if it is over something as mundane as coffee and sandwiches. ]

[coconut_and_metal]

You know, I had PAs before you. They never memorized things like that. Good help is hard to find. Or build, as Dum-E proves on a daily basis.

[fe_male]

[ .................... Staring. Just... Staring. ]

[coconut_and_metal]

What?

[fe_male]

'Slight'?

[coconut_and_metal]

Compared to vampire-me or hooker-me or the serial killer version of me I've seen? I'm positively normal.

[istillbelieveinheroes]

[this is days old but hey, it took SHIELD a moment to investigate this different universes Stark, okay? Self harm over drinking, Stark? Really? None the less, he's curious, so Agent is popping up]

You would be interested in facing yourself in another worlds setting, wouldn't you? Though I'm not sure what world could handle two Tony Starks.

[coconut_and_metal]

Coulson, everyone would at least be interested in seeing how they turned out in another world. It's fascinating and we can do it here without risking the integrity of the time-space continuum. This is a scientist's dream.

Don't tell me you don't want to see AU!yous. God, this is a grammar nightmare. Shoulda brought JARVIS. Is he here, by the way?

[istillbelieveinheroes]

I've ran into AU!Me's before. A little more shapely and a bit more hair. I liked them, but I'll stick to being the only one of my kind in my haunted little house for now.

I've ran into a few JARVIS as well. Physical and... not. Still trying to figure out who is to blame for the... one with the skirt. [comments on that carefully.]