On Mundane's Reaction to Recent Episode

[mobileshipcomp]

Mundane,

Though I now understand regret, I do not regret my decision.

Comments

[adarkfallenstar]

That a machine can understand regret and its implications is fascinating.

But you...you feel different.

You don't feel like a machine.

[And he can literally sense things like that.]

[mobileshipcomp]

I have changed and grown beyond my program's parameters. There is a high probability that that is what you sense.

[adarkfallenstar]

That's definitely a possibility.

Still...you don't feel like any of the robots I have ever encountered.

This is a good thing, I take it?

[mobileshipcomp]

Yes. I believe so.

[burdenofrage]

[Though he's not the same person he used to be, having escaped much of his self loathing and anger, Razer wishes with every fiber of his being that if death truly was inescapable for one of them, that it would have claimed him instead of her. He hasn't hurt so badly since Ilana was killed.]

[And while Aya's here, now, she's lost to him in their own universe.]

Aya...

[mobileshipcomp]

[There's so much she wishes she could've said or done.]

...Razer...

[burdenofrage]

[Everything that she was becoming, everything they could have had together...gone.]

[He starts to hold one hand out to her...then finds he can do no less than pull her into an embrace. He rests his head against the side of her helmet, eyes tightly shut. One hand cups the back of her head to hold her close.]

[mobileshipcomp]

[She leans against him, the green energy of her body rippling as if the Green Light of Will itself is showing off the depths of her misery.]

[burdenofrage]

[The guilt is flooding in... He'd been so relieved to see her. She'd come back for him. Why didn't he tell her to go?]

You should have left me...

[mobileshipcomp]

I could never have done that.

[burdenofrage]

[He shifts, tilting his head down to press the front of his helm against hers. The corners of his mouth twitch in pent up pain.]

I'm so sorry, Aya... I should have told you sooner. You deserved to know. You tried to reach out to me...

[And like a fool he'd delayed meeting her halfway.]

[mobileshipcomp]

You are not entirely at fault.

[She held him tight.]

I did not understand before.

[burdenofrage]

['I don't know what I will do without you.']

[How fast will he sink back into the same rage and hate that almost destroyed him before? He fears history will repeat itself. Yet he cannot bring himself to say it... Aya did not sacrifice herself for him so that he could become a monster all over again.]

[His hand slides gently from the back of her head to her cheek as he presses his lips to her helm...]

[mobileshipcomp]

[She tilts her head up to try and catch his lips like she'd wanted to back in his old home.]

[burdenofrage]

[Razer is more than willing to oblige her, kissing her gently before he presses in a bit more, prolonging their contact. This should be one of the happiest moments he's known in a long time, yet...it is not. Regardless, he holds her possessively, almost afraid that she'll vanish at any moment.]

[mobileshipcomp]

[She doesn't move away, desperately wanting to hold on to this moment because it won't happen in their world.]

[girlfriend_beyond]

[Awww, Aya's growing and feeling stuff! But what she's feeling...]

Aya? What happened? You're not... leaving, are you?

[mobileshipcomp]

I am not leaving Nautilus. However, I have gone offline at home.

[girlfriend_beyond]

That's good, about Nautilus. But- "gone offline"? What does that mean? [Hoping that it's less severe than "killed"...]

[mobileshipcomp]

It means I have ceased to function. In biological terms, I have died.