Voice Test. Original Character.

[rapporteur]

[Someone sounds mildly annoyed, but also surprisingly sincere.] We did not all walk in at once.

There weren't five of us, we didn't charge through the door and demand that you write about any of us.

You don't even actually understand what I do for a living, and your only inspiration is "gosh you look great in those pictures."

That's not a great reason to expose anyone to invincible and completely ruin their lives. [He frowns] None at all.

However, I'm being told that you don't see reason and that I should just go along with it. Fine. and if you insist on making more of my...new...compatriots journals I'd like you to warn everyone first.

[His voice is tight, expression grim as he rubs his temples with one hand and leans back.] You're going to give me the worst headache. I can tell.

Comments

[cardinalvirtue]

Y'know, it's not so bad. It's kind of nice to be able to inspire someone to do something, don't you think?

[rapporteur]

[He inhales] Ye-es when it's doing something productive. Saving the rain forest. Giving back to their fellow man. Not, "Let's write a fun story about how much we can fuck up someone else's existence.'

[cardinalvirtue]

We-ell I know what that's like and that's no good. But it's not like you can do anything about it, you know?

Sometimes, it's just fate.

[rapporteur]

I'm sure given enough time I could find a way to file paperwork. Sanctions. An embargo. "Do not roleplay with this person." She can be the literal Cuba of this...hobby.

[Stop with your topical political humor, no one gets it.] ...Fate. How is it fate if someone is controlling it?

[cardinalvirtue]

[ Grin. ] You're the kinda guy I deal with at work, pushing paper, huh?

[rapporteur]

[He smiles at that, almost - shy.] I push paper in exotic locations.

[cardinalvirtue]

Ooooh. Bet it makes for great vacation time.

[rapporteur]

It's not Maui but there is a lot of history. What do you do?

[cardinalvirtue]

You know, things. Taking care of what needs to be done.

[rapporteur]

Stuff and things?

[And now a real smile] I dunno. You ever been to Mombasa? Dubai? The Sudan?

[sempiternally]

Everyone is always so unhappy with their muns. It's either "why are you bringing me there? I hate you! You know nothing about me, blah blah blah."

At least some of you- and I mean a small amount here- are willing to cooperate, but it's always with hesitation. Who knows, maybe it won't be so bad.

[rapporteur]

...Do you - [No of course they don't know what invincible is.]

You don't understand.

[sempiternally]

[What is that, some kind of game?]

What don't I understand? Tell me.

[rapporteur]

[Why yes. And no. And yes!]

You will think I'm a psychopath.

[sempiternally]

And even if I did, that's okay because I may not be entirely sane myself.

[rapporteur]

That's reassuring. I'm having problems enough without...associating with people with mental disorders.

[sempiternally]

Let me show you something then. You got a weapon of some sort? Something potentially fatal? [You'd think that by now Kieran would actually be carrying one on him. Or maybe he just liked seeing people's expressions.]

[rapporteur]

...I..

[He begins to empty his pockets, suddenly wishing Mel was here. She had a gun.

Reaching into his pockets he empties them - wallet, keys, phone, loose change, wedding ring, pen.] ...I'm a sociology professor, I'm...a learner not a fighter.


Sorry. The pen I guess? [It's a good pen, monogramed with the words MC on the end]

[sempiternally]

[He takes the pen, looks at it confusingly, and wonders how this is going to work. Wrist slitting, throat cutting, not sharp enough. He could always-

Choke.]

Okay, hold on. [He proceeds to bend and twist the pen until it starts to crack and proceeds to tear off the little bits of plastic. Finished, he now has several large shards in his hands when he opens his mouth and shoves the pile in and begins to swallow over and over.]

[rapporteur]

[He can't contain his horror. Moving forward he makes to grab him around the middle.] spit it out! It's all right I've got you! I've got you!

[But no, he did this on purpose. Is he insane? committing suicide like that? Running a hand through his hair he steps back, shaking and reaching for his phone.] Let me call a doctor. Let me...

[his hands continue to shake]

[sempiternally]

[It doesn't matter what he does, Kieran can't be saved from this. Some shards make it down his trachea, others stick to his sides like glue. They scrape his skin, shallow cuts, he can taste blood in his mouth. Soon enough, the shards pile around each other and he can't breathe. Do the Heimlich, call an ambulence, it all happened within seconds and in minutes he'll be dead.

And then, while he went to call for help, Kieran collapses to the floor; vacant eyes now staring at nothing.]

[rapporteur]

[..oh. Oh god. The iphone drops.] Help! [He drags him over and considers his options - pry his mouth open, help him...

He frowns uncertainly before he folds his hands over his chest and presses down. He wants to hope that maybe it might dislodge things. Maybe.]

[sempiternally]

[That does nothing.

Unless you were to reach down and pry each individual shard from Kieran's throat, time is just counting down until it's too late to resuscitate. Then there's the matter of the swallowed shards... It didn't matter what this guy did.]

[rapporteur]

[He sits back on his heels...shaking. He's seen people die before but killing themselves.]

You idiot.

[His tone is barely above a whisper.] You idiot. You stupid idiot [It's not sure who he's talking about] Why did you do that?

[He presses his hands over his eyes] Stupid, stupid.

[sempiternally]

[Timing is always a little funny at this part. It can take anywhere from minutes to days before anything actually happens, but it appears this time it's only going to be minutes.

Kieran's eyes blink. His body twitches once, like some zombie come back from the dead, and then blinks once again before inhaling and exhaling one deep breath. He moves his body up into a sitting position. Eyes wide, Kieran looks around until he spots the shocked fellow, realizes where he is, and tries to get his attention by speaking. But Kieran can't because now he's leaning over and vomiting, pen shards leaving his body and ridding it of the foreign objects.]