RIDDLER? MORE LIKE RUDELER.

[deciphering]

Feeling the pressure already, kiddo? Utterly unsurprising, but I can’t really blame you. God forbid if our positions were reversed, this would be the point where I’d start squirming, too.

Guess this answers what an irritating child has in common with a skeleton – neither of you have any guts. Try hitting me up when you get some, then we’ll talk shop.

[edward nigma: dick for hire, ladies and gentlemen.]

Comments

[escarabajo]

Okay, man--that was terrible. Even for me.

[deciphering]

Did I ask for your opinion?

[escarabajo]

If you're gonna go for witty banter, at least do it right.

Like, I've got an excuse for not being great at it, but you're a Batman villain! I thought all of you guys were pretty much pro at that stuff by now.

[deciphering]

Oh there's no doubt that I am, but villain isn't the right word you're looking for here.

But you're right on one account - you do have an excuse. Remind me again, what's the extent of your powers again? Do you have the mental facilities of a beetle, too?

[escarabajo]

Okay, okay. Anti-hero? That sounds weird. For you, I mean. [He looks too geeky for that. Sorry Eddie, a nerd knows a nerd.]

Wow. Super-intelligent alien AI scarab, thank you very much.

[subject: EDWARD NIGMA = has attitude, suggest "correction"]

You're lucky I can keep him in line. I think he wants to space laser you.

[NEGATIVE; plasma cannon more efficient]

[deciphering]

[evidently Tony Daniels felt the same way, too.]

Please. Some of you flip-flop between extremes so often that I've stopped caring where your loyalties lie. Why am I the weird exception? [it's because he's not ripped like Superman, isn't it? be honest.]

Really. [nooooot unnerved. nope, nope, nope.] Does it take much effort?

[escarabajo]

Well.... [Jaime trails off. yeah it's because he's too skinny, but mama reyes taught him to be POLITE okay] I dunno, you just don't look. Dark and broody enough, I guess. You dress too snappy--you might need to, um, look a little more gruff or something.

[25 issues of effort 8|] Ssssort of. We've reached an agreement, though, so it's a lot better than it was.

[teamwork (ask before explosions)]

It hasn't been a problem for a while now, and I wouldn't hurt someone for no good reason.

[deciphering]

Just say it: you want me to be like Batman. [he's onto you, kid. he's got your number.]

Famous last words. Maybe it's just a kid thing, but you people need to work on the whole "tempting fate" schtick, too.

[escarabajo]

Nnnnnnn--yyyeah, pretty much. [did babs give it to you]

The opportunity to screw up has come and gone more times than you can count. The Scarab's changed, and I'm going to trust that much, whether you want to or not.

[The Scarab chirps appreciatively in Jaime's head. thanks, human bro ;;]

[deciphering]

Do you really want me running around dressed like him? Keep in mind I'd have to mimic that ostentatious growl he calls a voice, too. Consider that carefully before you answer.

Have it your way, I just don't want to deal with another murder case. It's not like I don't have a stack of those to deal with every morning. Do you know how cramped my hand gets? [the only crime worse than murder is paperwork, jsyk.]

[escarabajo]

[Jaime snorts.] Don't hurt your throat there, dude.

Paperwork will be the least of your problems if the Scarab goes nuts. Which it won't. But, uh, why do you have to do paperwork? I haven't had to do any of that. [Nor does he ever WANT to. Homework is enough.] Are you working with the police, or something?

[deciphering]

How else am I supposed to convey my inner anguish? [sheesh.]

They benefit from my services, yes, but I'm primarily freelance.

[escarabajo]

You can perch on rooftops and jump through skylights! Or you can write sad poetry or something, which might be way less dangerous.

So a consulting detective kinda thing, huh. [Wow. Never thought he'd be comparing the Riddler to Sherlock Holmes, but here he is.]

...Er, I'm sorry about the villain thing, by the way--there's a lot of, y'know, us to keep track of.

[deciphering]

And much more stupid. I agree. [still, the idea of learning parkour is pretty appealing. note to self: look into classes.]

…Yeah, there is. Like I said, I’ve stopped keeping track. [and although he doesn’t want to admit it, he can’t help but feel a surge of pride –real pride, tinged not with arrogance but honest-to-god enthusiasm – at the way Jaime says that: us. even if it’s not quite what the kid has in mind, Eddie likes the implication it’s bringing all the same, the sense of belonging.] Don’t worry about it. You’re not the first person who’s had a hard time believing it, and I’m positive you won’t be the last.

[but he doesn’t sound at all bent out of shape about it. he shrugs, raising his palms.]

Doesn’t matter. The only thing better than having all the answers is defying expectations.

[escarabajo]

I know now, though; I won't forget.

[he smiles a little, relieved that Eddie's not offended; he, of all people, doesn't want to be the one to judge. everybody deserves a second chance, after all.]

I get that, too. You can't pick your lot in life, but you do get to pick what you do with it, right?