On the most recent episode... SPOILERS

[unhand]

I don't understand what's so funny. All right, there may have been a little confusion at how bloody small that gun was, but I figured it out quickly enough. And you weren't laughing then, were you?

Now all I have to do is figure out what that thing that attacked me was. You know, the monster with the glowing eyes.

Didn't do such a good job of it. I'm still alive.

Comments

[nowonder]

Rare species of dragon.

[ trolling in the deeeeep ]

[unhand]

[You jerk.]

Didn't look like a dragon.

[foundandfinding]

Better figure it out quick, cause there's lots of them here.

[unhand]

The other ones seem so harmless...

[undealt]

[NO ONE WAS LAUGHING THEN, HOOK.

TUMBLR IS HAVING A COLLECTIVE PANIC ATTACK.

YOU HAVEN'T SEEN PAIN UNTIL YOU'VE SEEN THE INTERNET.]

Well, there's a saying about cockroaches...

[STILL MAD.]

[unhand]

[A BITTER SMILE because as much as he sort of hoped to be dead by now he likes seeing Rumpelstiltskin pissed off.]

Didn't see you having any better luck.

[faithtrustdust]

[ What's that? One slightly gleeful pixie to laugh at your pain? Sure! ]

Didn't shoot yourself in the foot? You do seem to have a bit of trouble with the appendages.

[unhand]

[NO ONE ASKED YOU TINK. Killian gives her a long-suffering sigh.] My foot's one of the only things that isn't bleeding. So no.

[unspun]

I left you alone for five minutes and this is what happens.

[MOMMY'S NOT HAPPY WITH YOU, BRO.]

[unhand]

[WOW HE WAS DOING FINE.

Except being hit by a car.

And doing everything he could do to get Rumpelstiltskin to kill him.

And not actually having anything resembling a good plan after he got the cloak away.

And not being able to burn the cloak because Milah made it.

JUST. FINE.]

Don't you have a family reunion to worry about?

[theboywiththebook]

[Totally not here, but damn it, why couldn't you stay in the Forest?]

[untilmydarknessgoes]

Hey, Lethal Weapon, just a suggestion.

When something much bigger is coming at you really fast? You should probably move out of the way.

I'm just sayin'.

[unhand]

[Wow. Thanks. HELPFUL.]

I was a bit busy at the time.

[And the thing moved REALLY FAST. He didn't know tiny square dragons could be that fast.]

[childofthemoon]

They call it the karma car.

[And no, she's not going to explain it to you.]

That's what you get for messing with my friend.

[unhand]

She's better off this way.

[unvarnished]

It's called a "car". [hey, he has no horse in this race anymore so why not be actually helpful]

[unhand]

....not a dragon? [THANK YOU AUGUST. Jefferson was less than helpful.]

[untethered]

There's nothing funny about any of this. W-why would you shoot me? I've never even met you in my life. I haven't done anything to you!

[unhand]

For your own good, lass. [And more importantly, Rumpelstiltskin's own bad.] May've saved your life in the long run.

[unhappily]

You'll find working with my mother is always hazardous for one's health, in time.

[unhand]

Unless she was driving the... car, I doubt this had anything to do with her. [He's finally figured out it's not a dragon, at least.]

[makingfire]

[First you take Aurora's heart, and now you shoot Belle?

Hook, you're definitely not on her good side]

[unhand]

[Does it help that he's been beaten up by a car?]

[roust]

You know, for whose played the villain as long as you have, you're not particularly good at it. You had over thirty years to come up with a plan, didn't you?

(She's never even going to mention the glowing eyes. One good thing about being left behind? Not having to deal with crap like that)

[unhand]

At a low estimate. [It may have been about 300 years actually.] I had a plan. It just didn't work out how it was supposed to.

[theboywiththebook]

[Have Henry just glaring at you, Hook. He's just a kid but he's heard all about him from Emma and Mary Margret and he's read about him too.

But, still. He knows what he did to Archie along with Cora and he found out that Belle was hurt by this guy. As soon as things go right in his life someone has to hurt the people he cares about.]

Belle didn't do anything wrong.

[unhand]

She's better off this way, believe me. [There are no casualties too innocent in the game of manpain. In the game of manpain, you win or you cry.]

[thedarling]

[LOL. You moron.]

You abstained from overcompensating? Color me surprised.

[unhand]

I have my moments.

[SHUT UP HE'S A GENIUS HE FIGURED OUT THAT BEAN PLAN ALL BY HIMSELF.]

[hadenoughsleep]

[Aurora already thinks Hook is a raging bucket of douche -- there was that thing, with her heart? Yeah, not over it.

But wow. She didn't think he was an idiot, too.]

I knew you were a pirate but I didn't think you were a coward.

[unhand]

Coward? I'd be more than happy to fight the thing. [Except he's lying in a ditch slowly bleeding out DON'T MIND HIM.]

[uncurse]

You're right. Can't imagine what would be funny about the monster with the glowing eyes.

[unhand]

It hurt when it smashed into me.