dear_mun | On the New Journal's Shenanigans...

What are you talking about? Sometimes I enjoy this place more than my games.

[Dia blinks looking visibly startled, then confused, then he grins a little.]

That's right, Mun-sama did say this place connects across different times and universes, didn't she?

Set is never going to let me hear the end of it that the first person I talked to on this thing was an alternate version of himself.

Wait! I'm sorry. I'm being terribly rude, aren't I? I shouldn't just assume that because you look and speak like him, you are in fact him.

Cu Chulainn, is it not? It is a great honor to be able to speak with you. I am Diarmuid Ua Dui...actually just call me Dia. it's a long story, but I prefer to go by that now.

As for fun, I'm afraid I have little time for it. Not with the Mage's Association hounding Servants on our world. There is too much risk to both Set and the other Servants who have no idea that the Association isn't the benevolent entity it makes itself out to be post-Shatter.

Though, if it's not intruding too much, could you tell me about your world? If there is a chance something about it might help me understand what happened to ours, then it would be neglectful of me not to ask. Not that there is much chance, but I'm desperate to find out anything that might help us.

Oh, I've said too much, haven't I? My apologies. Maybe Set's right. I do need to get out more...

Edited (Still getting used to typing with one hand...) 2012-11-10 12:09 (UTC)

I've never heard of you. Guess you must come from a later time. Never heard of Set either, or the Association hunting Servants. I mean, the Grail War is just in Fuyuki, isn't it?

[He scratches his head.]

Uh...as for my world, you weren't summoned. It's still seven Masters and Servants. Association is staying off our heels as long as we don't do anything too big. And the priest is an ass.

[Dia chuckles a little at the "the priest is an ass" comment. Did some things never change?]

Yes, if the priest you speak of is Kotomine Kirei, then I will completely agree with you. While I never directly met the man, he was responsible for my partner's death during his first calling. I can hold nothing but loathing for someone who orders their own servant to comment suicide on a whim.

[A dark look passes across Dia's eyes, but is gone as quickly as it came and he smiles warmly.]

No offense intended, but if you are from a time where the Holy Grail Wars are still occurring as they used to, then I hope that I am indeed from the future. I would hate to think that the Association was eventually successful in recreating the Grail and restarting their meaningless wars. Too many people have died to have that happen.

As for Set, perhaps his full name, Setanta, would sound more familiar? Though perhaps in your world it is hard for you to think of a situation in which you would return to using your birth name. It was easier for us since we are living as normal humans--or as normal as ex-servants can be anyway. For some reason, people tend to look at you funny if you introduce yourself as Cu Chulainn. [He smirks just a little.] Though I can't imagine why that is.

[Dia pauses a moment, his smirk fading.]

Forgive me. I'm so used to speaking freely with him that I'm taking the same liberties with you.

Eh, I've met Kotomine once or twice around here. He seems to be an okay guy to me. Better than Sancraid Phahn, at least.

[When he hears his birth name being said, Lancer frowns and manifests his Gae Bolg.]

Don't call me that.

[He points the tip of the spear at "Dia".]

That's not a name you can say. I dunno what the fuck is going on with you and that other me, but this is your only warning. Do not presume to call me by that name. If you have to, then say my real name. Hell, even calling me "Prince of Light" or something would be better.

[There were probably ghosts that had more color in their faces than Dia had at the moment and for the longest time, all he can do is stare and hope that he hadn't flinched as hard as it seemed he had.

When he finally gets enough courage to speak again, his voice is small and shaken. There is no trace of confidence left in it.]

I-I would never... [He stops, trying to steady his voice. He had to remind himself that this wasn't his Set. This anger didn't signal an attempt by The Beast to break free.

Having that particular weapon brandished in his direction was still one of the most frightening things he could think of, though.]

I apologize for angering you, my Prince. It was not my intent. [His voice is flat and professional and after a moment of silence he continues.] You asked if the war went beyond Fuyuki earlier. In my world, it does. Or more accurately, it does now. The Throne of Heroes has, for lack of a better word, shattered, scattering all those who were upon it out into the world. We still don't know the cause. However, with an untold number of heroes suddenly free to do whatever they wished in the mortal world and no masters to hold them back...well you can probably imagine how horrid the war that followed was.

There is a reason those of us who survived really only want a chance to live normally. It's a shame that the Mage's Association doesn't seem willing to let us do so.

[Dia doesn't seem to notice that while his voice is calm, he's started to nervously rub at his right shoulder making it pretty obvious that the arm that should be there, isn't.]

Apology accepted.

[The spear disappears as Lancer calms back down. Next, it was his turn to be surprised.]

How the fuck did that happen? I mean, it's run by the will of the Earth itself. No regular magus can access it. So...how?

[Dia seems to visibly relax once the spear vanishes though his voice is still tentative.]

I would give anything to know the answer to that question. If I had it and could give it to the Mage's Association, maybe they would stop dissecting servants like bugs to find their answer. That is why I'm trying to find a way to safely connect the servants who are still around. As it is, we are scattered and hiding even though the Association rewarded those of us who helped stop the war with our freedom. As long as we remain like this, it is easy for them to sneak in and convince servants to come in and help them with a few small tests. I think it probably goes without saying those who volunteer are never seen again.

And I'd rather not get into the number of servants they have tricked into breaking the rules in their contracts so they have reason to detain them. They are never seen again either.

[He doesn't mention he's pretty sure finding a way to detain Set is high on their list. He didn't want to risk upsetting the other man again.]

Dammit.

[On one hand, he understands what the Association is trying to do. Servants are, by their nature, beings who have already died once. They should have rested in peace in the Throne of Heroes instead of roaming around the modern world. Yet, as heroes, they deserved a more honorable death than one on a lab table.]

You know, if they didn't like the Servants, they should've just challenged them to a duel and killed them. Why the fuck do they have such a convoluted plan? Makes me sick.

[Dia smiles a little bitterly. It isn't quite the reaction he'd expected, but it makes sense all the same. After all, this man hasn't been outside of war for years like he and Set have. He hasn't had time to relearn what it's like to live as human--hasn't had time to learn to love. His new life is only a temporary stop to him.]

I don't claim to understand it either. Perhaps it is their way of trying to have some control over beings as powerful as we are? I know for a fact one branch is specifically trying to find a way to develop Command Seals that can be applied to force a master/servant bond like the old days. I guess some people can't stand to see powerful things not be under their control. If there is a way, they want to find it before destroying that power.

But destroy they will if it comes down to it. The list I have of those who they have killed is proof of that.

I suppose they are also afraid. To see Set lost to The Beast would be enough to terrify even the hardest of souls. To think there are others out there like that--that the war could restart and put even powerful mages like themselves at risk--I guess I can't blame them for being afraid.

[He pauses and when he speaks again, his voice has hardened.]

I may understand their fear, but I won't accept their methods. They were the ones who let us go to learn to live again. They have no right to try and put us back on a leash like some kind of whipped dog. If they are scared, then there are those who would protect. But no one will want to help them if they continue like this. They are only inviting retaliation!

[He stops himself suddenly, as if embarrassed by his outburst. His voice is much softer--almost questioning--when he continues.]

Am I wrong to think a mere sliver of a long dead man's soul deserves anything? Maybe, but I can't just stand by while my fellows are hurt in such a way. Even a mere sliver can feel pain.

[He's silent for a long while before responding.]

I was one of those guys who just ran around doing whatever the hell I wanted and taking pride in the fact that being stronger than anyone else made me a hero. But I knew some people who genuinely fought to make this world a better place. Who helped make the world into what it is now. If anything, those guys deserve some gratitude. Even the magi should be able to admit that. If the Association is really betraying even the heroes who would defend humanity, then yeah, they need to have their asses kicked. Hard.

[He just doesn't understand why his other self would sit on his ass and let this happen. He had never been able to stand traitors.]

What's the Beast, though?

[He knows he had his riastrad back in his lifetime, but his class should have dulled that ability.]

Who the hell cares if you're a sliver or not? You remember all the shit from back when you were alive. You think and you feel just like anybody else. As far as I'm concerned, that's all there is to it. Just live life the way you want to.

[Dia blushes slightly, embarrassed.]

Thank you. I appreciate it. I know that's the truth, but sometimes I doubt which I am told is just as human an emotion as any of the others. This [he motions toward his missing arm] doesn't help matters. I have learned to fight again, but...

[He stops a moment and then quickly changes the subject before he humiliates himself even farther.]

The Beast. How to best explain him... He is an indirect result of the Shatter. Our class lines have been blurred somewhat. While most servants have tended to gravitate toward one class--the one they were originally summoned as or best fit--others who very strongly fit more than one class have become blended.

[He pauses, raking his hand through his hair.]

I am making this more difficult than it needs to be. Maybe the best way to explain it is that it is as bad as you might think from my description. The Beast is pretty much a personification of his riastrad or whatever form it might have taken had he been summoned as Berserker. Only because of the blending, The Beast can think in a limited form and has developed a drive to protect one thing.

Me.

I think you can understand how this might be a problem for us around normal people. If The Beast gets even an inkling that I might be in danger it goes mad and takes over. Sometimes I can talk him down. Most times I have to fight him to a standstill.

There have been times I was very grateful he can heal...

And this is our problem. It's dangerous for him to go out, but he needs to stay with me in case he slips. If he hurts even one person besides me, his contract will be broken and the Association will come for him.

I can't let that happen. More importantly, I promised him I wouldn't let him add anymore regrets to those he already has.

Edited 2012-11-10 22:13 (UTC)

See? That's your problem. You think too much. Let me guess--you're another one of those responsible people.

[Lancer is fairly impressed by the description of the Beast.]

Woah, you're probably a strong guy if you could stand against my riastrad on a regular basis.

[Now he wants to fight Dia.]

...How do you define hurting? I mean, I can hold them upside-down and shake them up a bit? Tie them to a tree by their underwear? Scare them so hard they fall down a flight of stairs?

Responsible is something I've been called, yes. Being the first of of the Fianna meant being responsible for a great many lives. It was a position I took very seriously.

And I just realized that name will mean nothing to you. My apologizes. Lets just say that I know much about responsibility and leave it at that.

[Dia pauses for a moment torn between wanting to laugh at the silly examples of hurt that the other man listed, and knowing it was really no laughing matter.]

Unfortunately, as corrupt as the Association is I expect that even the smallest scratch to another person would be enough for them to want to bring him in. I suppose it doesn't help that they know we are aware of what they are doing unlike many of the other servants who are out there. That makes us even more dangerous to them.

[Then it registers who just complemented him and seriousness is replaced by humility.]

Please don't think me too skilled. Deep down, even when berserk, he doesn't want to kill me. I'm sure that's the only thing that has allowed me to succeed as I have. Despite being a Lancer myself, speed and agility will only get me so far in the face of...that.

[Dia would be correct that Lancer has no idea who the Fianna are.]

FUCK THAT! I can't even punch a guy for being an ass? Man, your world is fucked up. So why does the me from your world sit on his ass all day? If it was me, I'd riastrad the shit out of all those Association assholes.

[His expression softens.]

But I'd see why he wouldn't hurt you, though. You're nice enough. And man, I didn't realize there were any Lancers except me and that other me. Someday we should test our skills against each other.

[Dia smiles brightly at the idea of being able to fight with another version of his childhood hero. He can't help but wonder if this one would fight differently from the one he knew.]

I would be deeply honored to have a chance to fight with you, though my fighting style has had to change a great deal in the last few years for obvious reasons. I suppose I'm an odd little Lancer now since I am happy enough to fight with spear or sword.

As for Set, believe me, he hates not being able to do anything to them. On that front, you and he are identical. Unfortunately, he also knows that if he does anything he won't be the only one to suffer. Were it only him he had to worry about, I'm pretty sure he would have already done just as you suggest you would do.

[His voice drops off suddenly. He's unsure if he should say what he's about to say, but at the same time, he feels like it needs to be said so that the other man understands exactly why Set can't let The Beast loose on the Association.]

During the war that followed the Shatter he and I worked together a great deal. I suppose those trying to organize things felt that our common homeland would help us be more effective against the enemy. They weren't wrong and we bonded very quickly. This is why The Beast is so protective of me. I was the hand at his back during a very difficult time.

Would it be terribly surprising to say that we became lovers after that?

Can you really condemn him for not wanting to be used as a weapon of war against those he loves? I'm pretty sure that even as foolish as the Association is, they would realize that he would be much more useful as a weapon than an experiment. I mentioned before that they are working to find a way to force the master/servant bond on us, but even if that doesn't work they have another method with him. All they have to do is use me and The Beast would turn on those that would be our allies even as Set uselessly screamed his refusal in the background.

So yes, our world is fucked up. I could not agree with you more.

[Lancer sputters as his face turns pale. Finally, he looks at Dia with an...interesting expression.]

You're shitting me. Please tell me you're shitting me. Either that or you turn into a woman in bed because some sort of curse you had in life.

[Dia can't help but chuckle though he knows it's rude.]

While Mun-sama tells me that there is plenty of fanart out there of me as a woman, I'm afraid I don't. Would it help any to tell you the first time involved a lot of liquor?

Truthfully, I am honored that he is so accepting of my feelings as wrong as they may seem to others--especially those who know either of our legends. It's just...well when you spend your whole life having women throw themselves at you professing their love and you know they only do it because of a curse placed upon you it gets old.

Even now that I have actually met some women who can withstand the curse's power, I still find it hard to trust anything they say, especially if it is some form of flattery.

[He won't get into how those bewitched women have cost him his life more than once. Not while the mood seems to have lightened some.]

I was on top, right?

[He might as well as commit suicide out of shame if he allowed himself to be topped by another man.]

Alright, that other me must have had some...experiences. I mean, the only way I can imagine bedtime working is if I was drunk every time.

[He's still too shocked and embarrassed to realize how much his words must be hurting Dia.]

And you'd...probably not be the only one I'd be sticking it into. Even if you're a good man, I'd still need a cute girl every now and then.

[He peers closer at Dia.]

Actually, it's a shame you're not a woman. You'd certainly make a beautiful one!

He topped, yes if that is actually that important.

[Dia was thrown a little by the other man's repeated use of 'I' as if it were he and not Set they were talking about, but he let it go. What he couldn't let go was the implication that Set had to be cheating on him because he wasn't a woman.]

And I would have you know that I am, in fact, the only one he's 'sticking' it to. While I cannot vouch for your loyalty to those you claim to love, I can vouch for his.

I am rather used to people telling me I'd make an attractive woman by now, but I can't help but wonder how used to it you are. Mun-sama tells me that she has seen more than one picture where you make quite an attractive woman.

Personally, I'm thinking she needs to get her eyes checked.

[Okay, so maybe he's a little mad...]

[To Lancer, the various versions of the hero Cu Chulainn were the same person. And thus, he used his own experiences to judge others Lancers in other worlds.]

Wow, my experiences must have been really different.

[Physically, Lancer wasn't the type to be satisfied with one partner. He liked to try new things with new people. However, emotionally, he was loyal. No matter how many people he slept with, in the end, he always returned to his true love. It was something Emer had understood very well. This was what allowed them to have a happy marriage.]

It's not cheating if you don't get emotionally invested.

[He throws Dia a mischievous smile.]

Wouldn't I make a pretty woman, though?

[Dia raises an eyebrow and gives the other Lancer a long look.]

To be honest, man or woman, I think I'll pass. I'm quite happy with what I've got.

Set tells me that The Beast sees me as its mate. I can only assume that extra emotional attachment is all he needs to keep him from roaming.

[As one who has wrongly been labeled a womanizer for most of his life, Dia understandably hates the idea that not being emotionally attached to someone makes it somehow okay to cheat. And while he tries very hard to keep this feeling to himself, distaste drips from his next words.]

Perhaps if you had to sacrifice your chance to love in order to do what is right and honorable you would understand why I hate those words. How is it okay as long as you have no emotional attachment? You are still betraying the one you claim to love!

[There's no spear this time, but there is a hand grasping Dia's collar and yanking him toward Cu.]

[Lancer's next words are positively dripping with rage and grief.]

Don't think I haven't made those sacrifices!

[From the beginning, Cu was at fault for presuming that Dia's "Set" would share his thought processes. However, at the same time, Dia had presumed Cu did not take love seriously.]

You don't know what my Grail War was like. Has your "Set" even told you what my life was like?

[This time Dia isn't so violently cowed by the other man's anger. Maybe it's because in his mind he's finally been able to fully separate this Cu Chulainn from his own or maybe it is just that he's upset enough that the old battle instincts are starting to kick in. In either case that, paired with the physical jolt he receives when he's grabbed, clear his emotions. His voice is more level when he speaks again and the fear the other Lancer's anger brought out in it last time is no where to be found.]

Believe me, having originally lived in a time in the grand scope of things that wasn't that long after yours, I know your--his legend--very well. I was raised on it. It has a great deal to do with why I am who I am, but it seems that after that time his and your paths have diverged so greatly that I suppose it's cruel of me to make any assumptions about you based on him.

Tell me, did--no would--your master order you to commit suicide simply because he had decided you were a tool he no longer needed? After he had stolen you from your proper master--a woman who would--and had--done everything for you out of the truest kind of love?

If not, then you are a very lucky man.

[His voice drops suddenly, eyes saddening.]

That changed him forever. He will always feel he failed her even though in the end he was able to kill the one who killed her. Still, I can't help but wonder sometimes if he doesn't stay with me out of some odd sense of duty to her--if my love doesn't remind him of what little he knew of hers...

Edited 2012-11-11 14:08 (UTC)

[Lancer glares at Dia for a moment longer before relinquishing his hold on the other Servant.]

No, I never went through that.

[Honestly, he can't even imagine it. It's like his mind is fighting against any attempt to visualize the scenario. He can't understand why his other self didn't kill the murderer where he stood, and instead served him long enough to suffer a tragic conclusion.]

But he got his revenge, didn't he? Lucky.

[Again, he couldn't understand his other self's reaction. If it were up to him, Lancer would have been even less physically steadfast in his relationships. He would be indulging, or even over-indulging, in his hobbies of drinking, smoking, and womanizing just to bring some sense of normality back into his life. Just to distract himself from the emotional pain. And sex, while carrying such a load of guilt, wouldn't be fun at all. Especially not with a man. A partnership, even an emotional one, he could see. Not sex, though.]

[Maybe ten years in age and a traumatizing betrayal really does change you that much.]

Ah...her? My mun plays a version of her. Nice girl, a little too cold and stiff. If you really are like her, maybe I could like you as a friend.

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BRB: Extracting Muse from hiding after upsetting his hero. X.x

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sorry ProtoLancer is so mean

LOL! No apology needed. He actually took it better than I thought he would!

Re: LOL! No apology needed. He actually took it better than I thought he would!

Dia...Babe...don't do it.... *hides*

Just hit ProtoLancer already

Hmmm...Cu Chulainn: Gae Bolg. Yeah, Dia would like to avoid that insta death. K, thanks.

He's not gonna stick it in just yet

Must resist more bad spear puns. So hard....*falls over*

Re: Must resist more bad spear puns. So hard....*falls over*

Dia...Babe...don't do it.... hides

Must resist more bad spear puns. So hard....falls over

Re: Must resist more bad spear puns. So hard....falls over