His writer saw Warm Bodies.

[keepsthemsafe]

...You let one of those things in here and I don't care what you say or do. It will get shot in the head.

And if it keeps gettin' up. I will keep shooting it in the head.

These things are not fixable. You cannot go give one a fucking hug and love it and have everything turn out okay. It ain't a god-damned dog! They fucking eat dogs!

...You want to even think 'bout picking up one of the walkers and writing for it that's fine. I won't even be mad about it.

Just be aware it ain't going to do anything for you because it's going to keep getting shot in the head.

Comments

[soyed]

You should probably decapitate it if shooting it in the head doesn't work. [beat.] Then again, even decapitation fails.

And, walker? [What is that? And don't give him that general outdoorsman enthusiast either, the way you're talking about it... And why does he even want to know?]

[keepsthemsafe]

...I have no problem with this idea.

I could do it all day. [He's been doing that for awhile.]

Walker's the ones that get up after dying man.

[soyed]

Ah. [Zombies, easy enough.

Just what everyone needs, another devoted undead hunter-killer with a garage full of guns ready to shoot their neighbor the second some unknown pathogen is released in the air. Well, surprise, it's not going to happen that way, and it won't be a virus, or meteorites or any shit like that. It didn't happen that way. One word: spiders.]

Yeah, you look like the type who could.

[keepsthemsafe]

...Why?

[They're wrose. Those walkers] Beg pardon?

[soyed]

[Oh no they aren't. Walkers don't crawl into large orifices and proceed to turn you into their home. But that's after it takes over your mind. Well, some times.]

The way you were talking, you, uh, seem to know what you're doing. [Yes, don't piss off the big man with a gun too much.]

[keepsthemsafe]

[Shane tilts his head, studying the boy with the ease of a professional who knows when he's being mocked] I do.

[soyed]

I'm sure your group is glad to have you then. [He just can't help with that subtle sarcasm.]

[shambleprone]

[Hey, R takes offense at being called a dog-eater. He has standards!

Brains, though, are questionable, because he should know better than to shamble right out in front of the Living with a gun. Real winner here]

HI R. YOU WERE GREAT. <3

[keepsthemsafe]

[See the gun? It's instantly up.]

...Don't come any closer!

[pause] I am real sorry about what happened to you. And I get, that... [Shane looks very pained] I get what it is to want...


But you're dead!

HE WAS SOB.

[shambler]

[R is slow on the uptake - miraculously, he remembers how to surrender, veeery sluggishly putting his arms up. At least it's not the "gimme brains" pose.Although he can do that one like it's nobody's business]

Want? Dead. [He gives a groan. If there's anything he's good at, it's groaning and moaning and everything in between.] So?

Re: HE WAS SOB.

[keepsthemsafe]

[Yeah no. He can't.]

...You're dead. That's it. You had your chance.

[shambler]

[Shaking his head.] More chance. Want...more.

[Listening to him talk makes paint drying look like the Superbowl - if the Superbowl was still around.]

[keepsthemsafe]

[Shane wishes. All the same all he can think of was his own experiences] ...You're dead.

[Honestly he doesn't want to think about it because if this guy can do it. Different species but if Sophia...and all those other people...]

[shambler]

[Staring hard at him, like R is trying to focus. It's a weird conversation as far as he's concerned. He's not used to arguing who is and isn't dead. Talk about philosophical.]

[Have a shrug. It's as good as saying "and?". It hasn't occurred to the zombie to try to figure out what this man isn't saying.]

[keepsthemsafe]

...don't...Don't do that. [The shrugging] That's a human thing not a walker thing. Don't do that!

[shambler]

[Okay, so he's used to every possible variation of "Oh God, don't eat me!". This one's still new enough to make R stare. Huh!]

Human too. Why? [Take the why as you will. It's one of those apply-to-everything-whys]

[truthaftertheend]

You know, you can say 'zombie'. George Romero's estate won't sue you.

[keepsthemsafe]

Yeah, I know about that. We don't have zombies. That's why my world ended.

Writer says Romero died in a car accident so his movie was never finished in her... [he draws quotation marks in the air] head canon.

[truthaftertheend]

Thank god our Romero didn't. He died in his sleep, well after the Rising, and donated his zombie to science.

There was enough misinformation about unusual forms of rabies and flash mobs on commercial news during the Rising. Having a bunch of people say 'hey, these walking corpses act a lot like the ones from the movies' on their blogs probably helped, before Mathas broke the news embargo the CDC had up.

Granted, that also led to a bunch of people being idiots during the Rising.

[darknessb4me]

Your idea of the undead is outdated. Not everything is a ghoul.

Of course, that doesn't mean we don't want to eat you.

[keepsthemsafe]

Doesn't matter what it is.

[darknessb4me]

It does. If your planet has a full-scale infestation - tell me how that was achieved sometime, by the way - some of the undead prefer to side with the living against their more mindless counterparts.

[keepsthemsafe]

...What? are you serious?

[darknessb4me]

Yes.

It's revenge more than altruism. It turns out that people don't like being turned into zombies.

[keepsthemsafe]

Doesn't matter and there's no cure. No way of comin' back from this.

[darknessb4me]

That's why it's called revenge, not problem-solving.