Third time's the charm, meatship

[equivalent_trade]

Impeccable choice. Nothing against furballs or anything, but when you need to get the job done, I'm your alchemist.

...as long as I don't have to drink any milk.

Comments

[dragonspooker]

...you're taller than me.

One of the most infamously short guys in recent history...and you're taller than me...

[Twitch twitch twitch.]

[equivalent_trade]

[amp that volume up to MAX]

WHO'S A POND AMOEBA SO TINY YOU NEED A MICROSCOPE TO EXAMINE HIM?

[gary_golden]

Aw but boss, milk makes you strong.

[Then he pauses and with an evil grin says-]

I didn't drink my milk and look at me.

[equivalent_trade]

Milk is cow juice. I'm not drinking cow juice.

Also, you're gonna have to come out of the shadows if you want me to look at you. I don't have night vision.

[gary_golden]

Alright fine.

[He's going to walk out, but only because this is dear_mun]

[equivalent_trade]

...You need a tan.

[Also you look comically evil]

[gary_golden]

Is that all you really have to say boss?

[equivalent_trade]

You seem plenty tall enough. And you didn't drink your milk.

So yep, still not gonna drink it.

[gary_golden]

Well sure boss I'm tall enough but my teeth went to hell and my skin isn't just pale. Guys like me have to live in the sewers, you get it?

[equivalent_trade]

Actually, you don't look all that bad. I've seen a lot worse.

Besides, not drinking milk doesn't make your teeth fall out. That's citrus.

[gary_golden]

Mine haven't fallen out.

[He'd flash him the lovely mess of fangs he had.]

[exloserspromise]

What's wrong with moo juice?

[equivalent_trade]

I think that's congenital, guy.

[gary_golden]

Nope I didn't always look like this boss. I used to be Gorgeous Gary Golden.

[equivalent_trade]

It's nasty.

Seriously, think about it. Do you drink human milk? No. So why cows?

[equivalent_trade]

Fine. But even if the lack of milk demonstrably caused every single misfortune in your life, you can't generalize it to an entire population.

And I'm still not drinking it.

[gary_golden]

That's fine boss, I was pulling your leg anyway.

I'm just a vampire.

[exloserspromise]

Well no, not anymore, but cow milk tastes good! It's also not half as nasty as hot dogs using livestock intestines for casing, and yet people love hot dogs.

[He maybe shouldn't have mentioned that...]

[equivalent_trade]

Yeah, okay.

[He believes you! Okay, no he doesn't.]

[gary_golden]

Let me guess boss, you're skeptical?

[equivalent_trade]

At least intestines are meat. Milk is cow juice. It comes out of their udders when you squeeze them.

That will never not be gross.

Also, hot dogs are delicious, so don't ruin it for me.

i had to

[gonnatakeyouhome]

So tiny and cuuttee!

[dragonspooker]

[Well, well. Looks like she found a berserk button. Time to toy with it!]

You, I guess.

Re: i had to

[equivalent_trade]

[give

him

a

moment]

WHO'S SO SMALL HE'D SLIP RIGHT THROUGH A COFFEE FILTER?!

[exloserspromise]

Have you sworn off all dairy? Cheese? Butter? Cream? Yogurt? It all comes from cow juice, which is still significantly less disgusting than one of the organs that transports solid waste. I'm not trying to put you off hot dogs, I just think you're being awfully picky.