homeless;

[ladytactful]

Oh, honestly, you're acting as though you've never even considered playing me somewhere! I know for a fact that is not true. You have considered it many times and gotten scared every one.

Don't you want to see Anders molting from shock when he realizes that I'm a woman?

I swear, you're better than Carver at being a wet blanket.

Comments

[birdhousesoul]

I could cite the imminent arrival of your cousin Amell. I could cite the opportunity to pal around with King Alistair on a haunted spaceship.

But no, the main attraction has to be ... molting.

I never did find out what a crow in anting was.

[ladytactful]

Oooo, my cousin's coming? That's brilliant, I've never met any of my cousins. And I'm sure the chance to meet King Alistair would be an exciting one.

But you're just so adorable when you get flustered.

[ innocent chinhandsing, oh yes. ]

[birdhousesoul]

I am not adorable. That's such a belittling term.

[He says. Unconvincingly. Whilst molting.]

Honestly it'll be loads of fun. [By which he means, it won't.] There are horrid masks on all the doors now. Mine looks like a blighted saarebas. I'm half afraid it'll jump off the door.

[ladytactful]

As darling as a kitten.

[ PRECIOUS ]

Mmmm, horrid masks that with my luck would end up to be some evil blood magic or something along those lines. Yes, sounds like ever so much fun, Anders, how could we have doubted you for a moment?

[birdhousesoul]

How could you have doubted me? Have I ever failed you?

[A serious question, in the guise of a joke. He doesn't know what she's been through -- or what she knows.]

[ladytactful]

[ She laughs, and claps him on his feathery, feathery shoulder. ] Well, there was the time in the Hanged Man when you swore you wouldn't let me get drunk enough that I'd do anything too embarrassing, and then you let me get up on the table and sing that song about the Rivaini and the Qunari.

You did not come through for me that night. I may never forgive you for it.

[birdhousesoul]

I never did claim to be a gentleman.

[He doesn't remember the incident in question, of course. Garrett never sang a song about the Rivaini and the Qunari. He was more apt to knock over tables than to dance upon them. Dancing, he'd do, just ... not on tables.

Anders almost, almost says: I wish I'd have been there.]

Besides, who wouldn't be curious as to what rhymes with Qunari? It's like orange. Nothing rhymes with Qunari.

[ladytactful]

Really? I could've sworn... [ thinks a moment ] No, you're right, I don't think you ever had. Sneaky bastard, you are.

[ And a true shame that is, because Isabela joined in on the choruses and tried to convince Fenris to playact the Qunari and in the end Hawke fell off the table and was bruised for a week, but it was a wonderfully fun way to spend a night and celebrate not being killed by giant spiders in a cave that day.

They celebrate not being killed by giant spiders in a cave far too often. ]

Isabela knew it. You could've gotten her to sing it even without getting her drunk. But no, you had to tarnish my reputation, leave my dignity in tatters... [ mournful, melodramatic sigh ]

[birdhousesoul]

[A chuckle, at that, and an unexpected twinge somewhere in his chest.]

Something tells me your reputation isn't likely to be tarnished by anything that goes on in the Hanged Man. Now, your dignity, I can't vouch for.

[ladytactful]

[ ooooo, burn. ]

I can kill you in your sleep, you know. [ She's teasing, though. Probably. ]

[birdhousesoul]

If you were going to try, what would be your weapon of choice?

[ladytactful]

[ thoughtfully ] Arrow through an open window if I could. But more realistically, probably I'd just slit your throat.

[ ...what? He ASKED! ]

[birdhousesoul]

[So she's a rogue, then. With an exaggerated wince, Anders rubs at his throat where the hypothetical cut would be made.]

Then it's lucky for me we're friends.

We are friends, aren't we?

[By some transitive property of Anderses?]

[ladytactful]

[ she rolls her eyes and kisses his cheek ]

Of course we're friends. And I wouldn't really kill you in your sleep, you great ninny.

[birdhousesoul]

[If there were headlights in Thedas, Anders would be a deer in headlights. Since there aren't, he's merely ... frozen, for a moment, not a long moment but long enough to be Noticeable.]

I see,

[he says, guarded.]

I should hope you'd kill me to my face. As it were.

[Yeah, good save, Anders. That phrase didn't really work as well aloud as it did in your mind.]

[ladytactful]

[ The kiss was just her way of being fond. You're family, Blondie, get over it. So there might or might not be more going on back home, but she's at least conscious of the fact that you are not the man who may or may not be her lover. Shhhh, the mun hasn't decided yet. Also added bonus - it makes you do those silly spazzy facial expressions.]

[ raises an eyebrow, because that's an odd thing to say ] Well, if it ever came to that, I'd have to have a damn good reason, and you'd know it was coming. Though, I must be honest, the day that I kill you for anything other than you becoming an unsaveable abomination will also be the day Fenris decides he loves mages, Isabela gives up drinking, and Varric shaves his chest hair.

Why in the world are you fretting about that? Don't try to deny it, you get this little crease between your eyebrows.

[birdhousesoul]

I am not fretting! I'm ...

[an abomination? Would this Hawke, this not-Garrett Hawke, see him as such, if she knew to what extent Justice had become Vengeance? Garrett had a hard enough time with it, and Garrett was a mage himself --]

... overwhelmed with appreciation for your many sterling qualities. Such as not killing me.

[ladytactful]

[ It's a thin line, Anders. But it's a line that bends and sways with the context of the situation. Without having been there to see everything unfold, she would withhold the sort of judgement that would lead to your death. Unless you went nuts and just started killing people willy-nilly, of course.

Doesn't mean she'll like it if she hears of it, but morality is not her strong suit, however well-intentioned she generally is. ]

Oh, Maker, you're acting like-- Oh. Andraste's tits, I'm an idiot and no mistake. You're not used to my casual and entirely not at all serious death threats, are you?

[ she has the presence of mind to look sheepish, at least ] Sorry. It just came tumbling out of my mouth without me stopping to think if maybe you're used to me being less likely to threaten death upon all and sundry at the drop of a hat, as well as being without my rather lacking bosom.

Oh fancy seeing you here

[smallclothes]

Tell your man that he must strike, and do so swiftly. There is nothing to be gained from this hesitation, and 'tis far better that he should make the attempt and fail than to do nothing.

Truly, I see little reason to be frightened of the task in the first place, when there is so little to be lost should he fail.

Oh, you know, I get around. Or something. /sobs

[ladytactful]

Oh, you know men, though - always concerned about how their exploits reflect on the prowess of their manhood. And he does get so adorably nervous at the idea that if he failed, he'd be letting people down. As if this is anything but a lark they take on for their own enjoyment!

[ shakes her head ] Idiots, the lot of them.

That's what she said???? Also Morrigan is forever horrible I'm so sorry

[smallclothes]

I would think that acting with courage would satisfy the masculine pride he harbors. [Have I mentioned how sorry I am about her awfulness]

'Tis only a game, and if there are others foolish enough to allow themselves to be disappointed by something so fanciful, then clearly the fault lies with them. If such a thing came to pass, his failure would teach them a valuable lesson.

she is but that's why we love her??? or something.

[ladytactful]

You would think that, but apparently that's not the case.

[ dramatic sigh ] Oh well, if he insists on being a scared little girl, there's not much I can do except goad him and hope he gets sick enough of it that he starts acting like a grown man.

Of course, my tactics may be flawed. They never worked on my brother.