[ Canon: Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters ] /mun is a derp as always

[bloody_bow]

Cute, we have matching user names.

So, what are you getting out of it? Too bad you're not a fucking witch, I'd burn your sorry ass mun.

If you can find something useful, maybe I'll consider negotiating.

[ by negotiating, she means have things run the way she wants, not the mun's ]

Comments

[bloody_gun]

I told you that interrogations are meaningless.

It's much more efficient to kill things with fire.

[bloody_bow]

Only if they don't agree to the interrogations. Then we take alternate measures as always.

I've already told you, killing humans with fire defeats the purpose of our titles as Witch Hunters Hansel.

[bloody_gun]

[pfft. It's not like they chose this life, anyway]

After getting beaten up on so much, I have no idea why you're still sticking with that view.

[bloody_bow]

[ It's not like she chose it either, but they had a reputation, and it had been their ideals for the longest time. Why change now? Though, point taken. ]

Even if the lot of them are ungrateful bastards, we're not like the things we hunt. I'm only saying to reconsider things thoroughly before making the decision to burn them. Who said I was going to sit around and let the humans walk all over us?

[ She bit the goddamn sheriff okay. It's just a logical approach. ]

[bloody_gun]

[He chuckles at that memory.]

You've done worse to other humans than that sheriff. Remember that one hunt in Gralesyde? I think treating that man as a witch would've been preferable.

[bloody_bow]

[ She makes no comment on his chuckle. She only shook her head. ]

The man had it coming, talking the way he did. He's not a professional like us, so what right did he have to treat us like shit? The important fact is that he's still alive at least. The guy in Gralesyde anyway.

[ She doesn't take well to people like that and in her defense the Sheriff got his head stomped on my Edward. Not her fault. ]

[bloody_gun]

[Too bad you couldn't break the spell on Edward with a kiss to turn him handsome.]

Nobody has that right.

[whistle]

You have no idea how glad I am that we're on the same side.

[bloody_bow]

[ She prefers Edward the way he is. He doesn't need to sparkle. That would draw too much attention. ]

That's exactly why I'm not scared to teach them a lesson or two.

l[ Whistle all ya want bro. It's the truth. ]

We promised to stay together, Hansel. We're all we have left. I wouldn't be on anyone's side but yours.

[bloody_gun]

Well, you know anybody who left the business and retired in a sunny beach resort with a sauna?

I don't.

[sigh]

Still, until then, I don't mind sticking around with you.

[Mostly so that there wouldn't have to be any more children like them.]

[bloody_bow]

If it was that easy, Hansel.

[ a look for that, but clearly it was a half serious joke on Hansel's part. ]

Nice to know you still have my back, but it's not just for us. That's why we're still in this shitty business.

[ Sarcastic tone. That's something that she could agree with her brother always. There didn't need to be anymore children who ended up like they did. They weren't goddamn heroes, but they sure as hell got the job done for what it was worth. ]

[bloody_gun]

That and it pays fairly well. Not in respect, but in gold. Sometimes.

[yeah, right.]

[bloody_bow]

You're right,the money isn't worth our dignity or pride, but it's something. They know how to pay their hunters well at least.

[ It was better than going hungry. That's for sure. It keeps things moving along, not that she ever thought of stopping any time soon. ]

[bloody_gun]

One time I swear I receive a coin with the oddest symbol on it. As if it came from a far-off land.

I assume once we visit said land that coin would come in use.

[But yeah - they'd never settle down, would they? Not that he minded for now.]

You ever think about what we'll do when we finish with the witches? Just hunt the ones that pop up, or search for other things that go bump in the night?

[bloody_bow]

What idiot gave you that coin anyway?

[ A raised brow. Some guy must have been really funny, or trying to be funny. ]

That is if we ever have to go back there to hunt witches or a vacation.

[Right, like they'll ever get a vacation. Not at all. The wild life is the best kind of life. They were always like that, but the thought was nice, one day. ]

We're good at what we do. I'm sure the residents will be happy to have their dirty work done for them if we decide to pick up other things than just witches.

[bloody_gun]

We keep on hearing about witches, but what about vampires, werewolves, goblins, that sort of thing?

[curiouser and so on and so forth]

Those seem more plausible than a vacation.

[bloody_bow]

It doesn't sound like a bad idea. It can't be that hard to try finding information about those things.

[ That's a pretty good idea you got there bro. ]

For those guys, we're going to need to make an archive on them like we did with the witches, but it is obviously more plausible. I'm sure some village somewhere will be requesting for some kind of Vampire, Werewolf, or Goblin Hunter.

[bloody_gun]

Wouldn't be nice to carry around an archive that was enough to fill a library yet lighter than a brick?

It would probably come at some catch.

[bloody_bow]

Don't we have him for that? I'm sure he's happy to carry some extra information since boy keeps up to date with everything, it's almost creepy.

[ Yes that one, the one that tagged along with them ]

Yeah if such things existed, we wouldn't need to be information hunting. There's always a catch to overly easy things like that.

[bloody_gun]

I'm starting to get flabby from not having to do the heavy lifting anymore.

[/shrugs]

[bloody_bow]

Then you can carry it Hansel and burn off some extra calories while you're at it.

[ Not even feeling bad about that comment. She loves you really, Hansel, really. ]

[bloody_gun]

[ouch. Well, he deserved it since he brought it up]

It's an investment. Once the winter hits, the insulation will be nice.

[bloody_bow]

[ Got that right. ]

Don't talk about it if you don't want to be talked about.

[ If he performed the way he was usually, then she had no qualms with it. ]

Just don't suddenly slow down on me.

[its_mine]

The mun saw you in action, today.

All those pretty, pretty wands and weapons. I wish I could take them all.

[bloody_bow]

Nice to know that more people know about us.

[ That's as polite as she'll ever get. ]

A fair warning for ya. Try taking our weapons, and I won't hesitate to turn you inside out just like those black witches.

[its_mine]

I rather do relish knowing what kind of agony those instruments could inflict, though. Having the same old torments gets very boring, you know? My flesh barely feels it, now.

It's a shame having such short-sighted witches, though. A little fire immunity won't prevent you from being blown up, buried, drowned, gutted, decapitated, quartered, or any number of other things.

[bloody_bow]

I'll make sure you feel it. You don't have to worry about that.

[ Somehow that piqued her interest, though. someone who won't feel pain even if it was inflicted? ]

When your number start going down, you can't help but get desperate. They wanted power so in the end they payed for it with their lives. They were foolish. They would have died a little less painfully if they only listened. They were also desperate for immunity than anything. Blasting their heads and taking out their hearts aren't always the way to go. They have to be burned to ensure they won't come back.

[its_mine]

It would be such fun, for a time. Just grabbing them by the hair and pulling their heads off, one-by-one. But like all things, it probably gets routine. Boredom is a fate worse than daily torture.

[bloody_bow]

Look, like I told the last guy, we didn't decide to do this job because we wanted to. If they have to be killed and tormented in a grotesque way, then so be it. It has to be efficient. Boredom isn't part of the job. If it happens it happens.

[its_mine]

Ah, but a part of you does want to, doesn't it? Just a little bit? Somewhere deep in that reptilian hind-brain? Doesn't the sound of them screaming and sizzling give you some kind of satisfaction?

[bloody_bow]

I'd by lying if I said it doesn't give me a rush once in a while, but that's beside the point. It isn't about getting a high on killing or anything like that. We're no damn heroes, but we're not that barbaric.

[ violent yes, barbaric? That was another story for another time. Compared to Hansel, at least she could be kind of polite. He'd probably tell the guy to shut up at this point. ]

[its_mine]

[He loves interesting things, and he loves new shinies, and figuring people out is always interesting.]

So you do admit a certain enjoyment in your work, where you previously said it was just a job you didn't want. Now we're getting deeper into the heart of it.

[bloody_bow]

[ Right now, Gretel had the urge to maybe punch him in the face. It wasn't the kind of satisfaction she was referring to. ]

Just because it's an unwanted job, doesn't mean that it's completely purely work. There are reasons and emotions involved. None that I will tell you beyond this, however. I think it's about time you stop interrogating about things that I do.

[its_mine]

Honestly, everyone has to get so defensive.

[bloody_bow]

Ever heard of giving people space?

[its_mine]

I never give anyone anything.

[bloody_bow]

If I shoot off your head, it's not my fault, then.