voice testing ; canon is harry potter ; apped at paradisa!

[heirofficium]

Alright, girlie, I know you're probably feeling low about writing me that piece about giving Snivellus what he rightly deserves, but lemme remind you of a few facts-

Regardless of whatever you sodding know that I don't, that slimy git always deserves it. Always. Let's you and I be honest, eh? Oh, what's that Muggle phrase... he's cruising for a beating, is it? Yeah. That's him, any given minute of the day. I know it, you know it, Merlin and his half-rotten gran know it. That slug could use a good salting here and there.

And remember, this was your bloody idea! You do what you have to to get me into that barmy castle, you hear? This was all your idea.

So keep at it, yeah? I need out of here.

Comments

[wildandfree]

Cruising for a beating? You sound like a bully to me.

eeeeeee hello

[heirofficium]

[ Ew, you look like Evans. ]

You would too, if you knew the dumb sod. And it's not like we really beat him. He just... finds himself hung by his robes from wall sconces now and then.

's all in good fun.

Gryffindor...Brave... It seemed to fit. XD

[wildandfree]

[Who?]

If you did that in my clan, you'd find yourself hangin' upside down somewhere in return.

Re: Gryffindor...Brave... It seemed to fit. XD

[heirofficium]

[ It's not important, Merida. All you need to know is she's bossy, a know-it-all, and ginger. ]

Then you should probably know that he was the one who started it all.

[ Besides, even if he completely hated the dumb bint, Snivellus had called his best mate's crush a mudblood. You just don't do that within earshot of a Marauder. ]

[wildandfree]

[There's a lot of gingers where she comes from.]

So you prefer to hang onto old battle wounds rather than gettin' revenge and lettin' it go?

[It makes perfect sense if you live with a bunch of battle thirsty Scottish men.]

It'll only get the better of you if you keep fightin' a losing battle.

[heirofficium]

[ Lily Evans is a lot of gingers' worth of trouble. I don't even know, what am I writing. ]

We're not the only ones who don't let go! 'sides, he's a Slytherin, and Slytherins are the worst sort you can ally yourself with.

[ It makes perfect sense if you live hating a bunch of blood purity-espousing prats. ]

It is a most valiant and noble fight, lass, and it is one we intend to win.

[ He says this with a somewhat showy bow. He may or may not be patronising you... So sorry, Merida. ]

[wildandfree]

[Merida would probably like her.]

Slytherin? Sounds like a bunch of snakes t'me. And if that's what they are, you best keep your distance. You only have to get bitten once to pay the price.

[She arches a brow. Un.amused.]

You don't seem like a fighter to me. Can you even shoot a bow?

[heirofficium]

[ Now that has his attention. 'get bitten once...' You just made a good impression on Sirius Black III. Grats. ]

Maybe so, but a bunch of simpering garden snakes is nothing my friends and I can't handle.

[ Oh, so tempting... To violate the Statute of Secrecy or to not violate the Statute of Secrecy...

He chuckles. ]

No, no I can't, but it's nothing a few well-practised hexes can't make up for.

[wildandfree]

[She can be wise from time to time!]

I dunno why you would want to bother with a bunch of garden snakes to begin with, but to each his own.

[Her brow furrows.]

You have...Magic? [You bet your wand she believes in it.]

[heirofficium]

[ Clearly! ]

Well, I guess I should let you in on a little secret. They're people... just a real slippery, rotten sort. And their mascot is a snake.

[ He pauses. ]

Well, yeah. Though you're the first Muggle I've seen who knew about it without being related to a wizard...

[wildandfree]

At least their name fits 'em, then! [She can't help but be a little amused.]

I've known about Magic my whole life! When I was but a wee girl, I saw a will-o'-the-wisp. Now...

I know what it was guidin' me to.

[heirofficium]

That's why my friends and I hate them. [ Among other reasons. ]

Will-o'-the... oh, you mean hinkypunks? Bet you got your wee self stuck in a bog, then.

[ Again with the condescension. Whoops. ]

So. You know about magic. [ He raises an eyebrow. ]

What do you know about magic, then?

[wildandfree]

But garden snakes can be useful. Some of them take care of rodents... [Positive spin?]

Hinky what? [Quizzical look.] I wasn't stuck in a bog. I did find a Witch, though. [And Mordu.]

Yeah, I do. [What of it?] I know it can't be used to solve your problems. You've gotta sort them out yourself or they just get bigger.

[heirofficium]

One of my friends is a rodent. [ Sometimes. ]

Hinkypunks. [ Blinks. ] Little smoky-lookin' things, lure travelers into bogs. You're supposed to use Lumos Duo on 'em til they solidify, right? [ He just almost grabbed his Defence Against the Dark Arts book to make sure. ]

Oh, it's not all bad. You can use it to make all sorts o' things, make 'em float, turn yourself into animals... You sound like you just had a bad time of it is all.

[ You can also kill people and force them to do your bidding, but Sirius is quite tactfully leaving that bit out. ]

[lupinotuum]

[ Here's that trademark sigh of exasperation you're so used to hearing, Sirius. ]

Sirius Black, you have far better things you could be doing instead of bullying Snape. Honestly...

[ He is disappointed in you, Sirius.

Seriously.

Look at his face. ]

[heirofficium]

You should've seen the look on his face, Moony! He was about to hex me, I swear.

[ There's something about his tone that says he is totally unrepentant.

Your face doesn't work on him, Remus. ]

[lupinotuum]

Uh-huh.

[ UNIMPRESSED. ]

Like I said, there are far better things you could be doing.
For instance, you could be helping me with the map -- which, by the way, we still need to research a charm to make the staircases move...

Or, if that does not suit you, you could always go and visit James in the Hospital Wing. Poor sod got hit with a "Lily hex" again.

[heirofficium]

You heard me.

[ UNINTIMIDATED. ]

Did you try that book in the library with the funny binding? I thought I grabbed that one.

What was it this time? Antlers? Third nipple? There are scads of lasses who're barmy for those, you know. He should keep it.

[ CHEESIEST EYEBROW WAGGLE. SIRIUS ARE YOU SERIOUS. ]

[lupinotuum]

I'm sorry, what did you say? I have selective hearing and can't hear stupidity.

[ STILL UNIMPRESSED. ]

Yes, but I've looked through it and there wasn't anything that we could use. If we had something on cartography... [ He trails off, biting his lip for a moment. ]

No, but his nose was swollen to the size of a watermelon when I saw him last.

[heirofficium]

Weren't you listening when I said I thought I saw him practicing a new hex?

[ STILL UNINTIMIDATED. ]

... Oh, bloody hell... [ This thought is making itself known pretty inconveniently... ]

Oh, I bet there are ladies out there who'd give that a few bob too... ~

[lupinotuum]

And ... ? What exactly is your point.
Just because he might have been practicing a new hex, does not mean he deserves it.

[ He just rolls his eyes and shakes his head, before raising his brows at him. ]

What ... ?

...

That is a very unpleasant image you just put in my head, thank you....

[asthedrivensnow]

I believe the term is "cruising for a bruising".

[heirofficium]

Last time I checked, your name was Narcissa and not Mugglism Encyclopedia.

[ Flattest stare in the history of flat. ]

[asthedrivensnow]

Last time I checked, you were fourteen and capable of remembering a simple rhyme scheme. Today is just full of surprises.

[heirofficium]

I'm sixteen, thanks.

What do you want, Narcissista?

[ Oho. He went there. ]

[asthedrivensnow]

Oh? Well, I'm sure you still have growing to do.

[Ouch. Except, not really.]

My, such harsh words. Can't I greet my cousin when I see him, or do you still take House rivalry so very seriously? [He hasn't left home, for her.]

[timespacemessiah]

From my understanding, you resent this Snivelus person for merely existing? Is that it?