Will be first of the lastvoyages Camelot kids to update; debating how much to tell them.

[takeyouapart]

You know as well as I that it does no good to know the future - illuminating one path only does more to ensure that it will be the path taken. There is no force strong enough to cast aside the weight of destiny. Arthur --

[...]

Arthur accepted that before I could.

I would sooner make a liar of myself all over again than tell them what I have seen come to pass. They have work to do, all of them; I cannot burden them with this. I will not.

All I want is to go back and earn my safety until he needs me again. However long it takes.

I will not fail him a second time.

Comments

sry Iris dgaf about your canon

[routemistress]

Just get your scrawny arse back 'ere, jug-ears, you made little Cass cry.

[youwillgotohell]

[The implication that he failed Arthur a first time is making Christmas for her. B(]

I'm sure he'd thank you for more lies.

[inimicus]

Perhaps you should. Before someone else does.

[takeyouapart]

Are you threatening me, Mordred?

[inimicus]

What of it, if I am?

[likes_the_odds]

You didn't fail him, Merlin.

[takeyouapart]

I do not fear you.

[After all, the worst thing you could possibly do? You've already done it.]

[inimicus]

You should. And will. I know your weak points, Emrys.

[Small smile. Not like he can't do it again.]

[takeyouapart]

[Yes well. Things Morgana Fails At: not being shanked with Excalibur.]

I don't need his gratitude.

[Also thinking about Arthur thanking him for anything is kind of making him want to curl up into a ball right now.]

[wedonot]

I'm sorry, Merlin.

[takeyouapart]

I was the only one who could possibly have saved him, yet still he fell.

[He's in a strange place right now. A part of him has accepted that King Arthur was destined to die at Mordred's hand, that the moment he rode out to Camlann there was no stopping it...

...but he let his best friend die in his arms, and the other part of him can't accept that it was inevitable.]

[likes_the_odds]

He doesn't blame you. I blame myself, but you only have to look at my previous mun post to see that.

This is a hard thing, but you're the strongest person I know.

[takeyouapart]

Thank you, Charles.

I'm sorry that my absence will take my memories of our friendship. I'm assured it will not last.

[takeyouapart]

That means a lot, coming from a friend of Percival.

[Yes okay a tiny bleak joke, sometimes he can't help himself. And he can't fully accept the compliment, when it feels like he's come to the end of a long road and doesn't know how he can keep walking.]

It wasn't your fault, Gwaine.

[likes_the_odds]

It's a different kind of strength, Merlin.

[He grins.]

I'm pretty sure I showed up here to cheer you up, not the other way around.

My failure is something I'll have to deal with.

[takeyouapart]

Your time is over, Mordred. Your destiny has been fulfilled. If I do see you again, it will not be in a place where it is wise for you to pursue old grudges.

If you threaten anyone I love, I will not hesitate.

[inimicus]

It will never be over, Emrys. You failed, and will keep doing so with little interference from me. I shall merely be lending a helping hand. Next time I won't be pulling any punches. You have other friends asides from Arthur, afterall.

[takeyouapart]

[He smiles but it looks like it hurts. There's no dissuading Gwaine when he's got an idea in his head; Merlin's not much better on that count.]

Then let's at least call it a burden we can both share.

[likes_the_odds]

[His smile is similarly sad. He knows how much Arthur meant to Merlin. They were friends, even if Arthur was king and Merlin was a servant.

He claps a hand on Merlin's shoulder and gives it a gentle squeeze.]

Camelot is safe and that's what matters most. I just wish I could be there for you to help you and Gwen make it great.

[takeyouapart]

And I will protect them. But I had hoped that you would have more honour than to strike out at my friends, to use them as weapons against me.

[takeyouapart]

[Another tight smile, and he sets his hand over Gwaine's arm. At this point he's not sure if it will be him and Gwen, if he will ever go back to Camelot; how can he return to her, without Arthur at his side?]

As do I, Gwaine. In you, Camelot has lost one of the finest, bravest knights it has ever known.

[inimicus]

You mean in the same way that striking someone from behind is honorable, Emrys? I am "up to date" on things. I think we can say we are past being honorable at this point.

[likes_the_odds]

[It will be hard, but Gwaine thinks Merlin will go back. He still has friends there who need him.]

Certainly it's lost one of the loudest.

[He laughs a bit. After his final moments, he doesn't feel he deserves the title of knight anymore. He failed, after all.]

[takeyouapart]

[If that's how you think he killed Morgana then you have been direly misinformed, sir. But he knows his word means nothing against hers and it's not as if it would make much difference anyway.]

If you are truly 'up to date on things' you will know that both you and Kara were given a choice. She chose Morgana's quest for vengeance, and her own death, over Camelot and mercy. I regret that you did the same. If you are given the opportunity to revisit that choice you should not waste it.

[takeyouapart]

[He laughs as well, mostly so he doesn't have to cry.]

I can't even imagine what they'll do at the Rising Sun without you keeping their coffers full.