Vaguely Looking At All The Places//Voice Test

[criminalmastermind]

Jian gui, where do I start?

How about this? You can't convey sarcasm in a username. Setting aside, just for one second, the questionable nature of your humor, no one is going to understand. It's bad enough being the System's second most wanted fugitive without people thinking that I'm scheming their demise. I don't scheme! I wouldn't even know how.

Next: Why are you worried about finding me somewhere I could be 'useful?' I'm a doctor. Everyone needs doctors. Which does not mean I'm volunteering. I'm not going anywhere without River. Dong ma?

Just... just go away. Please.

Comments

[wintershepherd]

So... you're looking for scheming lessons?

[ Yes that's what he took away from it all. ]

[criminalmastermind]

No! I don't need scheming lessons. I don't scheme.

[wintershepherd]

Sarcasm lessons?

[criminalmastermind]

I definitely [Wait do or don't? Meta-sarcasm alert. What does he do.]

[Jack you have confounded Simon.]

[wintershepherd]

[ And just to be a brat, Jack changes topics. ]

Who's River? That's a pretty name.

[criminalmastermind]

[Whatever. 'Deferred Annoyance' is possibly Simon's most constant emotion.] My sister. The first most wanted fugitive in the system.

[wintershepherd]

I hope you realize that takes sibling rivalry to a whole new level.

[criminalmastermind]

It's not really we're competing for. [Even River is not that weird.]

[wintershepherd]

[ Jack sounds surprisingly kind. ]

Is there somewhere you can go where she's there too? It'd be bad to leave her behind, right?

[criminalmastermind]

That's what I'm trying to do. It would be bad to leave her alone. Very bad.

[wintershepherd]

I hope you can.

[someonetocarry]

But you'd look so good with that big handlebar mustache you wanted.

[criminalmastermind]

And yet, try as I might, I just can't manage to grow one.

[someonetocarry]

Maybe you just ain't cut out for it. Maybe you need to find some other cliche to pick up. Could get yourself a top hat, maybe, make out like Badger.

[criminalmastermind]

No. Too subtle. We want to get the across to the Jaynes of the 'verse. Maybe a moon laser?

[someonetocarry]

[She chuckles.]

Well, that sure ain't subtle. Might look like overkill. Like yer tryin' to compensate for somethin'.

1/2

[controledfreak]

[Move your cursor over the little bouncing icon for a quick translation!]

Oh, is this another one of those faces again, Doctor?

...

2/2

[controledfreak]

...wait, no. You are lying. You do not have two hearts.

[And suddenly the... thing... looks cross.]

Re: 2/2

[criminalmastermind]

I've never claimed to have two hearts. They wouldn't have given a medical degree if I did.

[controledfreak]

So, you won't say you are a Time Lord either?

[criminalmastermind]

Certainly not when I'm sober.

[controledfreak]

So what manner of being is a doctor?

[criminalmastermind]

A healer. A student of anatomy. Someone who helps people when they get sick.

[controledfreak]

What's "sick?"

[criminalmastermind]

Da nao jin shui What is sick...

When there's something wrong with someone? You know wrong? It means they're not working right.

[controledfreak]

Am I sick?

[criminalmastermind]

Wo fa biao this is ridiculous...

I don't know. I've never met, well, anything like you.

[controledfreak]

I know you are insulting me, by the way.

[Well, no she doesn't. But she's guessing.]

[criminalmastermind]

Actually, that time I was insulting me.

[controledfreak]

...

[don't worry, she's just pouting.]

[minitreiver]

You're a doctor? [Someone's very interested in that little detail. And this doctor doesn't look all creepy.] What, um... What kinda doctor? Too bad you're not a mastermind. Ya look like you'd be a nice one. Not like my boss.

River's your girlfriend?

[criminalmastermind]

I guess by now I'm more a rogue surgeon than anything.

And River's my sister.

[minitreiver]

Rogue surgeon? Ya don't... cut into people just for fun, do ya? [Now he looks a bit nervous. Because doctors can get scary sometimes.]

Oh. Yeah... I have a brother. I won't go anywhere without him. Except my mun sent me to this one game. Still hoping Lindsey'll show up there, though.

[criminalmastermind]

No. I would never. [Said with the calm authority of someone who really never would, but gets asked that just entirely too much.] I just fix the rogues after their heists. And antics. And whatever else it is rogues do.

[minitreiver]

Okay. Do... Umm... What do ya charge? As a doctor?

[criminalmastermind]

That depends what you need. [cautious.] Mostly I barter. Money and I haven't been getting along great recently.

[minitreiver]

What kinda barter? My boss's doctor likes to barter, too, but he's really creepy.

[can_see_clearly]

[Meghan's going to try not to giggle, but sorry Simon you're too amusing.]

Why would a doctor need running water? [She looks in his direction, sorry about the dead eyes man.]

[lostshepherd]

I wish I could say these folks aren't as stubborn as anyone, Doctor. [ Sympathetically. ] But I'm afraid you might just find yourself in for a long climb uphill.