On Paper Mario: Sticker Star

[geomemancy]

Dearest Sir Mundane,

I'm no spring chicken, but contrary to popular belief, the great Magikoopa Kamek can't be done in by flipflops. Just let the rumor mill run its course and we can get on with our lives again.

Sincerely,

Advisor to His Putridness, Kamek Koopa

Comments

[debootante]

GWEAHAHAHAHAHA!

Why, of course, you're right! You're not done in by flipflops; you're done in by stickers of flipflops! Heheheheheheheahaha!

You're so far past your prime it's really sad. We've got an opening in my mansion for a maid if you'd care to give up the ghost already. It has to be better than being a pile of ash.

[geomemancy]

Urk, a Boo!

You gave my heart a leap and a flip...

Listen here, you're still a hundred years too early to be taking that tone with me, young lady! And since when did you get over your customary shyness?

[debootante]

When 'Your Obnoxiousness' started sending in his troops into my territory. Not all of us want to work for you grubby little turtles, you know.

I have a life.

Figuratively speaking.

Face it; you died the moment you went up against Mario.

[geomemancy]

Mm, yes. We do have quite a rowdy ring of rebelling rabbles raving 'round the graves these days. Shame, because your king was eager enough to comply.

[debootante]

Any blob of ectoplasm can pick up a crown! The Gusty Gulch Boos answer to me and only to me - the lovely Lady Bow.

NOW DON'T FORGET IT!

[geomemancy]

Pfeh. Rebels. Well, dealing with you lot has always just been a part of my daily regiment. After all, none of you quite match up to that irritant plumber. Yes, I've been pit against him for... my, it seems like ages...

But my game isn't over despite all that, has it? You give me less credit than I deserve, Boo child.

[debootante]

Gweahahaha!

I had him squirming under my thumb. ...Stub. He didn't dare put the life of a Star Spirit in danger - not that I would've done more than rough it up a bit, but Mario didn't need to know that.

But I'll root for him against you any day of the week.

[cape_and_wizard_hat]

The Great and Powerful Trixie suggests to quell such negative rumors before they can even start.

[geomemancy]

Hm? Hm. With violence if necessary. And all that. I know the drill. I've considered it.

[cape_and_wizard_hat]

The Great and Powerful Trixie usually only humiliates her hecklers in front of everypony.

[geomemancy]

Also an option. But then the temptation for a little get-back would be oh-so grand. What then? Too troublesome is what.

[cape_and_wizard_hat]

Trixie is much too respectable to be caught performing any act of violence.

[geomemancy]

While mischief is perfectly acceptable. I wouldn't advocate one over the other, anyway. Besides, when I'm feeling nasty, I can do something very nasty with just a flick of my wand.

[thegreatgonzalez]

[ Oh look, it's Kamek.

Oh look, it's an angry plumber. ]

[geomemancy]

Oh look, someone's irritable. You hardly have an excuse for that, you realize. Though I will admit that the flatness is curious.

[thegreatgonzalez]

[ Mario makes a surprised little hop. How dare you comment on his paperness! ]

[geomemancy]

How dare I? Easily, actually. A lot of matters in life could have gone just as easily if it wasn't for you jumping everywhere here and there. On my head, for example.

[thegreatgonzalez]

[ Mario looks neutral about this. Jumping on things is what he does you silly magikoopa! ]

[wright_idea]

Are you sure talking about "rumors" is such a good idea considering who some of the other characters your mun has are?

[geomemancy]

Nothing to worry about. Nobody plays that overhyped blooper anyway.

[kingbowser]

[...Kamek, what are you talkin' 'bout? Pardon Bowser's bewildered expression here.]

Wait. You mean to tell me that Mario's fighting with some flimsy shoes now?

[...Well, okay, it's not like that's completely new. Goomba Shoes and all that, but flip flops are a whole new level of humiliation!]

[geomemancy]

K-King Bowser! Your Nastiness!

[Only if you pardon his own surprise. Kamek didn't think he would have to see his liege here.]

That was... in a completely different reality. It's irrelevant. Absolutely irrelevant. It has nothing to do with me. Truth be told, I'm ashamed of my two-dimensional counterpart!

[kingbowser]

Gah! Of all the things...

[...How he'd love to pound that plumber right now with a heaping dose of invincibility for good measure, but... hrrrn. Kammy'd probably bark at him for not watching his blood pressure.

Right, he can totally act composed. Besides, Kamek's one of his most trusted minions.]

Well, it wouldn't be the first time that pesky plumber's made a mess outta either of us, but this is ridiculous.

Next thing you know, he'll start fighting with something even sillier, like stickers and soda pop!

[There's a certain irony lost on Bowser here, but that's okay. His earlier canon point grants him a certain blissful ignorance. ]

[geomemancy]

... Actually, sir...

[As far as he knows? Both applies. Kamek realizes he shouldn't have said anything and he stops there. Talking to Bowser always puts him on edge.]

[kingbowser]

Yes?

[This, Kamek? This is Bowser giving the most deadpan stare. Do go on...]