Voicetesting; canon is Being Human

[stakesandsparklers]

Should I write this? Only I've got dead horrible penmanship and it wouldn't have the same effect as if I just said it. Like if someone wrote 'I'm happy' on a piece of paper, but you couldn't tell how happy they was unless you saw 'em.

Maybe I could write it down and then read it to you.

Dear Mun,

I started it all proper-like. See, with the 'dear mun'? Don't no one do it like that but me, but it looks classy. Really professional.

Right.

Dear Mun,

Fuck right off.

Sincerely,

Thomas McNair

Comments

[whiskywolf]

[Have rather big Scottish gentleman, Tom. There may be a slight wolfy scent about him. Not pure werewolf, but not pure human, either...]

I don't think that's gonna work, lad.

[stakesandsparklers]

Didn't expect it to do anything. If I was, I'd ask her to let me alone, wouldn't I, same as everybody else asks their muns the first time they come on here?

[whiskywolf]

I don't want mine to leave me alone. Been with him for so long, it'd be weird.

'least you're not a sheep.

[stakesandsparklers]

'Course not. Sort of the opposite of sheep, really.

How long you been with him?

[whiskywolf]

[A sniff, here, as he regards Tom for a second.]

About ten years, give or take.

[bigbad]

Don't think anyone'll confuse you for happy.

[stakesandsparklers]

I'm happy. It's a right party over here, with her wanting to throw me in the middle of a place what's got vampires like cockroaches all over.

'Course I'm happy. What makes ya think I ain't?

Hold on. Was it because I didn't say 'love, Tom'? Think it might've gone over better that way if I'd said 'love, Tom' after telling her to get fucked?

[bigbad]

....who're you calling a bloody cockroach?

[stakesandsparklers]

Erm.

[Give him a moment to remember. He said a lot of things just now.]

Oh, right, vampires. I was calling vampires cockroaches.

[bigbad]

[You know what annoys Spike more than being called a cockroach?

Being called a cockroach by a moron.]

It's a rhetorical question, you stupid git. That was me being offended.

[actuallyprettyclever]

Classy.

[stakesandsparklers]

S'what I said. Me dad taught me to write letters, and he said you always start 'em off with 'Dear so-and-so', and then you say what you mean to say, and when you're done, you sign it 'sincerely' or 'love' or 'respectfully', and then your name.

Only I don't love me mun, and it's sort of iconic to say 'respectfully' after telling her to fuck off, innit?

[Or. You know. Ironic.]

[wotcher]

I think that will only inspire her.

[stakesandsparklers]

Like to paint a picture?

[wotcher]

Which would you rather, be blissful and ignorant or would you rather be informed and scared?

[stakesandsparklers]

Erm...can't I be just blissful? How come I've got to be ignorant, too?

[wotcher]

[ What? ]

In this case mate, ignorance is definitely bliss.

[reform]

So much for proper. Lost it there in the middle, didn't you.

[stakesandsparklers]

Should I've asked her how her day was and told her about them two vampires I killed last Saturday first?

'Dear Mun, Thought I'd write and tell you I had to whittle a new stake because them fucking bloodsuckers are infesting Barry like a bunch of rats or summat. How's your mum?'

Looks all right like I done it. It's succinct and all.

[reform]

[ WOW and suddenly he remembers why you used to make him so angry. well, aside for the whole 'wolf-shaped bullet' deal. ]

Oh, no. It's really important you ask her how her mum is. People usually appreciate that, you know. Might help with the whole "hey, I'm a nasty little prat" thing you have going on.

[stakesandsparklers]

Oi, who're you calling a prat?

Just 'cos I didn't ask about her mum and want to be like succinct and straight with her, it don't mean I don't care. It just means you're a dickhead and you talk too much.

[Speaking of talking too much...]

Erm, didn't you die or something?

Holy hell YES

[routinemercy]

Faced with something that eloquent, I can't imagine why they say the art of epistolary correspondence is dead.

COME TO ME

[stakesandsparklers]

Don't need to be eloquent if you can be straight and get your point across. Sometimes brevity is more appropriate to the situation.

McNair said.

Who's Epistolary? She a painter or something?

I AM ALREADY HERE

[routinemercy]

Brevity? Aside from you somehow deciding this required a formal letter in the first place, it took you ten minutes to compose three words. I sat here and watched you.

[He's not even going to touch the painter thing, because truly, Tom. For some things there just are no words.]

good stay here forever because Hal is perf.

[stakesandsparklers]

There's eight words there. You can't just count the body, Hal. You have to count the greeting and the closing and then me name, too. And all the other things I said.

And it would've taken longer if I'd said more than what I said 'cos I've got loads of feelings about this. Loads. Like I'm a bit scared. But only a bit. The sick sort of scared, like I'm sort of queasy and maybe I'll sick up, 'cos I don't know where I'm going, do I? Not the other sort where I'm like shaking and sweating. And I'm irate, too.

Loads of feelings, yeah? It's hard to get it all condensed to them three words. Took time.