dear_mun | headed to towerofanimus

[Tohko sighed.] I see. So she's that far gone..

It also seems that she wants to separate you from anyone who might be your friend, even if it wouldn't change your relationship. I'm not saying that you don't know what you're doing..but make it clear to her. Don't let yourself be isolated.

I'm kind of used to it by now. [ His tone sounds defeated. Not regretful, just... something he's had to resign himself to in life. ] I know it's probably not true, but after everything both of us have been through... I kind of understand her fear.

[ Even if it's completely irrational and is more based on sheer paranoia than any kind of life experience. It might even sound more like Yukiteru is trying to convince himself of that more than he's trying to convince Tohko. ]

All that really matters is that she's happy, and that she knows she won't lose me. If not... well... [ Tohko can draw her own conclusions. ]

[Tohko sighed.]

While it's nice that you understand her pain, you should try to help her heal and overcome this.

Besides, aren't you hurting too? If things have been rough for her, then they've probably been rough for you as well. If you two are going to stick together, your happiness matters too.

[ He frowns, and breaks eye contact with her. ]

As much as I wish she could, I don't think she'll ever fully heal from everything she's been through. She's lost so much, and... well... so have I. I'm all she has left. And really... if I'm going to this Tower, she's all I have left. I just have to make sure she doesn't lose me. I don't think she could take it.

[ It's obvious he cares more about her than he does about himself, much as she does about him. Just in a different way. Yuno would hunt down and remove - often violently - anything she perceives as a threat to their relationship. Meanwhile, Yukiteru is completely self-sacrificing, and despite obviously knowing and fully acknowledging how violent and crazy Yuno is, absolutely refuses to leave her. Maybe it's out of fear, or maybe it's out of genuine love. Most likely, it's both. He does love her, and it couldn't be more obvious... but he knows what will happen if Yuno ever does lose him. And he doesn't want that. Not for her, or for anyone else.

He's the one thing standing between her and total insanity. And he loves her too much to let that happen. ]

Edited 2012-11-16 06:45 (UTC)

[Tohko sighs, but smiles a little.]

While I do feel sorry for all the pain and loss you two have received, you both can heal. Even the most broken of heroes can eventually heal. It mainly takes time, sweets, and a lot of company.

However..you two aren't all you have anymore. You'll be coming to this Tower, and while it is a pretty cruel place sometimes, the majority of the people there are kind and friendly, if a little broken. You both can make new friends and still be together. You both can make new connections and still love each other, if that is what you feel towards her.

[ Yukki falls silent, his eyes lowering to the ground. He knows she's right, and in a perfect world, Yuno would agree. But she's just so afraid of losing him, and in a world where everyone was either trying to kill them or arrest them (and granted, he completely shared the blame for that), she had a fairly justifiable reason for that.

But it doesn't matter now. They're both getting what they want. Yukki has a chance to see Yuno truly happy, and Yuno will be able to be with him without ever having to worry about the survival game again. A world where, maybe, they can finally be happy. Where they can ignore that voice in the backs of their heads saying "Someday, one of you will have to die."

No. Not anymore. This is maybe their one chance to finally be happy. To be normal. At least, slightly more normal than they otherwise are. ]

I understand what you're saying. I really do. But... you don't understand what this means for me and Yuno. We're... finally escaping the survival game. She won't have to worry about that ever again. I can't take that away from her. I... I won't.

Edited 2012-11-16 11:28 (UTC)

[Tohko sighs.]

A survival game, huh? I assume that this is a game where you have to fight for your life. I'm sorry to break it to you..but the Tower you'll be entering is pretty horrific too. There are some lighthearted moments..but there will also be quite a few monsters and deaths along the way.

So, she won't have to worry about your old world. She'll have to worry about this new one, which may be just as worse. And since the characters in that Tower do fight with each other sometimes, your friend's tendencies to want to kill or remove people that get near you is going to hurt not just you, but others and herself in the Tower.

Am I making any sense? I'm not trying to be harsh..but you have to understand what you might be up against if you wander into our Tower expecting a paradise.

Yeah. I-I mean, there's more to it than that, but...

[ He knows about the Tower. That weird, emotionless albino in the business suit already told him about it. Not that he's worried... he can handle himself, and he knows Yuno will more than make good on her promise to protect him there. Of course, that's what worries him. Yuno's idea of 'protecting him' isn't... well... normal. ]

I know... And I don't. But... I love her. And even if this world isn't much better than our own... there's still no survival game. We won't have to hurt each other. We can... we can be happy. And I don't want to ruin that for her. She needs it, probably more than I do. If that means letting her keep me all to herself...

[Tohko sighs again and smiles.]

I see. So you're the type who would sacrifice everything for his beloved. While stories like that are usually bittersweet..the Tower is worse than Wuthering Heights in it's setting and cast.

Just..keep her in check, and make sure she's happy. Just don't kill yourself in the process. After all, she'd be sadder if you were gone or depressed.

I couldn't do that. I don't think she could handle it if she lost me, especially if it was because she couldn't protect me.

[ Tohko, he knows. Trust him, he took the red pill a long time ago, he knows exactly what Yuno's like, up to and including the fact that she won the previous survival game and killed the second Yuno. And for better or worse, he accepts her the way she is. ]

This is our one chance to try to live a normal life. [ As normal as it gets for them, anyway. ] I... I won't mess it up. For either of us. I love her too much.

Right...you do get what I mean though, right? Other than yourself, you'd do everything to help this girl.

[Tohko sighs one last time and scratches her head.]

The Tower really isn't that normal..but if you can find some happiness there, then that'll help the both of you. Just make sure she doesn't mess it up either.

That's all the advice I can offer to this odd couple..except to stay away from any suspicious-looking characters.

I understand... but... she deserves to be happy. Just once in her life.

[ His eyes close, and he lets out a slow breath through his nose. ]

I know what she went through, now... and... and I can't let her hurt anymore. I need her, too. Just like how she needs me.

[ He starts trying to fight back tears. ]

You both deserve to be happy. You both have gone through a lot..but know that while you guys love and need each other, you can lean on your friends. We're here.

[Tohko noticed and pats his head. She would hug him, but since he likes someone, she doesn't want to make this awkward. And it would be terrible if his girlfriend noticed.]

It's alright if you have to cry. Crying after holding it in for a long time feels better, for some reason.

[ Yukki shakes his head. ]

If I do, she'll think you made me.

[ He sucks it up, and wipes his eyes off on the back of his sleeve. ]

She's been through so much. And... and I know what you probably think about her, and I can't really blame you. But... you don't know her like I know her. She really does love me, and only want to protect me. She's just... scared. And the only way I can protect her is by protecting myself.

I'll just have to tell her that I didn't then. Then again..she may not believe me. If so, I can live with the consequences. Besides, I'm a quick runner.

Then protect her as best you can. Just make sure you don't forget about your other friends. If you do, then you'll hurt yourself, and that won't help either of you.

[ Welcome to his life, Tohko. ]

I just want to see her happy again. Like... like we were on... that night.

[Tohko nods.]

Don't worry. She will be if you take care of yourself and her. It'll take time, sweets, and company, but she'll be alright. You'll be alright.

She only wants me for company. But... I'll try to keep that in mind.

Well, if she's happy with only you, then that's alright. However..you have to make sure you're happy too.

And thank you. Good luck in the Tower, if you ever manage to make it there! It's not a safe place, but the majority of the people there are nice.

I'll be happy when she can be happy. Really happy, for once in her life. Without making herself sick with worrying about me or anything else.

[ In other words: Never. ]

[Tohko sighs.]

Then hopefully that day will come soon, so that the both of you can be happy.

Yeah... me too.

[ He breaks eye contact again. Jeez, everyone acts like he has no idea what he's gotten himself into. He knows. He knows what she's like, and that this relationship is exact opposite of healthy. But nobody ever said love was logical, and frankly, knows damn well Yuno is a danger to herself and anyone whose name isn't Yukiteru Amano.

But he can't help it. If he loses Yuno, or worse, if Yuno loses him... ]

headed to towerofanimus

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