(no subject)

[givesacrap]

Nooo. No! Bad mun. Do you have any idea what kind of repercussions me going to one of these games of yours would have? For God's sake, suddenly all of the women in these games will start to realize that they have no idea what a man with testicles looks like and I would re-he-heally hate to be in their shoes when Jordan finds out and unhinges that python-like jaw of hers and swallows them whole just for flocking to me. Hell, I might just run out of girls names to call everyone and then if Newbie shows up I'll have to resort to calling him 'Spot' or other uncreative names for dogs because I will just have absolutely no girls' names left for him. I mean really, what are you thinking? Like you need to have another reason to sit around instead of doing all that work you're supposed to be doing. Really, if you get any more distracted I might have to seriously consider giving you an award for most pathetic goldfish impersonation and I definitely would except that I really don't think it's worth my time because you would probably get distracted halfway through your glorious acceptance speech by the sparkles on your $2 nail polish. Hng.

Comments

[6collegecredits]

I'll give it an 8.5.

[givesacrap]

Lady, this is at least a 10. Maybe even an 11 if you squint right but, I know, you probably had an accident with your high-school level talents for putting on eyeliner in the morning and are having vision problems in one eye but it's okay, I won't blame you too much since I'm a doctor and I just can't medically treat a case of the clumsies without laughing too hard. [ There's a big ol' smile on his face and he gives two thumbs up. ] Sorry, it's terminal.

[alriiihhhghtythen]

RE-HE-HEALLY.

[givesacrap]

Yes, re-HE-HEALLY.

[fricksandwich]

[Too busy looking at the sparkles on her nail polish.]

[givesacrap]

Barbie! [ And there's a whistle. ] Don't you have, oh I don't know, work to do? Or are ya just going to hang around here seeing if you can't imagine up the wedding ring from the twinkle in your nail polish that no one's ever going to pop out at you because the high-pitched screech that would escape your lips would cause everyone within a ten mile radius to go permanently deaf?

You are my hero.

[failedparenting]

You really like to hear yourself talk, don't you?

A'thank ya.

[givesacrap]

It sounds so much better than having to listen to other people, it really does.

[fraternaltelepath]

Wow. For a lot of words, you didn't make much sense.

[givesacrap]

Funny, all us people with half a brain didn't have any trouble with it. [ And then high pitched: ] Hhhhhhn.

[vanillabear]

A few things, Perry. Doc. Boss. One - you're underestimating how effective an affordable nail polish can be. And two? What if we become roommates, wouldn't that be the best?

[givesacrap]

Do we need to go back to "Big Cheese," Tina? Let me tell you something though, if we do somehow end up roommates, you will be sleeping on the cement outside the locked door and no, you cannot bring your Cher CDs to keep you company, you can. Not.

[blazing_stag]

What's nail polish?

[givesacrap]

I hate to fall into cliches but you didn't, by any chance, grow up under a rock?

[blessed_demon]

I can't tell if you're sarcastic or just egotistical.

[givesacrap]

Not one ounce of that was sarcasm. Have you seen all of these tiny little skinny pretty boys going around these parts? Of course, if you really wanted to double check you could just check out the mirror for a few seconds.

[ladyofrivendell]

My, if you aren't one of the most conceited humans I've ever met.

[givesacrap]

I make it a habit not to acknowledge people who won't break character even outside of Renaissance Fairs, so I'm going to have to pass on any kind of real response to that.

[arach_nerd]

#firstworldproblems

[givesacrap]

The whole hashtag thing is only slightly less annoying than what everyone else has been going on about because it doesn't actually involve you saying something that requires attention.

[egohalfempty]

Whoa.

Real life trolling.

I can't decide if I'm terrified or kind of impressed.

[givesacrap]

I'm okay with both of those.

[imdominican]

Calm down, it can't possibly be as bad as all that.

[givesacrap]

Have you actually looked at these games, Carla? If I don't have enough problems to deal with in a regular hospital I'd be damn sure to want to shoot someone in one of those.

[leftjoker]

[golf clap] 9.3, my good man. My mun says that it felt weaker due to your usual target being unavailable, but I must admit, I wonder how long it took to cultivate your ranting skills.

[givesacrap]

[ The judges will accept that score. ] I was born with it.