On musings about knightsoflegend

[professionalwizard]

No.

Look, I know exactly why you want to play me there, and the answer is a resounding, "You're nuts."

I've played Dungeons and Dragons, remember? The magic is completely unrealistic. In order to perform spells, I have to take into account surroundings and all sorts of little variables that the oversimplified game magic doesn't take into account!

And to add insult to inaccuracy, you're thinking of making me a Sorcerer? I don't care what the "class description" says, I'm a Wizard. That's what it says on the business card, and that's what it should say on the character sheet. Get it right.

Comments

[emptynight]

What was it your werewolf friends say, Harry? "He who kills the cheer buys the beer?"

[professionalwizard]

Somehow that always translates into me. I think I have a cheer deficiency.

[emptynight]

It's obviously all the head trauma.

[professionalwizard]

Remind me to ask the bad guys to aim lower next fight to the death.

[emptynight]

Like you talking at the bad guys ever made things better.

[professionalwizard]

I like it better. Up until the head trauma.

[emptynight]

Yeah, and then I have to come rescue your dumb ass.

[professionalwizard]

Hey, you're the big brother. It's your job.

[nothingsodivine]

Do the semantics really matter? If we call a wizard a sorcerer, do his fireballs still singe his own eyebrows off?

[professionalwizard]

See, that's what I'm talking about! No real wizard would go with fireballs as a default. They're too hard to control.

[nothingsodivine]

But everyone likes pyrotechnics, anyway. They're lasers for cheap bastards.

[professionalwizard]

Oh, don't get me wrong, fire's great. I just favor controlled blasts. So that I don't burn down more buildings than I already have.

[nothingsodivine]

I prefer the tried and true method of "aim for the kneecaps." And Smokey the Bear supports me in this.

[professionalwizard]

Also a good solution. For creatures that have kneecaps, anyway. Wouldn't have worked on the Chlorofiend.

[nothingsodivine]

I'm guessing the name's self-explanatory.

[professionalwizard]

Saying "Plant Monster" is just so... lame.

[nothingsodivine]

And calling it Treebeard is just insulting to Entkind.

[murph]

Do you hear that? What that sounds like to you? That is what every meeting I ever had with the department sounded like.

You really going there?

[professionalwizard]

No idea. She's pretty indecisive for a girl that's all but rolled my stats in her head.

[murph]

So she knows how to handle you? Not to be indelicate but you're not exactly the easiest man in the world to get a read on.

[professionalwizard]

That probably explains the indecisiveness, actually.

[murph]

Makes sense, and if she get's you wrong some of us might actually be upset.

[cordelisse]

You have NO idea what size can of worms you've just opened for my mun. The mere mention of Dungeons and Dragons and she starts getting the twisted notion that it sounds like a place she ought to check out. Has the game bookmarked and everything now.

And I'M the one most likely to get dumped there. I can only hope she hesitates enough that it never actually happens. I have ENOUGH on my plate with the involuntary dating show I've been roped into.

[professionalwizard]

Sorry I mentioned it.

Lucky for me, my mun's already got three people there. She'll probably never go past thinking about it. Probably.

[cordelisse]

I've grown rather accustomed to her tossing me wherever she thinks would be most entertaining. If it hadn't been you, someone else probably would have mentioned it. Or she would have found some OTHER game that sounded incredibly interesting.

You can only hope, I suppose. Then again, there are a lot of games out there. If it's not that one, it might be another. Or is it just the wizard/sorcerer issue with this game in particular that bothers you?

[bloodcursedseer]

Wait... there's a difference between Wizards and Sorcerers?

Though I do agree the magic's totally fake in D&D. Their symbols for trapping demons... Yeah only try them if you're some pimply faced geek who wants to die a horrible death. [Hey not that she did it, but she did work a case where some said pimply faced geek did just that. The results... Yeah not pretty.]

[professionalwizard]

Sure, they're different classes.

It's not the fakeness that bothers me, it's the ignoring of the laws of physics. I wouldn't want them to put real spells in those books. That's just asking for kids to get themselves killed. But it isn't too much to ask for a little extra math, right?

[bloodcursedseer]

Wouldn't know I've only come across Witches. And most of them gunning for my head.

[This gets a laugh from her.] You expect kids who mostly skip school to play to do extra work for their game?

[fidelacchius]

While the rules may be simplified, I'm pretty sure that's where the creativity is supposed to come into play.

[Really, she just wants you to stop complaining, Harry.]

[professionalwizard]

Creativity is no excuse for getting it wrong! [NEVER. HE WILL ALWAYS COMPLAIN.]

[fidelacchius]

Why is it wrong? Just because it's not the exact word you use in your newspaper ad?

[Because, frankly, she doesn't really seem to see a difference.]