Vampire Stiles is cool, alright?

[wolfmaster]

No offense mun, but why do you have to make me into the lamest vampire ever? I don't get any cool moves? Vampires are supposed to be all suave and graceful. Not clumsy and fumbling all over the place. Vampires are supposed to be seductive, but I'm pretty sure my single status attests to the fact that I'm gonna spend another year of high school without a girlfriend.

God, haven't you seen a single vampire movie ever? At least give me some super awesome powers! If I've got to suck blood for a living then I need something here!

I get to control werewolves? That's actually pretty awesome. So if I tell Derek to sit, does that mean he has to sit? Oh! Can I order him to roll over because that would be freaking hilarious!

Comments

[tyrant_flughude]

[Vampires, is it?]

Tch, if you're going to be a vampire, you're forgetting the most important thing of all.

[wolfmaster]

What's that? Because I'm pretty sure I covered all the bases. Then again, all my knowledge consists of tacky vampire movies and Buffy reruns.

[tyrant_flughude]

[He doesn't know what those are. But then, he's also from 400 years in the past, as well.]

It's FEAR! [The Tyrant jabs a finger in his direction, his cloak flaring dramatically.] You must be able to strike terror into humanity with but a look, or even the mere whisper of your name!

[triskeled]

Unless you're one of those stony, glittering vampires, I'll actually rip your throat for compelling me to do any of the above.

[And then there was Derek. Looking more constipated in the face than usual.]

[wolfmaster]

[He grimaces at the movie reference.

Wow.

Wait.

Hold up!]

Dude! You actually saw the Twilight movies? Because if you did I'm tweeting that all over the internet right here and now!

[Riiiight. Back to the subject at hand]

But then if you tried to rip out my throat I'd just have to compel you not to. Problem solved.

[triskeled]

[He stares at him flatly.]

Do I look like I watch Twilight? Besides, with everyone blabbering teenage girl who needs to watch them anyways?

[The retort gets another look. They're obviously going to have a problem.]

You want to put that theory to the test?

[wolfmaster]

[Another grimace]

True. I personally prefer to watch reruns of Buffy if I want to get my fix of vampire lore.

[Which explains so much about his private life]

Uh, no? Still kind of on edge from the last pair of fangs I had near my throat. Can we just mark that part of me off limits? Besides, it's not a fair fight since I don't know how to defend myself yet!

[triskeled]

Well you're certainly no vampire from Buffy.

[He says after regarding him a little more seriously.]

Keep your freaky vampire powers to yourself and you won't have to. Pretty sure I can make a few stakes if I need-- wait. Do you even know what you weaknesses are?

[wolfmaster]

Oh gee I wonder what gave that away!

[Like the fact that his face doesn't become demonic when he shows his fangs]

I dunno? Sunlight obviously is a myth, which is awful because that means I still have to go to school.

[He shrugs his shoulders nonchalantly, like he hadn't been kept up worrying about what his potential weaknesses might be]

Let's not test the stake theory though. That shit does seem to be universal in just about every vampire movie.

[triskeled]

[What a shame. Stiles might have actually been able to scare someone off. Poor kid can't catch a break.]

You should be fortunate sunlight's not a problem. Think about all the excuses you'd need to tell your father, genius.

I have to say, you've got one lousy sire. Do you even know who that is?

[wolfmaster]

[Hey, Stiles can still pack a pretty powerful bite! Not much else going for him though]

I could just say I've developed a serious allergy to sun light!

[He scoffs. His dad would believe it. Probably? Actually, nope. That wouldn't fly with his dad, but Derek didn't have to know that]

Me? Um, it's kinda fuzzy. One minute I'm following Scott through the woods and the next this total freak is on me. I don't...really know much else. Funny how my memory blurs with blood loss....

[His usual sarcasm, but there is a note of discomfort. It's still not something he wants to discuss]

Pretty sure he dined and dashed.

[triskeled]

[This face says he's considering hitting you for your stupidity, Stilinski. Derek can't even respond to it, unless you count his exasperated huffing.

As for Stiles' dry sarcasm, he makes a sound not far off from a growl.]

Seems like you got the shorter end of the stick. As did Beacon Hills, as if werewolves, hunts, and kanimas weren't enough.

[That reminds him.]

Please don't tell me you feed on blood...

[wolfmaster]

[And yet for all Derek's huffing and growling, Stiles still has that defensive 'don't hit me because I'm adorable' look on his face. Hey, it's saved him a sucker punch to the face a time or two]

Yeah, this place tends to attract the supernaturals.

[Ah. Now he has a sheepish look on his face]

Uh, yeah actually. Kinda snacked on....Scott. Didn't mean to! Then again it's sorta fair play since he tried to kill me his first full moon.

[triskeled]

[The innocent look get's a pair of narrowed eyes. Because this kid is now a vampire and Derek's taking no chances with him.

That's not saying he won't go upside his head when he deserves it, however.]

Wait, what?

[He smirks a little, but it's not to be confused with some silent triumph, nope. All the hell Scott's given him and he get's fed on? Priceless.]

He's probably your safest bet. After everything that's happened with the Kanima people are going to be wary and more alert to that kind of stuff.

[wolfmaster]

[Don't hit him because he's beautiful! Hit him because his mouth runs a mile a minute]

Uh, yeah. That's so weird though. Macking on my best friend's neck. But I guess I can't really kill him....I mean if you wolves could go down from blood loss you'd all have been wiped out a long time ago.

[triskeled]

Hm. Just make sure you stick to Scott and stay away from my pack. For your own sake, of course.

[wolfmaster]

Hey! You don't get to tell me what to do.

[Because he's the big bad wolf master!

Not that I want to snack on your wolves anyway. They're probably riddled with brooding 'Derek' germs.

[triskeled]

[Even a wolf master can meet a sad and tragic end...by the hands (or fangs) of the creatures he's meant to control. >:P]

Fine. Because I'm sure they wouldn't mind snacking on you the next full moon.

[Wry smile.]

[wolfmaster]

You wouldn't do that!

[He didn't sound so sure of himself though]

Besides, what if I'm toxic to them? Bad vampire germs and all that stuff.

[triskeled]

...

You're right. I hadn't thought of that before. Better had Peter do it instead...

[wolfmaster]

Ew! Don't let your creepy old uncle anywhere near me!

[excessive]

Do you sparkle? Oh. My. God. You do, don't you? That's why the not seductive, single thing. You're a mormon vampire.

[Will never not be amused by this.]

And try with the control thing. I will so point Argent your way.

[wolfmaster]

[All the flailing. All of it!]

No! I don't sparkle like those weird Twilight faeries!

[He huffs and crosses his arms over his chest. Yeah, still a scrawny pale excuse for a teenage boy. Only now with the added bonus of fangs and glowing eyes]

Geez you wolves and your alpha protective mode.

[excessive]

Suuuure, you don't. And hey. They're not all bad apparently. I met one.

[He stared back, eyes narrowing slightly.]

Yeah, one of those weird things that is part of the nature of the beast, huh?

[wolfmaster]

They're not even vampires. Vampires have fangs. They don't have fangs at all.

[Does he have to sit Isaac down and explain all this? Nah, maybe they should just have one big horror movie night]

I can't promise I won't make Derek do ridiculous stuff, but I can promise I'll try to get it on camera if I do.

[excessive]

Really? How do they eat? Seriously? Though I hate the wolves. Seriously? What, are they allergic to fabric?

[This probably wouldn't end well with all the cracks Isaac could make. Knowing limits is not his forte.]

Oh good. Evidence for the hunters. [Protective much, Isaac?]

[wolfmaster]

I dunno. Just something about sharp teeth. I didn't read the books alright?

[He's finally finished flailing his arms like a maniac]

You think they even know how to kill a vampire? Because right now I don't even know and I'm pretty sure I don't want to find out.

[excessive]

[This is amusing Isaac more than it should.]

Seems an easy enough answer then. Don't go around threatening the alpha.

[wolfmaster]

I wasn't threatening him. Geez, you need to learn the difference between a joke and a real threat. Derek is a douche, but he has saved my ass on occasion.

[excessive]

I admit, you flailing and saying geez when you're all grrrr and all is pretty funny.

[wolfmaster]

I'm still me. I still crave curly fries and apparently being a vampire hasn't done much for my physique either.

[excessive]

No, not really done much there, has it? And yeah, you can claim that but I know I'm not still just who I was, no matter how much is the same.

[triskeled]

Play nice. I don't want him dying from humiliation before I get the chance to see if he actually sparkles or not.

[wolfmaster]

[More arm flailing]

I. Do. Not. Sparkle!

[triskeled]

You sparkle. Admit it.

[wolfmaster]

[He's getting worked up and so guess what? Yup. His eyes are glowing red now with dark veins fanning out underneath his lashes]

Do not!

[triskeled]

[Derek considers him for brief moment before offering a mocking smile.]

Nice trick, Stiles.

[wolfmaster]

Yeah I know, I'm a bit of a freak.

[Just don't get him all worked up like that! He's not too good at controlling his impulses just yet]

[excessive]

Got it.


Wait. What if he's like a Buffy one? Then you're talking WHOOSH flames and dust.

[triskeled]

Then I'd be seriously let down. I'm hoping for sparkles and maybe saving a few pictures for future humiliation.

That is if he even appears in photos...

[excessive]

I want copies. I plan on sending them to Argent if he tries to humiliate you.

[triskeled]

Probably best we don't get him involved in the affairs of sparkling vampires or lack thereof.

[excessive]

Then some vampires shouldn't go around making threats against certain people.