Voice-testing?

[eradicopter]

I – I can't believe you went through with this, mundane. You know I hate being in the spotlight like this. It's bad for my health. Very, very bad for my health. You saw what happened to Steve. That could happen to me. Not that exactly of course; I'm not a car. But you know what I mean! If it isn't Megatron, it's one of the Autobots.

Just. What, memes? I don't know. Okay. Fine. So long as you swear you won't try any games. Not like you could make me go, but I really don't want to have that conversation.

I mean it.

I feel sick.

Comments

[beyondtheblueplanet]

I never knew a machine that could feel sick before.

[eradicopter]

Well. That is, I don't think it's like how you fleshies feel sick. It's like… too much static on my circuits, and a bad calibration in my gyroscopic systems. And the wrong fuel in my reservoir.

It isn't as bad as the feeling when the Wreckers start shooting, but it's uncomfortable.

[beyondtheblueplanet]

I see. So incorrect data input. I can see how that could be equivalent to feeling unwell. Have you considered an error in your diagnostic systems could be to blame? Those are difficult to find without outside input.

[A wee tiny fleshy he may be, but the boy knows his machines.

[eradicopter]

[That was unexpected. Though part of the sudden onset is his emotional response to the matter, so it could just all be in his head. Not that he's asking Knock Out for a checkup.]

You don't sound as stupid as some of the other humans I've met.

[…24601 is not good with compliments.]

[beyondtheblueplanet]

[Enay is good with receiving them though, so it evens out.]

Thanks. Robots have been taking care of me since I was born, so I've learnt to take care of them back.

[eradicopter]

Wait. What?

[beyondtheblueplanet]

[He waits a few seconds, since he was told to. And then.]

Mmhmm. The master computer Milky Way and the robots took care of my needs. I don't think you can call it 'raising me' though. [He shrugs. Not weird to him.] Who made you then?

[eradicopter]

[Humans have weird computers and robots, he thinks.]

I'm… I'm factory-built. Why?

[beyondtheblueplanet]

Curious.

[Curiosity is about 95% of his reason for doing anything.]

If you're mass produced, maybe you need some individual adjustment to make you more comfortable. Would you like me to take a look?

[eradicopter]

[DANGER WILL ROBINSON DANGER. NO SQUISHY HANDS IN THE MACHINERY.]

No. No thanks. [His rotors twitch.]

[beyondtheblueplanet]

[Probably wise. His handiwork is usually extremely effective... But super weird.]

Okay then. If you change your mind I'm happy to tinker.

[eradicopter]

No tinkering. None. Ever. Like I'd let a human work on me.

[Like he's ever met a human who offered. Weird kid.]

[beyondtheblueplanet]

...I could build a robot to do it for me?

[Of course, he doesn't quite get the objection.]

[eradicopter]

[TWITCH.]

No.

[beyondtheblueplanet]

...Looks like you have some motor errors too. Do you want me to take notes so you can get checked by someone you want to?

[He's trying to be helpful. He's like that. It's what happens when the only entities you know you have to maintain.]

[eradicopter]

They're not errors or malfunctions. You're just irritating. I said no.

[beyondtheblueplanet]

If you insist. But if you end up breaking down completely, I'll fix you anyway.

[Because how would he stop him?]

[eradicopter]

[That is SO CREEPY.]

On second thought, you might be just as stupid as other humans after all. [Why else keep poking a large flying robot with a gun for an arm?]

[beyondtheblueplanet]

[It's for his own good! A shame being fearless means you get into trouble.]

It's strange how many people can't make up their mind about that. Still...I'd rather have you up and about than as junk. So if that's stupid, I don't mind.

[flyonadog]

[Big robot, meet little robot!]

Whoa! You're one big robot, mister!

[eradicopter]

And you're… really small.

[likely2bteamkilled]

They're bringing all of the frame types out into the open now.

The organic you got is already going for the fuel line. Might want to beg a little more there's a few Lord Megatron's that appear on memes mech.

[eradicopter]

…You're kidding, right? Geeze.

[likely2bteamkilled]

I fraggin wish. This fleshbag I have is friends with another squishy that has him.

[eradicopter]

…Scrap.

[eradiconsteve]

Wait... what happened to me?

[eradicopter]

…

[AWKWARD.]

[eradiconsteve]

Did I....get a promotion? [Hopeful]

[eradicopter]

Yeah. Yeah, promotion. [As he looks the other way and rubs the back of his neck with one hand.]

[eradiconsteve]

That's wonderful! But why would you be afraid of it happening to you? More responsibility is an honor!

[eradicopter]

[Steve you are making this SO HARD.]

I'll stick to being a face in the crowd, thanks. Getting promoted is, uh. Probably bad for your health.

[eradiconsteve]

[That's what he's best at!]

How could getting closer to Commander Starscream possibly be bad for anyone's health?

[Oh, the irony.]

[eradicopter]

[STEVE. STEVE. STAHP. 24601 is so uncomfortable his rotor blades are itching.]

Given how often Starscream has Megatron's cannon pointed at him… or Megatron's fist upside his head… or – you know, I'll just leave it at that. [Mentioning the leader too many times in a negative light is also bad for one's health.]

[eradiconsteve]

[NO BUT HE JUST WANTS TO HELPFUL]

Oh, my poor Commander... [Sigh] If only I could shield him from his Master's blows.

And I suppose you could just work quietly and diligently and hope no one notices? [Primus forbid you'd slack off or be lazy instead.]

[eradicopter]

[Steve you are setting yourself up for heartbreak. Starscream's never going to love you more than he loves power probably doomed. Like you.]

That's what I do already. [Fly, shoot, fly some more, don't talk much, try not to get spotted by the enemy. Shoot again. His is a simple but tense existence.] I'm fine with that not getting me a promotion. I like my job. Mostly.

[satdownbesideher]

Aww, coming down with something?

[eradicopter]

[Oh just a mild case of panic.]

I've caught human, it looks like.