voice test, ota

[agent007]

I only accept orders from MI6. Though you and M both give me directions with little to no regard to my wishes or safety, as far as I know, M does not cackle gleefully when when her orders result in compromising positions for me. Your delight in my suffering is very unsettling. 

Are you sure you don't have an island with your face carved into a volcano? Or any plans to blow up the moon? Because the longer I work with you, the more you remind me of some of the more eccentric villains from my past. 

PS: Stop staring at my ass so much. You claim to be a lesbian, for God's sake. 

Comments

[thequarter]

I had no idea you were so against people staring at your ass. I thought you relished the attention.

[agent007]

Usually I encourage it. But I do make an exception for megalomaniacs.

[thequarter]

So no staring at your own ass, then?

[agent007]

[a noncommittal 'hm.]

I'd rather stare at yours.

[thequarter]

[A small sputter.]

I say. That's entirely unprofessional, Bond.

[agent007]

But yours is so much more convenient. There's all sorts of awkward twisting about in front of mirrors to stare at mine. Not nearly worth the effort.

[thequarter]

I disagree. If I had your ass, I'd stare at it constantly.

Though I suppose I already do.

[agent007]

Now who's being unprofessional?

[thequarter]

I find it hard to believe that you're disappointed.

[agent007]

When did I ever say anything about disappointed?

This organization suffers from an excess of professionalism. I approve of any attempt to subvert it.

[thequarter]

You seem to be disappointed more often than not. It was rude of me to assume.

[andnottoyield]

As far as you know. [pokerface.]

[agent007]

Everywhere I turn there's another mad, sadistic woman in a position of power.

[lucky for him he's into it, even though he puts on a long-suffering tone.]

[andnottoyield]

[guess who's not buying your shit 007]

The highest priority is not your comfort or convenience. It's for the safety of our country. [And you would never know from her tone that she's given him this lecture a hundred times]

[agent007]

[but it's on sale! and for such a reasonable price!]

Of course, mum. That was never in question. [he doesn't sound at all contrite. probably because he isn't.]

Your sadistic enjoyment of my dedication through suffering, on the other hand, is.

[andnottoyield]

Taken up melodrama as a hobby, have we? I'm on your side.

[agent007]

Perhaps. MI6 does encourage extracurricular activities as stress relief, and melodrama suits the lifestyle.

[maybe he's just displeased with being so grossly objectified. it's rough when the tables are turned.]

[andnottoyield]

[She weeps for you.]

Most agents just take up boxing.

[agent007]

How very pedestrian.

[breadcrumbs]

Yours too, eh?

[agent007]

She's a sadist and a bloody maniac. Worse than M.

[breadcrumbs]

Most of them are, it seems. I believe "hideous" is their preferred term.

[brandspankingq]

Somehow, I had the impression you enjoyed flinging yourself with little concern of your own safety. And take pride in whatever compromising position M orders for you.

[agent007]

Oh, I enjoy it. But I'd rather gamble with my life in the service of my country and of my own free will, rather than at the whim of a sadistic twenty-something with a fetish for tragedy.

[brandspankingq]

She sounds perfect for you, then. I believe someone once said he has a hobby and it is called "Resurrection"?

Or am I thinking of another Double-Oh?

[agent007]

['hm's, disgruntled.]

It's less the risks and more the objectification that I'm uncomfortable with.

[yes, james, let's talk about the inherent hypocrisy in that statement, shall we?

[brandspankingq]

Is it, really? [Eyebrow lift.] Well then I suppose I shall alert the Post.

[vexings]

And for something rather different, this time around - I rather liked the general idea behind the moon one.

Well, me and mine. But cackling? Really?

[mymartini]

Well, I can't say I blame her for staring.