Voice testing Dad from Lollipop Chainsaw!

[totaldilf]

I got no qualms about bein' here, long as Elizabeth and my baby girls are still around...

... But what the hell's a "DILF"?

And I'm gonna have to get the staple gun again, think the 'ol teste is comin' loose already.

Comments

screech

[crownless]

What the hell?

screeches back

[totaldilf]

What.

[crownless]

Hey, I asked you first!

[no, he doesn't actually know what he is expecting.]

[totaldilf]

I didn't hear you askin' me anythin', son. What are you what-the-hell-in' about?

[crownless]

First of all, old man, I'm thirty goddamn years old. Second of all, what the hell are you all doing just showing up out of the blue like this?! I don't care that you guys outsold me, I'm still the best around!

[Meanwhile, the fourth wall tumbles into cataclysmic ruin. Fine work, Mr. Touchdown.]

[totaldilf]

This goin' somewhere, junior?

[Papa Starling fully knows that the fourth walls are coming down, he's just not bothered.]

[crownless]

That's Travis! Travis Touchdown!

It's going nowhere. Unless you make it go somewhere, that is. I just want everybody--including whoever's reading this right now, to remember that I came first. And I'm still number one!

[totaldilf]

[He chuckles.]

Boy, you got a hell of a mouth. Or some kinda complex. I dunno which it is. But you go be number one all you want, I don't really give a shit.

Long as you ain't number one in summoning zombies, bigfoots, or chupacabras. 'Cause in that case I'll have to do some damage.

[crownless]

...Well, I fought a ghost once, I guess? I dunno what that counts for.

[totaldilf]

If you won it counts for something. Ghosts are tough sons of bitches.

[crownless]

Well, I'm still here, aren't I?

[totaldilf]

Then that's the good kinda somethin'.

[sanromero]

[ A W K W A R D ! ]

Uh, Mr. Starling, I'm not so sure you want to find out what a D.I.L.F is, but...if you really wanna know then just take a look at this.

[ Pressing a couple of buttons on his iPhone, Nick brings up a webpage before offering his cellphone to Gideon. ]

omg i love you immediantly

[totaldilf]

[HEY SUP Gideon more-or-less accepts Nick now, but his girls are still his girls. He takes his phone and looks the page over.]

... Oh. So that's what it means. Juliet said it was 'Dad I'd like to...' somethin'. ['Friend on Facebook', she said, but he forgot.]

ilu2. papa starling is my favorite <3

[sanromero]

[ Nick brings a hand up to his mouth to stop himself from chuckling at Gideon's reaction. ]

It's a totally disgusting phrase, sir.

hell yes, I couldn't decide if I wanted to rp him or juliet. probably both eventually.

[totaldilf]

Says the tongue dude. [EYEBROW RAISE anyway] Hell, I'm flattered, but Liz's been the only one for me for a long time goin' now, and that ain't changin'.

do itttttttttt!

[sanromero]

[ Nick shifts uncomfortably. Damn Juliet for praising his aweome/limber tongue in front of her father! ]

I admire your loyalty, sir. More men should be like you.

[totaldilf]

You suckin' up again, boy?

[... ugh you know what whatever he really has accepted nick now so believe it or not he's trying to be nicer but juliet's still his little girl, man. and he's still daddy.]

Yeah, well. You best be the same with my Juliet, 'cause it's a damn sad thing that a lot of men ain't.

[sanromero]

Yes-- Wait. No, sir. I am definitely not sucking up.

[ Look, Nick is going to keep calling him "sir" and he's also going to keep choosing his words very carefully because he wants to keep proving that he is the right guy for Juliet. ]

I'll never leave or hurt her. Juliet is, like, the coolest chick ever. I mean, she's totally hot gorgeous and smart and funny and...I love her, sir. I always will.

[totaldilf]

[WORKS FOR HIM, he actually does like all the 'sir's. Also congrats Nick you actually got Gideon to smile.]

Good to hear, son.

[see see he's doing a lot better with the boyfriend thing.]

[sanromero]

So, I was, um, thinking that because I have a body again maybe you could, you know, teach me a few moves? I'd like to be prepared just in case there's another outbreak of the undead.

[ Basically, he wants to learn how to kick ass so he doesn't end up being a useless, bodyless, jock again. ]

[totaldilf]

Teach ya a few things, huh? [Pause.] Sure, kid. What do you wanna know? I got a shitload of tricks you can do with your fists.

[sanromero]

[ Have a grin. ]

I wanna know how to be total badass like Jackie Chan and Jason Statham.

wait, better idea

[totaldilf]

Then for starters, whaddaya know so far? C'mon, show me what ya got.

[sanromero]

[ He scratches his head. ]

Well, I know how to give wedgies, stuff kids into garbage cans, tackle guys twice my size and I know how to do a back flip.

[totaldilf]

Son, that's kid's stuff. Lemme see how you punch.

[He's standing there with his arms at his sides, implying Nick could punch him.

In his sick rock-hard finely sculpted abs.]

[sanromero]

[ Standing shoulder width apart, Nick makes a fist and draws his arm back before throwing at punch at Gideon. ]

[totaldilf]

[0 DAMAGE

In proper ridic Suda51 style, Gideon doesn't even flinch.]

Yeah, looks like we're gonna have to work on that.

[sanromero]

[ Boy, does Nick feel like a total pussy. ]

[ Shrugging a shoulder he rubs his knuckles and nods a few times. ]

How?

[totaldilf]

[u are boy

u are

ANYWAY]

First off we better work on how you hit.