Dusting off an OLD muse.

[so_sew_me]

H-Huh? You're going to play ME again. R-Really? I mean, it's been a while, hasn't it? Wasn't I, like, the second character you played?

What... Nono! Noooooo... I don't want you to make me return to my headspace! It's way dark in there and I'm pretty sure I smelled a dead rat I'm totally fine out here! Heh. It would be nice to actually go out and see my friends again. So, um, hopefully the places you'll send me will have them. You are going to send me to a place where they are, right?

W-What do you mean you aren't sure???

Comments

[niepokonany]

Sometimes it's, like, not that bad to go somewhere without your friends? I mean. Especially if it's one of those AU places?

Like at first I was all "ohmigod, there's gonna be nothing but strangers, this is gonna suck" but I guess... a lot of them actually weren't that bad and stuff! Some of them are even cool enough to hang out with me.

I still wish she'd put me somewhere with Liet, though...

[so_sew_me]

Well... yeah, that's true. But...

...mmm...

...I just had my first real friends. I'm not sure how confident I am that I'd be able to make more friends.

We went through a lot, you know?

[niepokonany]

Ok! So like, you did it before, so no problem, right? You can just totally do it again!

[It's not like he only has a couple of friends in canon and clings to them like crazy, nothing like that, nope!]

[so_sew_me]

Hehe...

...I sure wish I had your confidence.

[niepokonany]

Well, duh, I'm confident, who wouldn't wanna hang with me? You've just gotta think that way about yourself, too!

[so_sew_me]

Hey, now! Don't push it! You don't want to be arrogant!

Um...

...do you think you can teach it?

[niepokonany]

[He could teach you, but he'd have to charge.]

Ok, so here's the thing--you have to like yourself enough that it doesn't matter if anybody else does or not! That way if people are dicks to you, you know it's their problem, and if they don't suck, awesome!

[so_sew_me]

Oh... well... um...

...that might be a problem.

[whitefeather]

I hope you find them, Shiki.

[Normally there would be a little more snark in that, but...]

[so_sew_me]

Oh, well, thanks, um...

[so_sew_me]

W-Wait! You're the kid that shot Neku at the end of day 3!

[Not the greatest first impression to go off of, but there it is.]

[whitefeather]

[ Definitely not. But hey. He needed a Proxy. Neku was perfect. And everyone learned something and turned out better people and all that crap.]

Don't think on it, hm?

[so_sew_me]

You're... Joshua, right?

[whitefeather]

[Since she won't remember this in any game she goes into, much less the Reaper's Game...]

Yes.
...Details really are important to you, hm?

[He did watch week 1 quite closely from the RG, so he saw a lot of her growing up. ...and the button on Neku's shorts freakout. But it seems she's still obsessive over details. After all, why else would she be so concerned with what he's called?]

[so_sew_me]

[But you see...]

Well, yes, but... you're not really a detail. I mean, Neku told us a lot about you and the week you spent together. A lot of itBut he also said that, in the end, you were his partner and that in spite of everything you did that he trusted you.

And that should we ever meet you that we should...

...um...

...hit you really hard.

[In the fabric of life, there are buttons and there are grand designs. A name may be a detail, but the nature of the weave gives that name importance.]

[whitefeather]

[If he could laugh, he would. Neku wouldn't understand that in the end, even though Joshua technically won the game, he lost. Entertaining as it was to watch everything and everyone destroyed - each reaper - harriers - even Megumi, and knowing Hanekoma is never, ever, ever going to come back from facing up to his crimes to the Higher Plane, all he has left is the eerie calm of the Rubicon. Nothing, and no-one.

Infinite loneliness. And Neku wouldn't know. Shiki wouldn't know. They didn't know him while he was alive. He doesn't do well with it. ]

Then he still doesn't understand everything. You can try if you want, though this form won't allow you to. In fact, don't try. You might get hurt.

[And he's not saying that out of arrogance. She just might, and he wouldn't even have to do anything.]

...Or you can just tell him you did. I'm sure that'd work.

[so_sew_me]

W-Well... Beat was all for it, but.

...mm...

Trust isn't a word that Neku uses lightly, you know?

And besides, after we gave you the punch and you were going to yell at us and call us all sorts of annoying things that will make us hate you...

...he told us to invite you back at Hachiko, if... er... if you ever want to be with us.

[She smiles and though she was completely nervous up until now, this one that she offers is earnest and sincere. A glimpse of her true self in the fiction that she is right now.]

[whitefeather]

... Oh, I know. Believe me, I know.

Neku- all of you- changed enough to win and deserve a second chance, but none of you are finished changing just yet. You'll all continue to grow. All the Game did for you was cause you to lose your complexes. Building on them is up to you. I'm sure you'll all manage it.

[Her account at what would happen is hilarious. Just about as hilarious as them thinking he can join them at Hachiko. The fact she's being earnest makes him not snort, though. If anything, he's always saw her true self and not Eri's body. The progress she made, Neku-being-a-proxy-and-being-in-week-two-by-default or not would have caused her to win week 1.]

...I'll pass, thanks. Too much water under the bridge, if you get my meaning.
Anyway. Where are you headed?

1/2

[so_sew_me]

Are you sure? You seem a bit lonely, to me...

[Leave it to Shiki to offhandedly observe the most crucial of details.]

...well, if that is what you want.

2/2

[so_sew_me]

Um... my player says the place that I might be going to is a space station called the Thor in a game called gargleblasted. I think it's supposed to be aliens and stuff?

I think there's supposed to be a Neku there.

But... mm... my player also said something about me going to soul_campaign, too. But I guess their last round was last week? I don't get it, but it sounds important.

[whitefeather]

There's way too many things to do. Taboo noise don't clear themselves, and I'm down by a couple of hundred reapers. Shibuya's UG is in no way ready to perform it's function in this state. As much as I'd like to slack...

[That's his excuse, anyway. Partially true, but he's missing the quite enormous fact that he needs a replacement angel to oversee the Game. And when him/her comes, it's confirmation that the only one he's ever trusted is destroyed. He'll never, ever, ever admit it - but that'll take some adjusting to. Hence not voicing it. There's also the fact that he's derailed their lives quite enough already.]

Sounds fun.

[so_sew_me]

...I hope that means fun in the real sense and not in the sense that the Reaper's Game is fun.

[Since he brought up the Reapers and Noise...]

[She's quite worried about the fluidity she has seen him use these words.]

[whitefeather]

Actual fun. Living people fun. You know, the same way living people think shopping, sitting by a dog statue and stuffing yourself with crepes in Shibuya is fun. And you know... With Neku at Gargleblasted, you know he'll look after you. ...In his own way, since psychs are definitely out.

[He senses it. With his ESP, he's been privy to all of her thoughts for quite a while. sry, not sry.]

The Game is needed. Modern times have completely erased all concept of Darwinism. The strong are supposed to survive, the weak are supposed to die out, so a species - or a society can improve itself and constantly change. Since humanity has no actual way for Survival of the Fittest to happen, dominant species and all that, death happens to anyone at random. Fixing a malfunctioning electrical device and getting it wrong. Car crash.

[Shoutout to Neku!]
Murder.

Those which can help society advance by getting over themselves win the Game. Those which hinder it through not being able to lose their pity party lose, and are removed. Without the Game, thousands of people worth a damn, which can offer society something and have the conviction to pull it off don't get second chances. Even with humans, second chances are seldom wasted.

[Sadly, part of him knows she won't get it- or she won't get it entirely. She's suffered through the Game.]

You don't have any reason to worry. You, Neku, Rhyme and Beat will never come back to the UG. You can live your lives quite freely.

1/2

[so_sew_me]

I... um... hmm...

[If you are reading her thoughts, Joshua, then you can see the images that she's thinking that is refuting that statement. Constructed thoughts broken only by the pieces that find forming the whole difficult: the problem that she has always had. The idea of Darwinism, survival of the fittest, and the like. Her thoughts go to Eri, to Neku, to Beat and Rhyme. Her memories are of their struggles and experiences. They're overwhelmed and tired, but above everything else, they are together through it all. She seems all this and is thinking This isn't the way it has to be. We all aren't any more or less deserving of life than anybody else. Sure, accidents happen, but was it really so accidental that we were all there when we needed each other? I'm not so sure.]

I'm not so sure. [After all that, it's the only thing that she's actually able to say.]

[so_sew_me]

But... um... despite how painful it was, I want to thank you, I think. Even if it wasn't fun then... I think I can actually have more fun now than I ever did before playing the game. And... I wouldn't have that chance without you?

So yeah, thanks.

[whitefeather]

[Incidentally, he wasn't responsible for the accident that killed her. Nor was he driving the car which killed Beat and Rhyme. The only person he put in the UG was Neku, and that was for adequate reason. The friendships the lot of them made would have still been forged even if other people were in the mix.

...That's what he's learned from all of this. Everyone clashes. Everyone's important. He nods - knowing she can't see his expression.]

...

Enjoy your life, Misaki Shiki.
And thank you for the help.

[That sounds like a goodbye.]

[so_sew_me]

I'm not... going to see you again, am I?

[Even she can tell that's what he's saying.]

[whitefeather]

If you want to speak further on communities like this, then that's up to you.

...Otherwise, no.

[so_sew_me]

And I'll get hurt if I... touch you, right?

[whitefeather]

You'd probably evaporate.
I'm afraid you really won't get to make good your promise to Neku any time soon.

[so_sew_me]

[At first she looks like she seriously considers it. Or at least touches him, as a hand begins to come close, but she didn't have ESP cards for nothing... her intuition tells her that doing that is just... wrong.]

[So she withdraws. Takes a step away. You remember this don't you? It's the same look Neku had at the end of the first week. Only it's reversed this time. Joshua ascended. Shiki left behind.]

[She bends down. He won't be alone. At least if she has anything to say about it. Even if... it's a little small....]

the feels are unbelievable. ;A;

[whitefeather]

[The fact she's giving him her reason for being surprises him. But he's a being that knows she wouldn't do it for the sake of misguided obligation or pity.

...Though a thought crosses his mind. This stuffed animal might be the only thing he can allow to get close. Everything, everyone else, even Hanekoma - tried killing him.]

I'll look after it.
Thank you.

baw you messianic types, even the dumb ones ;w;

[so_sew_me]

[She turns and doesn't look back, but the drops of tears falling on the ground is unmistakable. She can't see him again. To look back... would be like risking the fate of Lot's wife. At least emotionally.]

[So she won't.]

G-Good luck out there... o-okay?