What am I even...canon is Once Upon A Mattress

[verysoftshoes]

Well! What an interesting place. But I can't dally too long. I've got to get back. You know what the King is like.

He'd be lost without me!




Exactly why am I here again?

Comments

[thebeatofherheart]

Probably for some kind of psychological torture.

[chinhands. All the chinhands.]

Why would the King be lost without you?

[verysoftshoes]

I'm his most trusted and loyal servent, my lady! I fill the most essential and vital role in the entire court of Burgundy!




I'm his jester.

[And have a dramatic bow.]

[thebeatofherheart]

[she can appreciate a dramatic bow. She might even humor him with a little curtsy because she's awesome like that.]

I didn't think jesters were that important.

[verysoftshoes]

Few people realize how vital they are.

Why, without jesters, nations would crumble!

[thebeatofherheart]

Huh.

[well whadaya know.]

That explains a lot about Joe Biden.

[verysoftshoes]

[He doesn't know who that is, but isn't much bothered by it. Instead, he holds out a hand to her.]

And you would be?

[foralltohear]

Wow. Okay.

Those were some pretty ridiculous noises my mun just made over you.

[verysoftshoes]

I do so love ridiculous noises.

Might I hear a few, my lady?

[thebeatofherheart]

[extends her hand to him as daintily as she can manage]

Ava Lee Connor. But Ava is fine.

[foralltohear]

I think your ears are better off if you didn't, honestly.

But rest assured, it means she's glad to see you.

[verysoftshoes]

Lady Ava.

[He kisses her hand.]

A pleasure to meet you. A pleasure only matched, perhaps, but the pleasure it doubtlessly is to meet me.

[verysoftshoes]

Well, of course. I'm a delightful chap.

And your name, my lady?

[foralltohear]

Ah, it's Jovie. And you are?

[verysoftshoes]

In the courts of Burgundy, they call me "Jester" or "Fool."

But you can call me "James" if you prefer.

[foralltohear]

So you actually live in a place where there's a king and queen and all of that?

[verysoftshoes]

I do indeed, my lady!

[Pause.]

Say...you look a mite familiar. Have we met before?

[foralltohear]

I'm pretty sure I'd remember that, but I'm thinking there's a reason my mun chose me out of all the muses in her head to come talk to you.

[verysoftshoes]

They're most peculiar creatures, these muns, aren't they?

[foralltohear]

That's putting it lightly. Not to mention they find the weirdest things amusing.

[verysoftshoes]

Well, I like weird things myself.

I suppose that means I might...like these mun-folk.

[foralltohear]

Well, they're not terrible I guess. Most of the time she only bugs me about once a year.

[verysoftshoes]

That's not a lot at all. What do you do with all that extra free time?

[foralltohear]

Rest, mostly. It isn't such a bad gig, really.

[verysoftshoes]

Rest? I can't imagine!

We don't get a lot of days off in the court.

[foralltohear]

That must be rough. Probably worse than working in a department store at Christmas time.