dear_mun | Homeless for now, may eventually be headed to paradisa

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canon: resident evil

Homeless for now, may eventually be headed to paradisa

Okay, first off? You can't afford me. For anything. Second, you don't have the time even if you could. Between that other kid you're screwing around with, and school, you don't have a hell of a lot of time for anything. If I were you, I'd just forget about me for now. I've got plenty to keep me busy where I am.

Though I will admit, going someplace with no B.O.W.'s, no government agents hunting me for my blood sounds like a sweet deal. It'd be nice if there were some familiar faces, though we both know how that usually goes for you. Either way, you've got shit to do that's got nothing to do with me. Get to it.

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You know, for being someone who supposedly works for hire, you're awfully eager to give someone a pep talk. What are you, a really big guidance counselor?

Not exactly. Just figure the sooner the mun-guy gets his shit done, the sooner he might be able to send me someplace where I'm not in constant danger of death and dismemberment. I dunno about you, but if all it takes is a pep talk to get me the hell away from the B.O.W.'s and the bullshit I usually deal with, I'm happy to do it.

Pretty hard to argue with you when you put it like that. I'd rather get out on my own if I had the choice, but hey, maybe that's not an option for you wherever you're at. And what's a B.O.W., anyway?

Well, it's more that the mun-guy's just gotten back into all of this "roleplay" stuff after being out of it a while, doesn't wanna take on more than he can handle.

"B.O.W." stands for Bio-Organic Weapon. They're monsters created by pharmaceutical companies like Tricell or Umbrella, that terrorist organizations like to use for hostile takeovers and shit like that. Reanimated corpses mostly, but there's a lot worse out there too, like J'avo.

So you got called up to bat then. Man, I don't know whether that's really lucky or really unlucky for you.

I'm not following you, though. Why would a pharmacy make what's... basically biological monsters, it sounds like? Maybe drug companies are different where you're from, but where I'm from their only ambition is to get you to buy a bunch of pills. Plus, no matter where you're from, killing all your customers just sounds like bad business.

Oh, I'm used to it. You'd be surprised how often they're the same thing.

Well, Umbrella's always been pretty shady, though I guess it started out as research into trying to make it so people could live forever, or have immunity to all diseases, that sorta stuff. Just sorta spiraled out of control from there.

Zombies were just sort of a side-effect at first, but it turns out that creating a virus that can turn your average citizen into a monster is a pretty popular business for your average militant dictator. They'll never admit to it publicly, but companies like Umbrella make a lot of money that way. Then you've got guys like me, who're hired by other countries to fight the B.O.W.'s that end up getting created.

So you're.... what, some kind of mercenary then?

You can't be that hard up for money, man. I mean, as far as mortality rate goes, 'killing monsters for hire' ranks somewhere between an army grunt and guinea pig for chemical agents. Just seems kinda crazy, unless you've got some special power or ability that makes you more likely to survive than other people.

... You don't, do you?

You're a quick one, aren't you? That's right.

Well, let's just say that the reason I do it now isn't the same as it was when I started.

Actually, I do. Turns out I've got antibodies that make me immune to all the viruses and nastiness that's out there, thanks to dear old dad. Had a nasty piece of work with a big claw after me trying to catch me so that some chick can experiment on me, use my blood to make some new kind of nastiness that's even stronger than what's already out there.

Just call it a lucky guess. And it still sounds crazy, but I guess you got your reasons.

So... just so we're on the same page, you are human, right? I mean, I know you look human and all but sometimes you can never be sure, you know? Especially with a story like the one one you're telling me.

Well, it's a pretty crazy world, you know? I'm just trying make my way through it same as anyone else.

Yup. Story is my dear old dad did all sorts of experiments and shit on himself, made himself not human, but all I got from him were his antibodies.

That's pretty heavy shit, man.

If you don't mind me asking... why are you telling me all this? It's gotta be a security risk, telling someone you don't even know about this stuff. I could work for these Umbrella guys for all you know.

[He shrugs.]

If you worked for Umbrella, kid, I'd be dead or captured already. They don't mess around. As for the "why", I'm not really in the mood for hiding who I am. The government might thing keeping my identity a secret is some kinda big deal, but at this point, I don't think anyone cares all that much.

Fair point.

I guess if you're bothering to be upfront with me, I might as well do the same. I wasn't gonna mention because I don't know if you'd count me as one of those B.O.W. things or not, but the truth is... I'm not totally human either. I mean, I am, but I'm... kinda different, like you.

And no offense, but you don't really strike me as the "secret agent killer" type.

Heh, seems like everyone's got a little something extra these days. Chick who was on guard detail protecting me could heal from stuff that'd kill most people. As long as you're not trying to kill me, or someone I'm hired to keep safe, we're cool.

Maybe. Maybe not. I'm not exactly a secret agent, but I might surprise you.

I'll be straight-up with you: I take jobs from time to time, but generally if I want something I just take it. And besides, you don't seem like the kinda guy I'd want as an enemy anyway.

Heh, I've been surprised before, so I don't doubt it.

Hey, if you've got the skills to do it, who am I to tell you how to live your life?

[He smirks.]

Smart kid.

You're actually kind of an alright guy. You don't have a stick up your butt like most people, at least. Must be the whole mercenary thing.

[He sticks out his hand.]

I'm David.

I like to think so. Don't get me wrong, I like to do the right thing as much as the next guy, but it doesn't always put food on the table, and sometimes that's all that matters.

[He takes the offered hand and shakes it.]

Jake. Nice to meet ya, David.

Heh. Ain't that the truth.

[He shakes right back, but flinches when he hears the man's name.]

Your name's Jake? ... Small world.

It's easy for people to forget that, if they've never really had to work for it.

[He catches that flinch, and his curiosity is piqued.]

That's right, Jake Muller. I'm guessin' you've got some history with someone named Jake?

I was an army brat. Moved around all my life. I learned pretty early that I wasn't gonna get anything handed to me. If I wanted something, I had to go out and get it myself.

[Reluctantly he nods.]

Yeah. A guy named Jake Berenson. We're... not exactly on good terms.

[David's life sounds quite a bit like Jake's own. He'd never known his father, and his mother had gotten really sick when he was really young, which is why Jake ended up turning to mercenary work, to pay for the medications and doctor visits she needed. He couldn't say why he continued after she died, other than that it was really all he knew.]

Sounds a bit like how I grew up.

[He shrugs.]

Hey, it happens. I've got a few people on my shit list, too. Of course, there's a time for that sorta stuff, if you've got other shit going on.

[It'd been a bit different for David because his father had been alive. But not much - he'd hardly ever been around, and when he was, he'd given him nothing but disapproval. That's why he'd started getting into trouble - first shoplifting, then burglary and late-night carjackings with friends - because if he couldn't please the man, then he'd displease him so much that he had to take notice. Of course, now he's dead. Maybe if David had known they were going to die the way they did, he wouldn't have been such a little shit all those years.]

Yeah. I kinda figured. You've got that look.

[You can always tell someone who's grown up rough from someone who hasn't, he's found.]

It's not really so much about that. I mean, yeah, I've got other stuff going on too, but if I could take him out I would. It's just that he's got a team. Six against one isn't great odds, especially not when they can all do everything I can.

Misery loves company, right?

[Jake had never really given it much thought, but he could appreciate the irony.]

Eh, sometimes it's better that way. I had a chance to take out the guy who killed my old man, but...in a twisted sorta way he ended up doing me a favor. Turns out, he and I are in the same business, and he was trying to keep my old man from destroying the world. I wanted to hate him, but we both had bigger things to take care of first.

Heh. Something like that.

[Given the choice, David's always preferred to hang with people who'd grown up like him. The rich, the spoiled and pampered... there's a bone-deep resentment for them there, though not one he's always aware of.]

Your old man... tried to destroy the world? [Give him some time to process that, Jake.] What was he, some kind of super-terrorist?

Something like that, yeah. He was a scientist, one of the founders of Umbrella. Had a virus he called "Uroboros" that he was gonna use to kill most of the earth's population, and the few left behind would be some kind of evolved master race, or some stupid shit like that.

[The people who'd kidnapped him had told him all about his father's contributions to society. How he'd been a moron for trying to destroy everything as he had.]

This guy who killed my old man, Chris, he's part of some government agency called the B.S.A.A., that fights B.O.W.'s all over the world, same as I do.

Man. And I thought I had a fucked up family.

[He's heard some pretty rough stories before, but he's pretty sure 'My dad tried to wipe out the human race' has gotta win some kind of award or something.]

So with this Chris guy... are you still gonna kill him? Because he iced your old man, but from what you're telling me, even you don't think that was really a bad thing.

No shit, right?

[He shakes his head.]

To tell the truth, I don't even know. Part of me wants to kill him for denying me the pleasure of taking down my old man myself, but at the same time, I guess Chris and my old man had some kind of beef that stretched back a long time, so for him, taking down my old man was just as much personal as it was just doing his job.

I don't know, man. That's pretty heavy. Sounds like some real bad shit would've gone down if he hadn't killed him. Guess he could've captured him, but hell, he probably didn't even know you were on the radar then.

[He folds his arms.]

Guess it's probably personal between you and him too, but if you need backup, I'd be up for it. I'm no secret agent, but what I can do just about makes up for it. And if you decide you do wanna kill this guy, I've got no problem with that. Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do.

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Homeless for now, may eventually be headed to paradisa

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