this place needs more Samurai Jack

[masterofevil]

SO, MUN. I SEE THAT ALTHOUGH YOU HAVE THE POOR TASTE TO STILL ADMIRE THE SAMURAI, IN THE END YOUR BETTER JUDGEMENT WON OUT, AND YOU HAVE CREATED AN ACCOUNT FOR I, AKU, BEFORE HIM.

NOW, FIRST THINGS FIRST. THE ICONS YOU CURRENTLY HAVE, THOUGH ACCEPTABLE, WILL NOT DO IN THE LONG TERM. FOR ONE, THEY DO NOT EXPRESS THE GLORIOUS ARRAY OF EXPRESSIONS THAT I FREQUENTLY MAKE. WITH ONLY THESE, SOON EVERYBODY WILL START TO GET THE WRONG IDEA OF ME, AND YOU KNOW AS WELL AS I HOW HARD FIRST IMPRESSIONS ARE TO BREAK.

YOU HAVE SOME OF THE EPISODES, AND HAVE FOUND THEM ALL. THERE IS, THEREFORE, NOTHING TO EXCUSE YOU. CHOP-CHOP.

AFTER THAT, THE NEXT ORDER OF BUSINESS SHALL BE FINDING ME A GAME.

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

IT IS APPROPRIATE THAT THEY SHOULD CALL IT A GAME, AS I SHALL BE THE ONE TO WIN IT!

WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT'S NOT THAT KIND OF GAME?

Comments

[righteousblade]

There is no game that I will allow you to win, Aku.

[masterofevil]

-!!

SAMURAI!

HOW DID YOU-

OH I SEE. CLEARLY THERE WAS ANOTHER FOOL WHO BROUGHT YOU FORTH FROM MY FUTURE AND TO THIS STRANGE, DIMENSION-BREAKING PLACE. WEEEEEEELL THAT IS NO MATTER, FOR HERE OR THERE I SHALL WIN. IN FACT, THERE, I HAVE ALREADY WON! AND NOW THAT YOU ARE HERE, THERE IS NO ONE THERE TO OPPOSE ME, SO ONCE I RETURN THERE, I SHALL TOO BE RID OF THE YOU FROM HERE WHEN I RETURN THERE BECAUSE YOU ARE HERE WHILE I SHALL BE THERE.

[squint]

[masterofevil]

IT APPEARS TO BE SOME SORT OF HUMAN. YES WHAT IS IT? WHAT CAN AKU DO FOR YOU? SPEAK UP, I DO NOT HAVE ALL DAY TO STAND AROUND HERE WAITING FOR YOUR REPLY.

[greatflamingeyebrows]

The FOOLISH mun suggests that you partake of icons. I will allow my glorious visage to be further spread across this land, for the greater glory of the ALLMIGHTY Aku!

seriously though thank you

[masterofevil]

INDEED. AND THE MORE OF ME THERE IS TO GO AROUND, THE HAPPIER THESE PEASANT TYPES WILL BE, GIVEN THIS RARE OPPORTUNITY TO INDULGE IN THE AKUNESS THAT IS AKU.

IIIIIIIIIII SUPPOSE I SHOULD THANK YOUR MUNDANE FOR... GENEROSITY... OR... SOMETHING RIDICULOUS LIKE THAT. BUT I WON'T. ICONS ARE THE LEAST OF THE TRIBUTES DUE TO THE GREAT AKU.

[carbon_knight]

With all due respect...

What are you supposed to be?

[masterofevil]

I? I? I AM AKU, THE SHAPESHIFTING MASTER OF DARKNESS, ABSOLUTE RULER OF EARTH.

WHY, WHAT ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO BE?

[carbon_knight]

I am a mirror. I serve the Queen of Hearts.

She doesn't let us out much.

[So you'll excuse his curiosity, of course, your evilness.]

[masterofevil]

OH. I SEE.

DO YOU KNOW, I HAVE NEVER MET THIS 'QUEEN OF HEARTS,' BUT SHE SOUNDS INTRIGUING. TELL ME, IF YOU ARE A MIRROR, WHY DO YOU NOT DISPLAY MY REFLECTION?

[carbon_knight]

Not in the job description, I'm afraid.

Although I'm sure your reflection would be quite fascinating.

Oh my gosh I think I love you. Makes me wanna make a Jack account.

[nicelandmaintenance]

Er, sir?

[Felix clears his throat, looking up at the so-called Shogun of Sorrows.]

Your Miss Mundane is right - it's no the kind of game where you win!

do it do it

[masterofevil]

PSHA. NONSENSE. IF IT IS A GAME, THERE IS A WAY TO WIN IT. IF NO-ONE HAS FOUND IT YET THEN THEY ARE JUST NOT LOOKING HARD ENOUGH.