mun's reading Generation Kill now

[mailorderturret]

That's just great, mundane, now you think you have such a great insight on me and how I act and what I say. You're not even a fourth of the way and here you are, thinking that you know exactly what to do and what to say.

Hm. At the very least, this should be entertaining.

Comments

[rippedfuelhero]

Hey, it could be worse, mine hasn't even read the book yet. She's just taking some douchebag director's word for everything.

[mailorderturret]

Oh, well that's certainly a person to trust, a director who is trying to tell a story artistically, like an upstate bitch trying to impress other upstate bitches.

[rippedfuelhero]

Right? Some liberal dicksuck who doesn't get out of bed without a soy latte and a butt plug is supposed to have any idea what it's like to go to war? Fuck that, homes.

[mailorderturret]

These simple men. Their worst troubles are if their lattes have enough foam and if their dry-humping, yelping pocket dogs are comfortable enough in their purses. They don't know a single thing about combat and they pretend to empathize with the plight of the American soldier.

[rippedfuelhero]

Fucking right! [Pauses contemplatively.] If anyone in Hollywood had a brain cell left, they'd be making some really high-class porn. You know those premium cable channels turn to soft-core late at night? But the acting is shit in those. These movie studios should be paying Angelina Jolie and J-Lo to be in, like, high-budget soft-core, where they're lesbian strippers drawn together by a love of jazz music and good pussy.

They'd have to build twice as many theaters if that's the kind of shit that was playing. It's the patriotic duty of every American to love it when people fuck in a movie. Imagine if that was like seventy-five percent of the film! We wouldn't have to buy our own cammie nets, for one thing. Our economy would be so flush we'd be rolling into Iraq in fucking limo tanks.

[mailorderturret]

Ray, I really don't think limo tanks would be the best. We'd be followed by many more Fruity Rudys.

[rippedfuelhero]

Or maybe we'd be getting some hot haji chicks. All women like limos, Brad. It makes them feel like princesses.

[mailorderturret]

Ray, one thing you need to learn is that not all women are like the whiskey tango women you know. Limos are trashy and probably the worst excuse of a vehicle to ever exist besides for the sole purpose of fucking girls who are incapable of graduating from high school and having a reading level above 6th grade.

[rippedfuelhero]

Are you telling me you wouldn't rather be in a nice, comfy limo than this metal sweatbox with half-dried dip spit on the doors?

Oh right, I forgot, you'd rather be on your precious motorcycle. [He shakes his head.] Not all of us are willing to strap a bitch to the front of our bike so we can get head while we're leaning into every turn. There's a thing called comfort at the expense of everything else, and there's nothing more American than that. Why do you think we have recliners with cup-holders? No other country in the world is lazy enough to think up that shit.

[mailorderturret]

And that is the sorry state of affairs, my friend. We fight so everyone can have the right to sit in their recliners with cup-holders.

[rippedfuelhero]

Yeah, but at least my mom appreciates it. Pretty much everything in her trailer has a cup-holder. There's even a cup-holder next to the toilet.

[mailorderturret]

Drinking and sitting on the toilet while taking a crap is fairly backwards.

[rippedfuelhero]

[Ray shrugs.] Otherwise your beer gets warm.

[mailorderturret]

Keep it classy, Ray. Keep it classy.