Voice testing. Homeless for the time being.

[battlebutler]

Mundane.

Mere words cannot express my gratitude for your honoring me with this endeavor. While I understand you are currently pressed for time, do note that those who are best prepared can best serve their moments of inspiration. That said, I will see to it myself that any and all necessary precautions are met before the end of your week. You've my word.

Rest well, milord.

Comments

[annoys]

[Oh. Wow. He's even more boring than Oswin--she never thought she'd see the day, really. Serra is just going to stare and carefully evaluate him, circling him like a predatory cat, until she decides to speak up for real.]

Mmm... hm.

[battlebutler]

[Boring? That's entirely subjective! There is absolutely nothing boring about picking up twigs and pebbles ensuring the safety of the lives around you, redecorating tents with naked pictures improving morale, and starting fires campfires.]

Well met, young lady. How may I be of help to you?

[Even though he's standing tall and straight, and with his hands clasped together at the small of his back, he's a little on edge.]

[panne]

You seem to be taking this rather well.

[battlebutler]

I am merely doing whatever I can to better serve my Mundane. It is a most honorable duty.

[That he takes very seriously. Like everything else, really.]

[panne]

Serving them? We're merely being played with. I do not sit well with being seen as a play thing.

[plegiancurses]

[ Oh who's this? Frederik alone, without Tharja's love, the Shepard's Tactician Robin anywhere nearby. A shame, really. ]

My mun says I should talk to you, but if you try to make me do any more exercises I will curse you into next week.

[battlebutler]

Exercises ensure that our bodies are ready -- that we are both physically and mentally prepared for whatever misfortunes the fates may place in our path.

[You don't want to be caught unaware, Tharja, do you? Do you?]

There is no need for the cursing, young lady. Your efforts are better put to use elsewhere.

[Like exercising.]

[plegiancurses]

I would rather be stabbed, quartered and eaten by a dragon than exercise with you!

[ She's making sure to keep some distance between the two of them. As much as she actually likes him (though she will never admit that) she doesn't trust him. ]

I already cursed Noire three times today, I think if I do any more she might die.

[battlebutler]

[There's no need to be so tsun. Frederick will remain oblivious.]

The exaggerations are unnecessary, Tharja, surely you would not --

[Then the thought finally occurs to him.]

...you purposefully curse your own children?

[plegiancurses]

[ Tharja just laughs evilly, covering her mouth with her hand. Truly she is a villain. ]

Who better to test my newest creations? Unless you'd like to take her place.. I can see into your heart that you would do anything to help out an ally, wouldn't you? [ She's really a bad person..gotta keep that image up somehow! ]

[battlebutler]

I respectfully decline, both for the sake of my pride and my duties as a knight. While you are correct in your hypothesis in that I am honorbound to assist my allies, ultimately my body belongs to the Halidom of Ylisse.

[In other words, no.]

[plegiancurses]

Fine. [ N-Not that she wanted to spend time with you anyways! ] Why do Knights care so much about honor anyways?

Oh. My mun told me to tell you to look at mallowhallow. You might like to know the rest of the Shepherds are gathering there.

[battlebutler]

[Oh yeah? Well, it's not like there was a sliver of curiosity within him anyway. So there!]

Many thanks. I shall inform milord Mundane of this...place, post-haste.

[exalter]

You truly are a knight of honor, Frederick.

[battlebutler]

Exists there another type, milady?

[Have a bow and a little smile, Lucina.]

[exalter]

Unfortunately, yes. But hopefully one day it won't.

[ Have a light bow in return. ]

Kyaa, so popular desu.

[twitchyswordhand]

Ho!...

[...Mom's not here, right? Right. Cool.]

'Tis the steward knight, sentinel of my kin's kingdom. Do wayward days await you in the future or do you believe fate's hand has further designs upon your time?

Iyaaa~n ///// Senpai noticed me

[battlebutler]

...

[On the one hand, he can appreciate this one's enthusiasm and apparent esteem for, well, anything. It's so rare nowadays, sadly. But on the other, he has a feeling there's an underlying layer of mockery there. Or maybe he's just paranoid. What with being dubious of everyone and everything and all.]

T'would be my very undoing if my actions were to ever be deemed...wayward. A knight has his oath. To deviate would dishonor both myself and those I have sworn to serve.

[In other words, shit ain't going down. NOT ON HIS WATCH.]

Sparkle sparkle cue the cherry blossoms and the dramatic close-ups.

[twitchyswordhand]

[What, no! His intent is as pure as the driven snow and other metaphors along similar lines that probably involve justice and heroics and some grandiloquence scattered here and there, sprouting up like efflorescent bits of greenery amongst the rest of the...uh, mundane bits of grass and crap.]

Ah, yes. I should have known that a knight such as yourself would find a way to stay true to his oath regardless of his circumstances. [There is a pause here. It's pretty pregnant as pauses go. (unsure), bro. (unsure). He'd rather ask Mom or Uncle Chrom but they're not around.] Er, do you...have a moment? I could use some advice.

[So damn heroic. Owain's already regretting not describing the ebb and flow of sand upon the beach of time instead of just asking if the dude's got a sec.

Next time.]

Hair flowing in the gentle breeze!

[battlebutler]

[Just stick to fields of green and gold with an endless sky of blue above. You're at eleven, bro. We need you at three. Maybe four.]

Advice? Certainly. How can I assist you, young man? What is it that you need?

[HE WILL DO EVERYTHING TO HELP.]

[twitchyswordhand]

[No way! He didn't choose the melodramatic life. The melodramatic life chose him. Can't be tamed.

Anyway. Ahem.]

Hark, consider this situation we are in! Herein we interact in a realm in which time and tide can crash o'er the unwary, dragging them into the depths with ease. I've seen many a familiar face, but...

[Where the poop's his Mom? And...Dad, but that's a huge question mark. Who's his father? No one knows. How does a person deal with Schrodinger's Father, in which a ton of dudes could be him, at least until someone opens up the metaphorical box and finds out the results of the paternity test.]

...have you any thoughts on how one might scour the place in search of someone in particular?

[battlebutler]

[Sorry, there is no Maury Povich around to settle your paternal issues, Owain.

Frederick looks thoughtful for a moment before he shrugs deceptively broad shoulders.]

Most investigations of this nature suggest starting with questioning and espying those that are closest to the subject, then carefully branching out of his, or her, inner circle.

[Of course, that can be difficult in of itself, depending on the subject. But since we're speaking in general terms here, why not?]

There is also the matter of simply investigating the subject's last known whereabouts.

[twitchyswordhand]

[You know, considering the Dr Phils you'd think there'd be at least one kicking around somewhere.]

And if that isn't possible? [Gods, if it were that simple they could've all just joined forces around chapter 9 to save his Aunt Emm and the game would've been at least two years and 150% shorter. There's swimsuit omakes, man. Swimsuits and sunshine.] I thought that blood would call to blood but it seems a lot harder than that.

[vaike]

[ He has his hand raised and then.. ]

The Vaike has nothing.

[battlebutler]

Perhaps The Vaike ought to busy himself with preparations for his Mundane?

[Is that sarcasm or is he being serious? The world may never know.]

[vaike]

Teach is always prepared. Always!

[battlebutler]

And yet, you have nothing. You said so yourself...

[Judging you so hard right now.]

[vaike]

...at least I'm not drawing naked pictures of Chrom.

[ HA. PWNED BY TEACH ]

[battlebutler]

Have your duties with the Shepherds left you starved for such validation that you resort to childish tactics? Perhaps extra work is in order.

[It was a poster for morale. MORALE.]

[vaike]

But, you still did it.

[ And that was all that matters! The likeness was uncanny, by the way ]

[twitchyswordhand]

[Gods. You know, considering that he grew up idolizing the entire damn lot of you this is like...innocence-shattering in terms of revelations. Uncle Chrom the porn star.

...

Uncle Chrom, just what did you do. What other dark secrets hide in your past?]

[vaike]

[ THIS DOES NOW LOWER TEACH'S AWESOMENESS ]

[headbanging]

Do those precautions include the eighteen thousand seven hundred forty-two pebbles you've collected since we've met?

[Morgan, why are you keeping track of this. And Frederick, did you really pick that many pebbles up and out of everyone else's way?]

[battlebutler]

[No.

He picked up eighteen thousand seven hundred forty-three pebbles and half as many twigs. You blinked, Morgan. Frederick appreciates your vigilance so he won't give a hard time.]

Of course. Someone could have tripped over them. We mustn't neglect to survey our surroundings for any potential dangers.

[headbanging]

[Oh, darn, she didn't even notice the twigs. Must've been while she was asleep or busy trying to get the better of Robin.]

But they're all really small! It'd be hard to trip on things like that by accident! [Which means...!] Do you think the others would try to trip on them on purpose?

[battlebutler]

Hard, yes, but not impossible. A theory lurks about that these pebbles, the very ones you deem really small, are what cause Lady Sumia's stumbles. But if you believe they are on purpose...

[Chin-stroke. Hmm...

Naaah.]

Be that as it may, I do not want to risk it. If I am not careful, such accidents might spread.

[headbanging]

I don't actually think so myself, but I'm saying it's a possibility. [A really odd possibility.]

I haven't seen anyone actually trip on them yet, though. [Excluding Sumia's occasional spills, assuming that Frederick the Wary is onto something with this theory of his.] Even before you get to them.

[battlebutler]

[A really odd possibility is still a possibility. And Frederick the Wary will do whatever it takes to prevent it. Whatever. It. Takes.]

One can argue I've drastically reduced the probability with my countermeasures.

[headbanging]

[There's a pause before Morgan laughs and claps her hands together.]

Can't argue with that! [Taking an already-miniscule probably and lowering it to almost zero is a pretty drastic reduction!]

Keep it up, Frederick, I'm sure it's appreciated! [Or some of the others might just think you have OCD. Either-or!]

[boltaxe]

I'm certain your words of thanks have not gone unheard, Frederick. If only all could have such an agreeable relationship with their "mundane"!

[battlebutler]

Your words are as reassuring as they are divine, Libra.

[boltaxe]

Oh, nothing so prestigious as divine, I'm afraid. Only sincere.