Ahh young Buffy, so innocent.

[the_prophecy_girl]

Wait...you're saying in the future I do what? With who?

Oh god, I think I need to bleach my brain, is that a thing yet? The bleaching with the brain and the bad things go bye bye?

I need Giles. Giles is good with the head stuff, he can like hypnotize me and make it gone. Where is Giles?

Comments

[idolstolemylook]

Oh you mean that thing with Mr. Broodypants?

Yeah, that was a thing. Poor you. Can't imagine how you suffered. Oh, wait. Don't have to.

[the_prophecy_girl]

[Ok see the stepping back? The slightly widening of the eyes? Yeah this was back when you were a real threat.]

Angel isn't broody! He just has this epic tall, dark mysterious..ok yeah so he broods. And that isn't what I was talking about!

[idolstolemylook]

[Spike rolls his eyes.]

Okay, then who? Parker? Riley? Christ, can't imagine how you lasted once with that wanker.

[the_prophecy_girl]

....Who are these people?

[Umm yeah Buff, I may have left out a few details.]

Do I just lose all my standards when I grow up? I though he, [rough gesture toward Blondie there.] was bad enough.

We are so talking about my future later.

Great, now I've become my mother.

[idolstolemylook]

[Arms folded.]

You never had it so good as with me, Slayer.

Well.

Then again, could've been better. Circumstances. That is.

[the_prophecy_girl]

You are obviously using some new meaning of the word good that I have never heard before.

With you? Circumstances must have been imminent death and end of the world.

[idolstolemylook]

Christ, you're young. Were you ever this young? Was I ever that young?

[the_prophecy_girl]

Uhhh yeah. Just because I'm a teenager and you have been bloodsucking since before my mother's mother's mother was around doesn't even remotely give you the right to lecture me.

Cause...bloodsucking..hello.

[idolstolemylook]

I'm not lecturing you. I'm marveling at how much you've left to learn.

[the_prophecy_girl]

Speaking of which, I have a mountain of homework, the Everest of homework. I may need a Sherpa for this.

[idolstolemylook]

Thought that was what Willow was for.

[the_prophecy_girl]

She helps me, but she won't do it for me. I've even offered to pay her but she has this whole thing about morals and ethics and...ethics..god I have an essay in that. Anyway, Will says I have to know this stuff on my own for test and personal growth or something.

[idolstolemylook]

I'd do it for you.

Except it's boring, so I won't. I just mean the moral thing wouldn't get in my way.

[the_prophecy_girl]

[What the hell? That's actually...kinda sweet. It must be mind control! Or magic, it could be magic.]

Ok this whole nice vampire thing? It's freakin me out. I think I am actually more comfortable when you're threatening me.

[idolstolemylook]

Hmm. You say that now...

[bigbad]

Talking about me, are you?

[the_prophecy_girl]

NO!

Maybe.

yes.

I just can't ...I mean...you...and me! It's like square peg, round hole, doesn't work without a lot of hammering.

Oh god tell me I did not just say that. Spontaneous combustion can't happen from humiliation, right?

[bigbad]

[SPIKE'S PEG IS NOT SQUARE THANK YOU VERY MUCH. But there was definitely a lot of hammering. He smirks a bit and shows remarkable amounts of tact in not blurting that out.]

A lot can change in a few short years. We're not the same people we were.

And it was bloody good hammering. If you were wondering.

[Okay the tact thing was a lie he doesn't know the meaning of the word.]

[the_prophecy_girl]

OH GOD! I can't hear this!

[She looks like she might just lose her lunch, but it's hard to say with the way she's got her hands covering her ears and signing to herself.]

[bigbad]

[He rolls his eyes.]

Lucky for me I'm so confident in my abilities. You've never been particularly easy on my ego, have you?

[the_prophecy_girl]

I don't want to be easy on your anything. I don't know what kind of major brain damage future me had, but there is no way I would ever want your confident hands on me. This is so wiggins, I just can't even deal.

[bigbad]

Would it help if I told you I've got a soul now? [He just... didn't when the actual sex took place.]

[the_prophecy_girl]

How could that possibly help? I [her voice drops to a hushed whisper.] have sex with a guy who has tried to kill both me and my boy-- my friends on multiple occasions. I turn into a total loser.

[bigbad]

[He steps in a little closer, though he keeps enough distance as not to startle her. She's got one hell of a punch.]

Rot. I know exactly how bad I was. I'll never say you shouldn't hate me for it. [She doesn't in the future, and that's far more than Spike's ever deserved. More than he could ask of her.]

But don't you think for a moment that any of that could touch you. Doesn't matter what we did. You're bloody amazing, Slayer. I could never touch that.

[So..... there's a small chance it was a bit more than just sex.]

[the_prophecy_girl]

Was? You expect me to believe you've changes your stripes? Sorry Tony, that's not so Grrrrrreat.

I am getting hints of my future and I don't like it. Parts of it are ok, but a lot of it is all nightmares and dreamscapes time.

[bigbad]

Wish I could tell you you're wrong, but... [He shakes his head. Being the Slayer comes with a whole lot of sacrifice.] There are good bits too. Anyone tell you yet that you've got a sister?

[the_prophecy_girl]

Yeah, sure they tell you it's all glamor and parties but then there's the staking and the grass stains on all your best white pants.

[Sarcasm is one of her particular slayer powers.]

No, no one has said anything about...a s-what?

[bigbad]

That's why I never bother with white pants.

[That and it totally goes against his ~look.~]

Her name's Dawn. She's... a long story.

[the_prophecy_girl]

Yeah, well it doesn't exactly work with the whole Captain Monochrome thing.

Please tell me mom adopts some poor deserving orphan or something. I don't want to think about my folks making with the nasty and either of them having another kid.

[bigbad]

It's... neither of those. It's a whole magic thing. Like I said, long story.

[the_prophecy_girl]

I have a magic sister? Is this better or worse than that pet rick with the pink mohawk?

[bigbad]

It's better than it sounds, really.

[the_prophecy_girl]

It'd have to be because magic sisters popping up in life is a little bit weird, in a life already jammed with weird. I have weird preserves.

[hart_or_hand]

At least you didn't sign your soul away for a penthouse suite and a six digit salary like your ex did, the Eurotrash vampire. After all his lecturing and preaching about being a hero.

[the_prophecy_girl]

Umm ok...I don't care who you think you are with your broad shoulders and manly stubble and hair that practically begs to be touched. You can't just go around saying things like...I'm sorry..what did you say again?

[Distracted Buffy is distracted, curse your rough and rugged hotness!]

[hart_or_hand]

[Okay, she certainly has some issues. Now he's feeling kind of dirty because she's a kid. That's just wrong.]

I said your current boyfriend sells his soul for a penthouse suite and a six figure salary. And gets his friends killed. Not to mention betraying people he asks for help.

[the_prophecy_girl]

[It explains so much about her dating history really. Not that she's a bad kid but...her attractions are not the best. Blame Lothos really, he messed with her head.]

Angel? Sold his soul? Got his friends killed? Lives in a penthouse? So not the guy that I know, are you sure we're talking about the same Angel?

[hart_or_hand]

Angel, formerly known as Angelus, Darla's childe, vampire with a soul, macho guy with a girl's name. Yes, the same Angel. Oh, he and Darla had a kid together.

[the_prophecy_girl]

Ok, so same guy. But, that just so doesn't sound like him...from what I know and ....whoa whoa whoa...a kid?

[hart_or_hand]

Maybe you don't know him as well as you think. Or maybe he's changed since you knew him. He was a hero once. Before he sold out. [Yes, he knows Angel was only signing on with Wolfram and Hart to find a way to destroy them and he knows Connor was another piece of the picture but the guy still sold out and he still changed because of it. Not that he'd ever liked Lindsey but he figures he earned part of that. Angel's betrayal, though? That stings. Lindsey could look over the rest if it weren't for that.]

Yeah, his name's Connor. He's a good kid.

[consultmybooks]

[Oh, Buffy. Giles misses the days when you actually thought that way.

And good god, you really must be young if you'd actually trust him with hypnotizing or otherwise incapacitating you in any way, shape, or form whatsoever

...good lord, he feels old just looking at her.]

Future knowledge is, um, certainly a problematic issue.

Believe it or not, your...[...]...association with Spike might not actually be the worst of it. Really, um, it's difficult to avoid all around.